Are looks everything these days?

guestb12345

I'm back in the dating game after a long hiatus and my gosh, I am not having much luck. I knew beforehand that we live in shallow times but from what I see online, everyone(of all sexes) seems to want the perfect partner. Are looks and image everything these days?

Johnboner

guestb12345 wrote: »

I'm back in the dating game after a long hiatus and my gosh, I am not having much luck. I knew beforehand that we live in shallow times but from what I see online, everyone(of all sexes) seems to want the perfect partner. Are looks and image everything these days?

Definitely, studies show that attractive and tall people make more money and are more successful in life. Many studies done on this. If you pay attention you will see that leaders are almost always above average height take US presidents for example or CEOs of most big companies. Height or looks almost always means that a person will be successful.

Dave0301

guestb12345 wrote: »

I'm back in the dating game after a long hiatus and my gosh, I am not having much luck. I knew beforehand that we live in shallow times but from what I see online, everyone(of all sexes) seems to want the perfect partner. Are looks and image everything these days?

It is easier to reject ugly people online :pac:

Mister Vain

Standards do seem to be higher now alright. The window shopping mentality of online dating hasn't helped.

Goya

These days? When have looks never been important on first sight? What's shallow about that?

newacc2015

Looks have always been everything despite what all those Facebooks posts are saying

bpmurray

guestb12345 wrote: »

I'm back in the dating game after a long hiatus and my gosh, I am not having much luck. I knew beforehand that we live in shallow times but from what I see online, everyone(of all sexes) seems to want the perfect partner. Are looks and image everything these days?

No, money is important too.

Grayson

newacc2015 wrote: »

Looks have always been everything despite what all those Facebooks posts are saying

It's a bit more these days. People who share their life on facebook/instagram/whatever create a carefully crafted persona. Photo's to show their happy, photo's to show that their sad.

gammygils

Dave0301 wrote: »

It is easier to reject ugly people online :pac:

I hate the word "Ugly"
It's an ugly word

guestb12345

Flimpson wrote: »

These days? When have looks never been important on first sight? What's shallow about that?

I know they're important, but it seems looks/image are literally everything these days. I think online dating will do a lot of harm in the long run.

The flying mouse

Looks is everything ...






I don't seem to be a having a problem












Bawaahaaaaa, I drunk.

Grayson

guestb12345 wrote: »

I know they're important, but it seems looks/image are literally everything these days. I think online dating will do a lot of harm in the long run.

It's not online dating but rather social media.

eviltwin

guestb12345 wrote: »

I know they're important, but it seems looks/image are literally everything these days. I think online dating will do a lot of harm in the long run.

When the only thing you have to judge someone on is their looks it will matter more. I didn't do internet dating, I got to know my partner the old way. I didn't fancy him at all at first but he grew on me over time. There was no pressure to get a number or a date or a shag. Things were a lot slower back then but it's all about instant gratification now.

Cupcake_Crisis

Yes. Luckily I'm gorgeous.

/foreveralone

Burial.

You can't shag a personality.

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

When the only thing you have to judge someone on is their looks it will matter more. I didn't do internet dating, I got to know my partner the old way. I didn't fancy him at all at first but he grew on me over time. There was no pressure to get a number or a date or a shag. Things were a lot slower back then but it's all about instant gratification now.

I agree with you. Whether it's the times we live in or the rise in internet dating I'm not sure but so many people want perfection and they want it now. I can't help but look unfavourably upon those who have a shopping list of qualities and physical attributes in the opposite sex. Life is so nuanced and so are relationships.

If you said to me last year "Persepoly you'll be in a relationship with a Trump supporter" I would have been appalled! Yet here I am. It matters I think to give others a chance, to allow yourself to be surprised. When all you have is a profile on a screen it's damn difficult to do.

Outlaw Pete

With virtual reality headsets, the accompanying vast array of pornography, not too mention 13 tog duvets.. do we even need other people now?

eeguy

Ah, online dating isn't as bad as some make it out to be.

It's very superficial and a big numbers game, but regular dating is exactly the same, just on a smaller scale.
Just like real life the best looking, highest earning, most successful people do much better than anyone else.

But they can only date a few people at a time and marry one at a time, which leaves plenty for everyone else.

NIMAN

The world has got very superficial, but I am sure there are still some normal people left.

Yourself isit

Looks will matter online of course. What else is there to judge on. So the funny confident 6- man is at a disadvantage to the boring timid 8+. This wasn't true offline.

Ergo if you are a 6 or less and funny and confident don't do online. Meet people elsewhere.

If you are a 6, dull and timid, get rich. But that's always been the case.

Yourself isit

I think btw that men are now (online anyway) being treated as "unjustly" as women always have been. Looks only, or mainly.

NIMAN

Looks have always mattered.

When you were standing in the pub 20yrs ago, it was the tall blond girl who caught your attention, not the frumpy one beside her.

But often you found out the tall blond was a pain in the ass and would be a nightmare to have a relationship with.

How things have changed now is mostly on the male side, 20yrs ago you had a wash and sprayed on deo. Now menare grooming, waxing, tanning, shaping eyebrows etc.

Omackeral

Paging BabyE(den Hazard) to the looks thread...

Goya

Looks aren't considered everything but they have always been important - nobody looks for perfection but they look for their ideal. This isn't new either. I don't see how this is superficial. Initial attraction will be based on the physical. If a person meets this person whom they fancy based on the physical and gets to know them and realises they're not compatible at all but still stays with them because they're good-looking... then THAT's superficial.

