Worried about Something on a Phone

clairewithani

My phone broke last night, won't turn on again. My partner gave me his old phone to use till I get a better one. There were 5 contacts on the phone and I don't know really why but I got a bad feeling about one when I saw it. It had no e-mail or number attached. It was thefirstthingthatyouarelooking I put it into google and one thing that came up was Plenty of Fish. Things are not going great between us at the moment and I did wonder if he was not happy with me. I will ask him about it but just wanted advice on this. Should I research more about it first or should I ask him straight out. Does anyone know is it another name for plenty of fish? I feel really down about it because I just know in the pit of my stomach that this is bad news.

Mr. Incognito

Mountain out of a mole hill

A contact, with no email or number from an old phone and you google it and one of the hits is probably a username on pof.

It's a huge leap from that to saying that he was in contact with someone and the phone may pre-date your relationship.

THis is not evidence of anything and I certainly wouldnt go brining it to him in an accusatory way.

Just work on your relationship.

ManOfMystery

Well first off, how old is the phone? Was it from before you two getting together?

clairewithani

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Well first off, how old is the phone? Was it from before you two getting together?

No the phone is one he got with an upgrade a few months ago but he didn't really like it. He won an i-phone two months ago and started using that then.

ibarelycare

Was it a Plenty of Fish profile that came up when you searched the username?

Airyfairy12

If you want to play detective it could just as easily have been an attempt at a text message while drunk accidently typed into contacts, it could be an xbox username, it could be song lyrics he was trying to remember, maybe his phone was in his pocket, predictive text created a random sentence that got saved to his contacts.. it could be a million different things.

Why would he have someones plenty of fish username saved? if he found them once without the username he could very easily find them again, he's got no reason to save it.
Nobodies going to hand out their plenty of fish username to people they meet, they'd give a number, email or add them on facebook if they wanted to talk to them. Does he even have a plenty of fish account?

Unless he's given you solid reason in the past to question his loyalty to you I dont feel like youve anything to be concerned about.

Im sorry but you sound like a nut, calm yourself down or you'll destroy the relationship yourself with paranoid and irrational behaviour.

leggo

I just put that into Google there. The phrase itself has no search results, the corrected phrase broken up had nothing from POF in the first 5 pages (stopped looking then).

You may be over-thinking this somewhat OP.

clairewithani

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

If you want to play detective it could just as easily have been an attempt at a text message while drunk accidently typed into contacts, it could be an xbox username, it could be song lyrics he was trying to remember, maybe his phone was in his pocket, predictive text created a random sentence that got saved to his contacts.. it could be a million different things.

Why would he have someones plenty of fish username saved? if he found them once without the username he could very easily find them again, he's got no reason to save it.
Nobodies going to hand out their plenty of fish username to people they meet, they'd give a number, email or add them on facebook if they wanted to talk to them. Does he even have a plenty of fish account?

Unless he's given you solid reason in the past to question his loyalty to you I dont feel like youve anything to be concerned about.

Im sorry but you sound like a nut, calm yourself down or you'll destroy the relationship yourself with paranoid and irrational behaviour.

1 sentence jumps out at me here and that is the one i will answer this man has given me solid reason in the past to question his loyalty to me
More than once.<Mod Snip - not appropriate in this forum, please take more care>

bee06

Claire based on your posts in AH I think you already know you are in a toxic relationship. Either there is something going on or you are seeing things that aren't there because of his past behaviour. Either way does it actually matter which it is? You don't trust him and it doesn't sound like you are happy in this relationship. Life it too short to stay in an unhappy relationship because you are afraid of being alone.

njs030

clairewithani wrote: »

1 sentence jumps out at me here and that is the one i will answer this man has given me solid reason in the past to question his loyalty to me
More than once.
<Snipped>.

How was she supposed to know that? If you don't want to give information that's understandable but don't be annoyed when people advise on the little you do give.

There's probably hundreds of similar usernames on pof so that would be why it came up, what was it attached to- a number, e-mail address? I save really random things in my contacts and messages like pin numbers disguised as phone numbers under names of people I've never met!

clairewithani

bee06 wrote: »

Claire based on your posts in AH I think you already know you are in a toxic relationship. Either there is something going on or you are seeing things that aren't there because of his past behaviour. Either way does it actually matter which it is? You don't trust him and it doesn't sound like you are happy in this relationship. Life it too short to stay in an unhappy relationship because you are afraid of being alone.

Thank you, yes you are right. I am not happy. I think i need a break. Just go away on my own for a few days to think.

Ursus Horribilis

Do you have anybody belonging to you that you could talk to? Not necessarily with a view to ending your toxic relationship because I don't believe that's what you want. Just to clear your head a bit.

clairewithani

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Do you have anybody belonging to you that you could talk to? Not necessarily with a view to ending your toxic relationship because I don't believe that's what you want. Just to clear your head a bit.

I have a cousin i am close to. I could talk to her.

Airyfairy12

clairewithani wrote: »

1 sentence jumps out at me here and that is the one i will answer this man has given me solid reason in the past to question his loyalty to me
More than once.<Mod Snip - not appropriate in this forum, please take more care>

Ok then whats the point in staying with him? I know you love him but youre driving yourself crazy questioning everything and worrying about when the next time he breaks your trust is gona come.

A relationship can't survive without trust and you cant trust him, it'll head for disaster one way or the other. Trust me ive known plenty of women who married their cheating partners or had their kids thinking he'd change, things only got worse and they all ended up separated and stuck in a bad situation.

You'll always look back and regret not ending it with him sooner.