'In house' Effin' Bank Machines

DanMurphy

Her indoors was trying to explain today how her Bank has no Tellers, just machines.
(It's the future, I know, I know, but I'm old, darn it)

This system cuts down on bank employees, etc, but it also brings to an end ye olde time bank robbery...unless someone re-programmes those darned machines, which is unlikely:

Machine- 'would Sir/Madam like to deposit cash, Press button 1'
'To Deposit cheque to your account Press 2'
'Rob this Branch (without violence) Press 3'
'Rob Using fake firearm (and or) rubber knife Press 4'
'Rob this Branch by discharging real bullets into ceiling - Press 5'
Those who wish pass note saying 'just fill the ****in' bag with money you Bit@@ / c@@t' insert note in slot provided, and somebody will come to your assistance,'

Thank you for banking with us.

Your Face

Indeed.

bnt

You don't need tellers to be robbed ... just ask Tesco Bank.

Spanish Eyes

Not just banks.

I absolutely REFUSE to use the self service tills in supermarkets.

I just go to the one till with a human. Even if it takes a while, I don't care.

Badly Drunk Boy

If you were able to type a message into the machine when you're trying to rob it, you'd want to be careful of typos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UHOgkDbVqc

Winterlong

Can't ask those AIB machines for a 2017 calendar. Pffft.

snubbleste

Winterlong wrote: »

Can't ask those AIB machines for a 2017 calendar. Pffft.

Yes you can.

andekwarhola

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Not just banks.

I absolutely REFUSE to use the self service tills in supermarkets.

I just go to the one till with a human. Even if it takes a while, I don't care.

Nobody in the place does either. Good luck in the queue.

Re: banks, I'm fine with the automated services but annoyed that bank charges have simultaneously gone through the roof

beertons

That's all very well and fine, if you know your account number. I always have to wait for someone to look it up for me. Not my personal account, so I don't see the point in learning it.

lertsnim

Those machines don't accept change which is a nuisance.

biko

Banks nowadays makes the customers do all the work, and then they charge you a fee for it.

Wanna rob a bank? Get a gun..
Wanna rob a country? Get a bank..

Bank of Ireland made an underlying pre-tax profit of € 1.2 billion in 2015, an increase of 30 per cent on the previous year, according to results just published.

Maximus Alexander

beertons wrote: »

Not my personal account, so I don't see the point in learning it.

But... but you just highlighted the point in learning it.

beertons wrote: »

I always have to wait for someone to look it up for me.

jester77

Haven't been inside a bank since 1998 or 1999. My current bank is all online, they don't have any physical presence. What are people doing that they need to go inside a bank these days?

NiallBoo

jester77 wrote: »

Haven't been inside a bank since 1998 or 1999. My current bank is all online, they don't have any physical presence. What are people doing that they need to go inside a bank these days?

Lots of people get paid in cash, receive cash gifts or cheques. You may need to take out a large amount of cash than you can get on your card or get a bank draft.

Etc.

byte

lertsnim wrote: »

Those machines don't accept change which is a nuisance.

God, it'd be great if they had a coin sorting/counting machine, like you sometimes see in supermarkets, but without the huge percentage cut.

Being a bank n' all, they really should have something.

Special Circumstances

biko wrote: »

Banks nowadays makes the customers do all the work, and then they charge you a fee for it.

Wanna rob a bank? Get a gun..
Wanna rob a country? Get a bank..

Quote:
Bank of Ireland made an underlying pre-tax profit of € 1.2 billion in 2015, an increase of 30 per cent on the previous year, according to results just published.

Isn't "pre-tax profit" just called "pure profit" now for Irish banks?

http://www.independent.ie/business/irish/why-one-irish-bank-wont-have-to-pay-tax-until-2034-30391556.html

"A little-known rule will allow Ireland's bailed out banks to write off millions of euro by offsetting previous losses against future tax bills
AIB won't pay corporation tax for 20 years, while Bank of Ireland can earn €10bn in profit tax-free, the Sunday Independent can reveal."

Badly Drunk Boy

jester77 wrote: »

Haven't been inside a bank since 1998 or 1999. My current bank is all online, they don't have any physical presence. What are people doing that they need to go inside a bank these days?

I won the Parish lottery recently (well, second prize) so they gave me a cheque for nearly €200. I didn't recognise the bank when I went in.

I presume people also go in for non-Euro money.

Donald Trump

jester77 wrote: »

Haven't been inside a bank since 1998 or 1999.

Bertie ya divil!