We dont have sex.?? Any help

Justcurious123

Hey all fairly new to this fourm.
My girlfriend and i are going out 2 years now. and I suppose u could say we probly havnt had sex in 12 months or so now so I'm starting to get a bit worried we get on really good we stay together 5 nights or more every week we didn't have sex a lot when we first started going out but I'm not a man to push anyone so I said I'd give her time because I knew she had a relationship end badly not long before, now I know she still seems to talk to that ex still but I don't think she would go behind my back. Any help appreciated as I don't know what I'm doing wrong I seem to be the only one of the two of us that wants to have sex ?

Loveinapril

Have you mentioned this to her at all? Are you intimate in other ways?

judeboy101

Justcurious123 wrote: »

Hey all fairly new to this fourm.
My girlfriend and i are going out 2 years now. and I suppose u could say we probly havnt had sex in 12 months or so now so I'm starting to get a bit worried we get on really good we stay together 5 nights or more every week we didn't have sex a lot when we first started going out but I'm not a man to push anyone so I said I'd give her time because I knew she had a relationship end badly not long before, now I know she still seems to talk to that ex still but I don't think she would go behind my back. Any help appreciated as I don't know what I'm doing wrong I seem to be the only one of the two of us that wants to have sex ?

Relationship ended badly but still talks to her ex? "danger!danger!, will Robinson"

Johngoose

Is she your friend rather than girlfriend?Is it possible you are paying for everything and she is living off you?She must be sleeping with ex.Sorry.

T-Maxx

She's using you. Get out. Quick.

I'm surprised it took so long.

zoe 3619

Slightly unfair replies,I think,as we don't know that this has anything to do with the ex.
Do you try to instigate anything,or do you presume she won't be interested?
You really need to talk to her.Be open and non judgemental,and ask what the problem is.Pick your moment,so you both have the time to talk and listen.
This will destroy your relationship over time,so sort it out or move on.

niallers1

Justcurious123 wrote: »

Hey all fairly new to this fourm.
My girlfriend and i are going out 2 years now. and I suppose u could say we probly havnt had sex in 12 months or so now so I'm starting to get a bit worried we get on really good we stay together 5 nights or more every week we didn't have sex a lot when we first started going out but I'm not a man to push anyone so I said I'd give her time because I knew she had a relationship end badly not long before, now I know she still seems to talk to that ex still but I don't think she would go behind my back. Any help appreciated as I don't know what I'm doing wrong I seem to be the only one of the two of us that wants to have sex ?

It could be a monkey relationship. Sounds like she won't let go of one branch until she's certain of grabbing another one.

Ursus Horribilis

niallers1 wrote: »

It could be a monkey relationship. Sounds like she won't let go of one branch until she's certain of grabbing another one.

Or she's grabbing both branches at the same time but yanking both in different ways...

timmy880

Sorry but I think it's time to back away from this situation. No intimacy in a year combined with her talking to the ex? Some people think talking to an ex is harmless (fair enough their opinion) but if it leads to obvious behavioral change towards the relationship which it has in this case, then it's usually connected.

You should talk to her about how you're feeling though. Then make your decision from there. Best of luck.

Xterminator

Hey OP

you don't mention a lot about communication.

i understand you wanted to give space to her, but have you have been discussing the relationship, how you feel, and where it going?
Because for specific reasons its possible a relationship can survive a period without sex, but less likely to survive a year without meaningful communication.

IMO the lack of sex is a symptom of underlying issues. sit down calmly and discuss. Explain you do want a sexual relationship and see if she is on the same page as you. if you dont both want the same things from this relationship it's time to move on.

good luck

Katgurl

How long are you together? How old are you both?

They are most likely two separate issues.

1) sex - have you discussed the absence of it with her? Is she concerned? If she is just not pushed are you prepared to accept a relationship without intimacy (I certainly would not).

2) the ex - has she concealed talking to him? Are they friends? Do you think she still has feelings for him?

You've provided minimal information but based on what you have; it doesn't look good.

Calypso Realm

Johngoose wrote: »

Is she your friend rather than girlfriend?Is it possible you are paying for everything and she is living off you?She must be sleeping with ex.Sorry.

I've noticed this can be a standard response, from invariably males, when there are intimacy problems in a relationship. In my experience it's rarely, if ever, true. Far more likely (where women are concerned) to be a reflection of the state of relationship as a whole. Others include she's no longer attracted to you which,while true in some instances, is far from the real reason for the lack of intimacy.

OP you need to start communicating- citing all your your concerns- with her! It's the only way to gain insight into what the underlying issues are.

BetsyEllen

I'm absolutely blown away that anyone could stay in a relationship where there's been no sex for 12 months...that is absurd.

I've been single for almost 8 months and I have more sex than you do OP!

A relationship without sex is a friendship and you are seriously losing out.
Why on earth would you want to be in this situation, when you could be with someone who you get on with just as well as your 'girlfriend' but who also enjoys an amazing sex life with you?

I'm not even going to go into the ex situation, it's irrelevant at this stage.