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Recover from break up

  • 04-12-2016 11:39pm
    #1
    Cocomel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8 ✭


    To cut a long story short. On and off anti depressants for 20 years. Currently on meds.
    Been through a nightmare over last 20 months. Separated from husband .. had to move house twice. My mum died early this year. Met another guy and really fell for him. My brother passed away 2 weeks ago and my boyfriend dumped me 2 days after the funeral.
    I'm a single mum to a 3 year old and struggle financially as well.
    Right now it's a struggle to keep going. I do it for my child's sake but I have no joy in life at all.
    Any suggestions advice on how to pick myself up would be so welcome


Comments

  • #2
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,405 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    Im so sorry to hear about all youve been through, my best advice would be to try and get some discount counselling, it wont fix all your problems but it will give you a safe environment to vent and get things off your chest while giving you a bit of support. Keep strong for your little one. Your ex cant be worth much if he dumped you right after your brother died, says a lot more about him than it does about you. Have you anybody around you for support? Family? friends?


  • #3
    Surreptitious
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    That's a lousy thing for that guy to do, no wonder you're struggling. What I would say is at least you got to points in your life where you were able to stay off meds which shows you are strong and capable, you just need help from time to time. I would liaison with MH teams or GPs and think about the joy your child brings you. On off days you should get a voucher for a massage or facial to perk you up. I know that doesn't sound like much but it will improve your mood no end. You need to love yourself again.


  • #4
    Cocomel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8 ✭Cocomel


    Thank you both Airyfairy12 and Surreptitious for your kind words.
    I have very little family and to be honest I wouldn't turn to them.
    I have a few good friends that have been great over the last few weeks. I have worked with a mental health team and will go back to them for additional support.
    Unfortunately financially I really can't afford to be nice to myself. With a little toddler to look after I get very little time to myself.. lol
    I just wanted to see how others helped themselves.
    It is so close to Christmas and I want to make it happy for my son. But at the moment he keeps checking me to see if I'm still sad mummy. And that's not good for him.


  • #5
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 14,907 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Do you know what, it's ok to let your son know you are sad. Your brother died 2 weeks ago. It's ok to talk to your son about that. And how you miss him and it makes you sad when you think about him. Your son will be ok. You can keep the reasons for your sadness very simple and easy for him to understand. And in time you will be ok too. Ok, the timing wasn't the best for your bf to break up with you, but he had obviously been thinking about it for a while. Would it have been better to stay with you out of pity? Stay until Christmas? Until the New Year? Until Valentines Day? Until your birthday? No time is really a good time to break up with anyone, but if someone's heart isn't it then the right thing to do is end it.

    You will be ok. It's a cliché but time is the best healer. And if you talk to your son about why you are upset, and then organise things to make you both happy you will get there. Christmas is coming which is the best time of a child's life! So even though you will still be sad you can distract yourself to some extent with doing the Christmassy things with him.


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