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Pursue or give up?

  • 06-11-2016 6:58pm
    #1
    Tonywhite
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭


    Back in May I went on a couple dates with this girl. I thought the dates went pretty well & there were no awkward silences. However being the shy person I am I wanted to kiss the girl after the second date but I bottled it. I asked the girl out again & she politely declined. About a month later I texted her again saying how much of an idiot I felt & how I wanted to kiss her. Again she politely said not to worry about it. In the meantime I sent her a couple of texts nothing serious just "How are you's?" It's November now and I still think about this girl everyday. I really don't want to appear as a stalker by continually texting her & I havn't made contact in a couple of months. I felt a real connection with this girl & I've found it hard to move on.

    I really want to contact her again & see if she'd like to go out again but I'm aware that I could just be making a fool of myself?


Comments

  • #2
    Sono
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,562 ✭✭✭Sono


    Sounds to me like you are wasting your time, unless this is a long distant relationship this is going nowhere! Move on.


  • #3
    Austria!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭Austria!


    She already declined. Move on.


  • #4
    Meauldsegosha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,607 ✭✭✭Meauldsegosha


    She has already declined you twice. Respect her decision and don't contact her again.


  • #5
    OCEANIC FIZZY POP NINE
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 161 ✭✭OCEANIC FIZZY POP NINE


    Genie, 6 months later still thinking about her after a couple of dates.....did you get any response to those random how are yous??

    If you didn't then DONT write again.

    If you did I wouldn't worry about the fool part, give it one more lash. No regrets then when you think back later. You tried.


  • #6
    ManOfMystery
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,394 ✭✭✭ManOfMystery


    It doesn't matter how much you're into her, if she's not interested then it's not going to happen. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work, not one very interested one and one disinterested one.

    She's effectively told you twice she's not interested so move on. You're clinging to a relationship fantasy which exists only in your head and not hers - 6 months of dwelling on this after only 2 dates and being told 'no' is unhealthy.


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  • #7
    SarahMollie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,843 ✭✭✭SarahMollie


    OP, this is really borderline behavior and to be honest I think you (in the nicest possible way) need to get a grip of yourself over this.

    This was probably really insignificant to her, 2 dates months ago. You've built it up in your mind to be something so much more than it is. You risk becoming a bit of a nuisance if you keep trying to contact her.

    I also think that you've attributed the fact that it didnt go further to the fact that you didnt try to kiss her. From what I've read, this is not the problem, in fact its irreverent. If she's wanted to see you again, she would have agreed to see you again, its really as simple as that. If shes not feeling it, no amount of texts will change her mind and you only risk her becoming exasperated with you.

    Do you have a friend you could talk to about this? Maybe if you get this off your chest with someone who will listen objectively, you might start to move on. Its really unhealthy to develop this much of an attachment to someone after 2 dates.


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