Illness is ruining absolutely everything and I'm really struggling to find context

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

So basically the situation is that I'm currently studying abroad in another European country but I have fallen ill since the end of October and things have just seemed to get progressively worse since then. I won't go into what's wrong with me as there's no point really and other posters can't offer medical advice anyway but what I will say is I've had a number of medications prescribed to me which have had extremely adverse effects on me and this has obviously only served to make things a hell of a lot more difficult for me.

My illness has obviously ruined my enjoyment of my time here as there's so many activities I've been unable to partake in and due to my illness, I can barely eat anything and alcohol is a serious serious no no. As I am isolated and away from my family, I am terrified all the time that I'm gonna die and not make it home for Christmas which is completely irrational as what I have been diagnosed with is chronic and debilitating but is by no means life threatening. My anxiety levels have gone through the roof and I've had a number of traumatic experiences in which I honestly thought I was going to die but of course they thankfully turned out to be absolutely nothing. I keep getting weird headaches and dizziness, especially after eating.

My girlfriend agreed too do the long distance thing while I was away, as the way it was gonna work out we would see each other every 6ish weeks with me also being home for the full month of January. However, things have recently declined rapidly and any time I try to tell her about what's going on with my illness, she starts a big thing about how I'm not meeting her needs in the relationship and I feel I don't have her as a person who I can unload my difficulties onto and that's really bumming me out as we've been together over two years and I feel that if she ever got really sick that I would definitely be there for her.

I need some context and to see some hope. I've not found a way to be able to live a normal life yet with this chronic illness that I've developed and it's something that is truly depressing. What should my next steps be? Because somehow I have to find a way to get through two more weeks here and 4 exams before I can finally fly home to Ireland.

twill

Hi there, I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time and so far removed from your usual support system.

What I would do is put the future right out of my mind at the moment and focus on getting through the next two weeks. Do you have supportive family or friends? If so, can you Skype them every day or two until you get home just to get you through the next while? If you're on Erasmus study, are there supports you can access even just to talk to?

Also, I'd talk to the Disability office in your university either now or while you're back in Ireland to ascertain if there's support they can give you. If you are finding it too difficult to continue on abroad, I would bring it up with them and with your department to see what can be arranged.

As regards the longer term, a chronic illness is not something you come to terms with in a few weeks. As you have discovered, it can impact on your life in a serious way and people you thought were friends don't seem to be around anymore. In their defence - and not to excuse them - illness is a scary thing even for onlookers because it makes us feel vulnerable.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and trust that things will improve, even if slowly. I know well how scared and powerless you must feel, but as you come to understand your illness you'll get through that and it won't worry you so much. Look for information and coping strategies from (reputable) support groups online. Accept the help of those you can rely on. Don't fight your illness because you want so badly to get back to how things were before; you have plenty of time, should you need it, to adjust to your new reality. Above all, allow yourself to believe that it will be OK.

Good luck.

anndub

Hi there