People who look only for their ideal may be setting themselves up for disappointment but they generally learn that with experience.

professore

Yourself isit wrote: »

I think btw that men are now (online anyway) being treated as "unjustly" as women always have been. Looks only, or mainly.

That was always the case. It's worse now for both sexes I'd imagine.

eviltwin

professore wrote: »

That was always the case. It's worse now for both sexes I'd imagine.

Not true for everyone. Most people are average and still manage to find someone. On a meat market like tinder it will be more looks orientated but that's just one way of dating. To read boards lately you'd think anyone not drop dead gorgeous and with a killer body is destined to die alone.

Yourself isit

eviltwin wrote: »

Not true for everyone. Most people are average and still manage to find someone. On a meat market like tinder it will be more looks orientated but that's just one way of dating. To read boards lately you'd think anyone not drop dead gorgeous and with a killer body is destined to die alone.

Yeh. Also in real life confidence in guys matters much more than looks.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Nope there's someone for everyone

Dr Crayfish

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Nope there's someone for everyone

I'm sure my two aunties who died alone would take comfort in that

guestb12345

guestb12345 wrote: »

I'm back in the dating game after a long hiatus and my gosh, I am not having much luck. I knew beforehand that we live in shallow times but from what I see online, everyone(of all sexes) seems to want the perfect partner. Are looks and image everything these days?

Nope and im living proof. Im a roooide and a half and have no success with the women....perhaps its my modesty? :P

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

I'm sure my two aunties who died alone would take comfort in that

Was it their looks that kept them alone?

Dr Crayfish

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

I'm sure my two aunties who died alone would take comfort in that

You have to make your own luck and be proactive if its something you really want.

Dr Crayfish

I just mean the something for everyone thing is bullsh*t, lots of people end up alone

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

I just mean the something for everyone thing is bullsh*t, lots of people end up alone

Doesn't mean there was nobody for them. You make your own choices in life

maudgonner

Deleted User wrote: »

You have to make your own luck and be proactive if its something you really want.

Right, I'm off to check my POF account. Wish me luck!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I think too many people are just looking for out-and-out sex rather than a relationship and when you want sex, I think looks are going to be seen as more important.

paralysed

bpmurray wrote: »

No, money is important too.

Not if you're young though!

Money, confidence, looks, height, dress, humour, reputation, and a social circle. Try ticking all boxes and you'll be like me.

paralysed

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

With vast array of pornography do we even need other people now?

yes... it's the one thing that'll never change!

Dr Crayfish

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Doesn't mean there was nobody for them. You make your own choices in life

So you're saying there's someone for everyone but you may not meet them?

It's just a numbers game.

I know a guy who isn't good looking at all and he's a shallow, insensitive, asshole.

He's gone on what seems to me like hundreds of dates over the years and is now going out with a gorgeous blonde.

She must have really low self-esteem or something...

The point is even if you're the worst basketball player in the whole entire world if you take enough shots eventually your ball will end up in the net.

mansize

paralysed wrote: »

Not if you're young though!

Money, confidence, looks, height, dress, humour, reputation, and a social circle. Try ticking all boxes and you'll be like me.

Dolan, plz! you're on boards on a Sunday night

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

So you're saying there's someone for everyone but you may not meet them?

You may think you can do better, there's a million reasons why you're not with that somebody who thinks you're the bees knees.

Dr Crayfish

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

I just mean the something for everyone thing is bullsh*t, lots of people end up alone

They do and for various reasons from choice to just not finding a suitable person or just not being able to form or maintain longlasting relationships.

I dont believe in the whole bullsh*t of 'the one' either to be honest. In a world where we have 7bn people and you will never get to meet all of these people i think it is such a flawed concept to think that a girl you might happen to meet a couple of miles away is 'the one'. People are sold a load of bullsh*t probably by Hollywood or marketing campaigns.

paralysed

mansize wrote: »

Dolan, plz! you're on boards on a Sunday night

Only the odd once in a while, so that I can understand how the peasants think! Helps my seductions!

mansize

paralysed wrote: »

Only the odd once in a while, so that I can understand how the peasants think! Helps my seductions!

Scoring boardsies... ok...

Day Lewin

Have a look at the wedding photos in the papers, to encourage yourself.

Lots of the lucky victims are as plain as a fence post.

But, they may have a nice smile or a warm personality or a great sense-of-humour, and those things are lasting when looks wear thin.

So don't give up hope, and concentrate on looking for "nice" and BEING nice! And some very nice girl will scoop you up!

paralysed

Bobby Narrow SWordplay wrote: »

Me friend's gone on what seems to me like hundreds of dates

he's a shallow, insensitive, asshole.

Think you just answered ur own question there.

Ah it's funny how the peasants think!

Lucky for me looks are not everything or I certainly would not be in the relationship I am in - with people of a level of attractiveness that have my friends telling me they are drooling with jealousy. Yet if you imagine a shorter than the average male who looks like a nearly 40 year old version of the milky bar kid having spent his post Milky Bar Kid career indoors on computers in darkened rooms - then you are likely picturing someone who looks exactly like me.

Looks are probably only important when looks are all one has got going for them. Thankfully for those of us without them - other things are going for us. And having recently helped someone through the whole dating game thing I got some good experiences of what some of those things can be.