Friend has become obsessed with sin

Mr Diggler

Hi all this is the first time I have created a thread and im looking for some advice. A friend of mine married some 6 months has recently got into religion and God in an extreme way. He lives away from home with his wife so I dont see him as often as I used to. Anyways he has been flat out going to confession everyday- he has told me he must repent for his past actions.

He is reading books on the consecration and has told his wife things like you will be damned for eternal damnation as she uses the birth control pill. He has told me we are all sinners and satan lives in us all. His wife has tried talking to him but he sees nothing wrong. He has said he sold his soul to the devil when he was younger. Every conversation I have with him comes back to sin. Im really worried about him and so is his wife. Prior to this he was really fun loving and up for a laugh. Now he is obsessed with the fear he might commit sin. I should state he is adopted and comes from a background of mental illness. He has had problems when he was younger like in late teens early 20's. What should I do?

Airyfairy12

Id suggest the wife talk to a doctor or psychologist as he could have serious mental illness. Theres nothing you can do other than point him in the right direction and encourage them to seek help and also just be there for support. Its great that youre sticking by him and his wife, allot of people might judge him, not want anything to do with the situation or turn their backs on them, I think just the fact that youre there and genuinely concerned will help them to get through this. You cant really do anything other than be a friend.

The Wolverine

There's getting into religion and then taking it to extremes.

Is there a local Priest or Vicar if not Catholic that the wife could first ask to have a word with him to calm him down as any Priest I know would find that very obsessive and obviously think something is up.

If he helped him on the your not going to hell.for telling lies and every little sin then the wife could work on getting the doctor to help him

Actually in fact asking the Priest to ask him to see his GP might be the only option if he's gone this Opus Dei on things

Saipanne

Mr Diggler wrote: »

Hi all this is the first time I have created a thread and im looking for some advice. A friend of mine married some 6 months has recently got into religion and God in an extreme way. He lives away from home with his wife so I dont see him as often as I used to. Anyways he has been flat out going to confession everyday- he has told me he must repent for his past actions.

He is reading books on the consecration and has told his wife things like you will be damned for eternal damnation as she uses the birth control pill. He has told me we are all sinners and satan lives in us all. His wife has tried talking to him but he sees nothing wrong. He has said he sold his soul to the devil when he was younger. Every conversation I have with him comes back to sin. Im really worried about him and so is his wife. Prior to this he was really fun loving and up for a laugh. Now he is obsessed with the fear he might commit sin. I should state he is adopted and comes from a background of mental illness. He has had problems when he was younger like in late teens early 20's. What should I do?

I know there's often a fine line between extreme religious belief and mental illness, but it does sound like he is unwell. All of it seems too sudden. He might need help.

implausible

Sounds like the way my friend's <SNIP> to manifest itself. He should get to a GP.

Jerome77

Maybe just a phase ? Six months is not too long

Mena

implausible wrote: »

Sounds like the way my friend's <SNIP> to manifest itself. He should get to a GP.

Someone in our family as well. Same symptoms. I'd suggest a doctor but getting the individual to go is a whole other matter.

Dial Hard

The Wolverine wrote:

Is there a local Priest or Vicar if not Catholic that the wife could first ask to have a word with him to calm him down as any Priest I know would find that very obsessive and obviously think something is up.

He's already talking to the priest, he goes to confession every day so clearly the priest is not going to be any help.

Mr Diggler

OP here again. Thanks for the replies. The big problem with him is that he doesnt see anything wrong. How do I or his wife get him to seek help when he is convinced he is perfectly fine. I really dont know what to do. I looked up his symptoms online which I know you shouldnt do but a thing called <SNIP> came up.

Merkin

Can we please stop bandying about medical conditions? None of us are qualified healthcare professionals and it's against charter to try and make amateur diagnoses. Similarly OP, please stop using/asking about the medical condition I've now had to delete twice from your posts.

Mr Diggler

Sorry Merken fair enough.

twill

Could your friend's wife explain what's going on to the priest? At the moment he might see him as simply zealous but if he's reasonably enlightened he could be an ally.

Ursus Horribilis

twill wrote: »

Could your friend's wife explain what's going on to the priest? At the moment he might see him as simply zealous but if he's reasonably enlightened he could be an ally.

The priest might have a fair idea what's going on. He may not know what to do or say though, no more than any of us. I hate to say it but it's possible that this may have to become an issue for the mental health services. I think your friend's wife should talk to a GP and look for advice as to what to do next. He's not making much sense but he will also know that doctors are the bad guys.

Mr Diggler

Thanks I will encourage her to maybe seek the help and counsel of a GP to see where to go from here.

Jan Laco

It might seem over the top to some, but I would encourage the wife to get out of the house until it is sorted.

If he is saying that she should go to hell, Id be quite concerned for her safety.
what happens when he hears God's voice telling him to dish out God's justice?

Airyfairy12

If it was me the last person id involve is a priest. In my experience theyre the least rational types of people, he could potentially make things alot worse. Id encourage his wife to find a good doctor and psychologist and talk to them about it, they can advise her on what to do and how to handle the situation, they'll be able to offer her care and support too. Giving him a false diagnoses that youve discovered on google isnt going to help him.

twill

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

If it was me the last person id involve is a priest. In my experience theyre the least rational types of people, he could potentially make things alot worse. Id encourage his wife to find a good doctor and psychologist and talk to them about it, they can advise her on what to do and how to handle the situation, they'll be able to offer her care and support too. Giving him a false diagnoses that youve discovered on google isnt going to help him.

Well, my suggestion was really that the priest and the friend's wife might both encourage him to seek help, assuming that the priest was relatively enlightened on the issue and the friend saw him as some kind of authority. But you're right that the first thing for the wife to do has to be to get advice from qualified professionals.

implausible

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

The priest might have a fair idea what's going on. He may not know what to do or say though, no more than any of us. I hate to say it but it's possible that this may have to become an issue for the mental health services. I think your friend's wife should talk to a GP and look for advice as to what to do next. He's not making much sense but he will also know that doctors are the bad guys.

Could your friend's wife speak to her GP on the quiet and get him to go as a general checkup or NCT kind of thing? It'd probably be impossible to get him to go if he suspects it's to do with his mental health, which he probably thinks is 100%.

Ursus Horribilis

I've a friend whose father had a lot of issues in his later years. He was a nightmare for the family to deal with because although he made off the wall decisions and caused them a lot of headaches, he was still as sharp and clever as he always had been. In the end, there was an incident I'm not going to go into here which led to him voluntarily signing himself into a hospital.

Lamentabli sane

Hi

Your friend is clearly suffering from scrupulosity, a real pest of the spiritual life. This used to be more common in the older times, but still pops up now and again. Before I get deleted by the mods, this is not really a mental illness, its difficult to describe. Some Catholic Saints, such as St Alphonsus, had to deal with this for a period of their lives.

Here is an excellent resource on the subject, which would really do wonders for your friend:

https://fatherdoyle.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/scruples-and-their-treatment.pdf

Here is a good entry about scrupulosity from the Catholic Encyclopedia:

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/13640a.htm

Sometimes it takes years to cure so be sure to give your friend plenty of patience and understanding. Encourage him to get a solid and traditional spiritual director who will guide him well (and restrict his Confession).