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24 year old male. Alone

  • 27-11-2016 7:35pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm 24 and all my friends are in relationships and beginning to settle down. I'm single and have never had much luck with the ladies at all. I'm going through a very dry patch at the moment over 18 months.

    I really am not a fan of nightclubs although do go the odd time. I would be quite enough. I also work from home. All these things combined mean I don't really get that many opportunities to meet women. My confidence is basically rock bottom at this stage.

    I'm wake up during the night in cold sweats some time panicking over being single and have no luck. All I want is a girlfriend or someone to cuddle. I really miss the intimacy and trust of a relationship but I just don't see where I could possibly meet someone.


Comments

  • #2
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    Have you considered online dating?

    For someone who works from home and isn't into the club scene, it's a fantastic way to meet people!

    You could also join some meet up groups on meetup.com. I wouldn't join these intending to meet a partner, but to make more friends, which could eventually lead to meeting someone.

    If you have some confidence and a somewhat thick skin, online dating could be a great option for you :)


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi, i can't say I have any advice for you, just that I'm in a similar situation myself.

    I don't work at home but I don't socialise with the people from work (nothing against them, they all just have their own lives to get on with) or go out much as the few remaining friends that I have are all moving on with their lives, in relationships etc and I'm still stuck at home with my parents on a Saturday night. It would get you down sometimes.

    I'm quite a shy person so I find it difficult to make friends. At this stage in my life (27) I would like to have a girlfriend and a small circle of people to socialise with but at this point in time I have neither.

    I would try tinder but I dont have a Facebook and you need 50 friends on Facebook I think before they let you on tinder. Everyone suggests meetup.com which I have also looked at but the I'd feel awkward going to one alone. I presume people usually go to these in small groups.


  • #4
    Wesser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,813 ✭✭✭Wesser


    I don't think online dating is suitable here. It is a very tough game and you have to have alot of confidence, OP said he has hardly any, I think that is like running before you can walk.
    I think you need to consider getting a more social job and building up your confidence by having a bit of banter in the workplace. Maybe a few drinks after work. There are lots of ways to meet new friends and women, a sports club eg a running club or.a cycling club. Or a choir, whatever you're in to. However you will improve your chances if you are more confident in yourself.


  • #5
    FortySeven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,296 ✭✭✭FortySeven


    I second meet up.. You don't need to worry about being single. You need to worry about being isolated and lonely. It's a recipe for disaster and a large factor in male suicide.

    Join a club, take lessons in something, get out and about amongst people even if you have to force yourself. A partner will find you if you put yourself out there. They're not going to come knocking on your door.

    Avoid online dating. It will just be a waste of time. Avoid nightclubs and trying to pull. It knocks your confidence being rejected.

    Get out in groups, be yourself and someone will be there for you. It's easy once you start. Don't look to pull. Just enjoy company. Someone out there is looking for someone just like you. She won't find you in your living room.


  • #6
    johnnyskeleton
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Politics Moderators Posts: 14,550 Mod ✭✭✭✭johnnyskeleton


    sadandalon wrote: »
    I also work from home. All these things combined mean I don't really get that many opportunities to meet women.

    Could you spend an hour or two each day in a local cafe working from there and using their wifi? The purpose of such is not to meet women for dating etc. Rather, getting out of the house and a change of scenery might give you a bounce. And of course you never know you mught bump into a friend on the way there or home and they might have a friend who is single ....


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  • #7
    Tilikum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 994 ✭✭✭Tilikum


    sadandalon wrote: »
    I'm 24 and all my friends are in relationships and beginning to settle down. I'm single and have never had much luck with the ladies at all. I'm going through a very dry patch at the moment over 18 months.

    I really am not a fan of nightclubs although do go the odd time. I would be quite enough. I also work from home. All these things combined mean I don't really get that many opportunities to meet women. My confidence is basically rock bottom at this stage.

    I'm wake up during the night in cold sweats some time panicking over being single and have no luck. All I want is a girlfriend or someone to cuddle. I really miss the intimacy and trust of a relationship but I just don't see where I could possibly meet someone.

    Christ mate....calm down for the love of God you're only 24.
    I was single for yrs & yrs before I met my misses. I was 36 when I met her. That's 12 years you have on me anyway.


  • #8
    Creol1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 554 ✭✭✭Creol1


    There are options other than Tinder, such as Plenty of Fish and OKCupid. POF has a "meet me" feature that's very similar to Tinder.


  • #9
    silverharp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,854 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    at 24 your best days are still ahead of you. You didn't say if you are in a small town or city but take up something/s social that you also might enjoy. Probably best to stay off internet dating unless you comes across as Studly McStud on your profile, the odds are against you and it might only make you feel worse about yourself. Just make sure you are keeping busy, if most nights are in front of the TV you need to shake it up.

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



  • #10
    santana75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭santana75


    sadandalon wrote: »
    I'm 24 and all my friends are in relationships and beginning to settle down. I'm single and have never had much luck with the ladies at all. I'm going through a very dry patch at the moment over 18 months.

    I really am not a fan of nightclubs although do go the odd time. I would be quite enough. I also work from home. All these things combined mean I don't really get that many opportunities to meet women. My confidence is basically rock bottom at this stage.

    I'm wake up during the night in cold sweats some time panicking over being single and have no luck. All I want is a girlfriend or someone to cuddle. I really miss the intimacy and trust of a relationship but I just don't see where I could possibly meet someone.

    Man be cool. Your problem is not the lack of a girl its the lack of a life really. Forget about girls for the moment...........well what I mean is forget about trying to get a relationship, just be calm and roll with it. You can meet someone at any time under any circumstances. First and foremost you need to start doing the things you like. Exploring life and all the things that it has to offer. Do you do the same things week in week out? Do something you would like to do, it can lead to places you cant conceive. Youre trying to figure out all the angles from where you are and you cant do that, its impossible. Plus you're scaring the sh1t out of yourself which only makes you afraid and sad. You're literally ruining your own happiness. If you live your life things will start to happen, like magic. You'll make new friends, you'll feel alive and you'll be happy and thats without a relationship. And when that happens you'll realise the truth: That a relationship is a bonus, its the icing on the cake, its not the cake. And when you really get this you'll have zero fear anymore, you wont be afraid of being alone, but at the same time you wont be afraid of walking up to some girl you fancy and going for it. Because theres nothing to lose. And the paradox is that when you have nothing to lose you get what you're after anyway. The hungry man never gets fed, but the one who is full up already gets it everything.


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