Feeling very low constantly

LegacyUser

I haven't been feeling the greatest recently. I've sort of overcome an eating disorder, I say sort of as it was all in my head and I just recently started a proper eating pattern and am not so dependant on the scales. But no one ever diagnosed it so I can't say what was wrong with me.

I still feel pretty terrible, I have no motivation, I'm in an intensive university course, I am very academic and have always been a high achiever but recently I have no intention when I wake up in the morning but stay in bed or drink or something like that.

Now I am here drinking alone because I felt like it and all I want is to get blind drunk and forget lots of things. I'm crying for no reason sometimes and sometimes I have this paralyzing feeling when I'm alone that it'll all end up with me by myself. I try to listen to music and keep busy but I can't keep going anymore. I fight with my parents because I am scared if I get too close i'll rely on them and wont be able to lean on them. I feel like a pariah most of them time and I don;t feel like I can relate to anyone, sad to say I feel like no one can really understand me.

Recently I've just been staying alone more because I find being around people exhausting as I feel constantly judged and anxious. I'm also constantly disappointed with things and don't feel like anyone really cares.

Has anyone felt similar and knows of anything I can do to help? I'm tired of trying to be happy all the time when I'm miserable.

Merkin

I think given the fact that you are so low the best thing you can do is visit a GP. I think it's inevitable that well meaning posters will attempt to diagnose given the list of symptoms you've provided so for all concerned, particularly yourself, its best that you seek the professional advice that you need. Best of luck.