Hard working husband

PaiseanFaisean

Hi there, posting cause I'm really stressed and sad. For the fourth week in a row my husband can't make it to my ante natal classes with me. I signed up for the couples class and he's only made one class out of 5. He can't get out of work in time, and today his boss made him go overseas to do some business in a site. His boss knows I'm 36 weeks and that I need my husband nearby but It seems that he's getting even more jobs to do. Last week in the class I was totally made a guinea pig as I was the only woman there without a partner. Also I'll be all alone in the house tonight , I feel so alone.

fits

Sorry to hear that. Sounds like he has a demanding job. I hope he can be around a bit more after the birth?

LirW

Did you address the issue to your husband?
Did you tell him you need him close by now since due is not far away anymore?
Unfortunately lots of men can't make it to antenatal classes for various reasons, it sucks and I feel for you.
Is he refusing to take on such a workload or do you need the money or is he scared to lose his job if he wouldn't take on such a massive amount of work?

catrionanic

I think I was in the same class as you, hun. I was there on my own too last night, but luckily my husband managed to make the others. That said, he also has a really full-on job and went back to work every night after the classes. I spend every night home alone, and am really worried about how I'm going to cope with that when the baby comes. If we were in the same class, you'll remember the midwife saying that having an unsupportive husband who works such long hours that he's rarely around is a big risk factor for postnatal depression. That made me very worried.

It sounds like his boss is very unsupportive. Sending him abroad for business when his wife is 36 weeks pregnant is not on (although my husband will also be away for four days when I am 36 weeks....). Your husband would surely be within his rights to put his foot down on that?

Have you got family nearby? My mam is planning on coming and staying with me quite a bit when the baby arrives, as I know I'll find it really hard being alone with the baby from 9am until 2am every day of the week while my husband is working. I have a history of depression too, and am the first of my friends to have a baby so won't have any mammy-friends to meet up with during the daytime, so I'm really worried about this.

Also, have you spoken to your husband about how you're feeling? He may not be able to change his situation, but even just talking about it can help.

Any chance he might be thinking of a career change in the new year? It will be really hard for him too when he's missing out on so much baby stuff and not getting to see his child much.

It really really sucks. I wish I'd spoken to you last night now.

Beanybabog

My husband works a lot and travels a lot in work. Unfortunately there's a balance between wanting him to be around for baby stuff and realising he has to
Work hard because he is supporting us all now. At 36 weeks did his
Last travel and my Mam stayed with me. He worked all last weekend so he is ready to hop when the baby the comes. Really it's more important that they are there after they baby comes than now. Men can't take much time prior to birth like we can. It still sucks though. Talk to him and try to see can he prioritise certain things for you

dori_dormer

My husband works long hours and goes on week long business trips about once every 6 weeks. It's taken him 3 yrs to find a balance. Sometimes tho the work pulled up and I barely see him let alone the kids. They're were many chats about priorities and my pnd after our first child.
Your husband should get the two weeks off after baby is born which is at least something. We got a private antenatal class for 100 euro that only lasted 3 hrs on a sat. There was no way my husband would have been able to leave work to attend the free ones. On the second baby we did a gentle birth course which was the best money we ever spent but it's steep!

You'll find a balance of you communicate your worries and needs to him. Plan ahead now and fine out from phn when the breastfeeding groups or mum and baby groups are on. Cuidui also have great groups. There are often meet ups in the library, gymboree also. Baby massage, yoga. Anything that you can plan for to keep you busy enough and get you out of the house after you get into the swing of the whole baby thing.