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Caught Cheating

  • 11-11-2016 8:49am
    #1
    Giblet
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,989 ✭✭✭✭


    My usual Deli guy caught me going to another deli guy across the way, and now he won't look me in the eye, the banter has ceased, and now I wait in cold silence while he haphazardly wraps my sandwich. How can I tell him it was just because the other guy was cheap, and I felt I needed a change once and a while, but I'm back for good?


Comments

  • #2
    blindside88
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,968 ✭✭✭blindside88


    There's only one way, take a video of yourself pissing on the other deli and show him the video. He will then see that you're back for good


  • #3
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    It's too late for you.....bet he **** into the cold slaw now when he sees you coming


  • #4
    Too Tough To Die
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,056 ✭✭✭Too Tough To Die


    Sounds sensitive and in need of reassurance. Tell him he fills like you no other man ever has.


  • #5
    robarmstrong
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,598 ✭✭✭robarmstrong


    He obviously feels betrayed that you felt the need to seek different, cheaper meat to fill you up.

    Shame on you.


  • #6
    beertons
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 23,207 ✭✭✭✭beertons


    Which sausage do you prefer?


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  • #7
    Winterlong
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭Winterlong


    Tell him ye were on a break.


  • #8
    vandriver
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,472 ✭✭✭vandriver


    tomwaterford wrote: »
    It's too late for you.....bet he **** into the cold slaw now when he sees you coming
    Have you gone through life thinking that's how it's spelled?


  • #9
    cichlid child
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 646 ✭✭✭cichlid child


    blindside88 wrote: »
    There's only one way, take a video of yourself pissing on the other deli and show him the video. He will then see that you're back for good

    Wow. Take a video of you giving a golden shower to the enemy.
    That will never work bad advice


  • #10
    frag420
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,161 ✭✭✭frag420


    Just explain the other deli guy has a bigger baguette with creamier mayo....


  • #11
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,275 ✭✭✭Your Face


    This has to get on Jeremy Kyle.


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  • #12
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    There's no other way out of this other than to burn down the other deli in an act of loyalty to your current deli.

    Wear gloves so you don't get caught.


  • #13
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    There's no other way out of this other than to burn down the other deli in an act of loyalty to your current deli.

    Wear gloves so you don't get caught.


  • #14
    osarusan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,731 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Ask for a couple of baps next time, then waffle on suggestively about his hands on your baps.


  • #15
    Wanderer78
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,428 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    Flowers and chocolates, sorted


  • #16
    wil
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,188 ✭✭✭wil


    Get yourself tested for salmonella straightaway op. Hope you used cling film.


  • #17
    05eaftqbrs9jlh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,104 ✭✭✭05eaftqbrs9jlh


    Was there an agreement that you two were mutually exclusive? If you needed to look elsewhere to be satisfied I'd ask myself whether it's even worth the argument. How invested in them are you really?


  • #18
    mackeire
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,280 ✭✭✭mackeire


    vandriver wrote: »
    Have you gone through life thinking that's how it's spelled?

    Don't fancy cold slaw today, give me a hot slaw roll there please with ham. And can you cut it in half thanks.


  • #19
    Bandana boy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,337 ✭✭✭Bandana boy


    Explain that you were drunk , feeling a little underappreciated and your head was turned by a lot of attention from something new , but it meant nothing to you, was really not as good as him and all the while there you thought of him.


  • #20
    lawred2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,557 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    tomwaterford wrote: »
    It's too late for you.....bet he **** into the cold slaw now when he sees you coming

    In to the what?


  • #21
    Giblet
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,989 ✭✭✭✭Giblet


    Better than warm slaw ;)


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  • #22
    Boom_Bap
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,734 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    It's time for you to butter the deli guys bread.


  • #23
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    vandriver wrote: »
    Have you gone through life thinking that's how it's spelled?

    Yes :O


  • #24
    foggy_lad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,373 ✭✭✭✭foggy_lad


    tomwaterford wrote: »
    It's too late for you.....bet he **** into the coleslaw now when he sees you coming
    that will surely get the OP back for good!
    Boom_Bap wrote: »
    It's time for you to butter the deli guys bread.
    Just cream his coffee and all will be well:D


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