Is my boyfriend losing interest?

LegacyUser

Been with my boyfriend for just over a year now. I just came back from a month long holiday in the states (he came with me). He stayed on when I came home to visit family members. We had a great holiday, had never spent that much time together before but it all seemed to go really well and were making plans for when we returned etc.

Heres the issue-- I havent really heard from him at all since I returned. His phone doesnt work over there but he's on facebook/watsapp a lot. He sent me one message on Monday saying he arrived and was having a good time but since then nothing. I sent him a few messages asking was he ok, that I was looking forward to him coming back but nothing, even though he continues to be online and has seen them etc.

Am I overreacting to be so worried? I keep thinking that maybe the holiday caused him to reevaluate our relationship, but there was no signs of this when we were together.

Grateful for any thoughts!

bee06

It's been a week. Give the guy a chance to enjoy his holiday and see his family.

LegacyUser

No that is weird, I would prepare myself that he has reevaluated the relationship. If you're mad into someone and only going out a year you won't leave a person hanging when they've sent a few messages over a week asking if you're ok, and just not bother to let them know even once. My gut would be telling me something was up and possibly he wasn't sure if he wants to continue. Even if it wasn't that it would hurt a little he didn't bother to contact at all for a week.

OCEANIC FIZZY POP NINE

No word for a whole week and you writing and he online!

You'd be wanting a sit down to make sure your not wasting your time.

I'd be gone, its bad treatment.

Lavinia

I would not like it either, and there is no good excuse for him doing that.

Whatever he is doing, at this point it would be good that you be the one to reevaluate the relationship.

leggo

A year isn't a short time either. It's a bit poor form if he's ignoring messages, but then again he's also on holidays and I hardly text anyone when I'm away. I'd see what the lay of the land is when he comes back. Could be something, could be nothing. In the meantime trust him (if you do in general) and assume he's on holidays and just enjoying himself to cure your anxiety, then worry when you know for sure you've something to worry about.

LegacyUser

Op here...thanks for the reply's so far, really appreciated. He's due back today, so I will ring him when he lands and find out what's going on (hopefully!). I was going to wait for him to contact me but it's been a week of worrying/sleepiness and I don't want tonight to be another one, I'd rather just know.

MeatTwoVeg

Jeez, let him enjoy his holidays without sending him needy and clingy messages, that are apparently a test to see how quickly he responds to them.

woodchuck

MeatTwoVeg wrote: »

Jeez, let him enjoy his holidays without sending him needy and clingy messages, that are apparently a test to see how quickly he responds to them.

They're in a relationship for over a year. Presumably they normally talk daily. So for someone to suddenly go a whole week without contact? Yes, that's worrying. Regardless of whether or not they're on holiday. Whenever I'm away without the bf, I always really enjoy updating him about what I've been up to, sending a few pictures etc.

I'm sorry OP, but this would definitely worry me.

BetsyEllen

woodchuck wrote: »

They're in a relationship for over a year. Presumably they normally talk daily. So for someone to suddenly go a whole week without contact? Yes, that's worrying. Regardless of whether or not they're on holiday. Whenever I'm away without the bf, I always really enjoy updating him about what I've been up to, sending a few pictures etc.

I'm sorry OP, but this would definitely worry me.

I agree with this, especially as you've specifically asked if he's OK, he's read the message and purposely ignored it.
I would be worried.

Bandana boy

Give him a chance , he might have got whacked with a large roaming bill and is cutting down all communications while he figures out what is costing him so much money.

He might have been on a serious bender with his family and pretty much out of it all week.
See what he has to say when he returns and take it from there.

gaynorvader

Maybe his phone broke? Wait until he gets home and ask him.

LegacyUser

Ah here, if his phone broke he should have told her so since he's been online all week! And he's most likely using his phone to be online. No excuse for leaving her hanging like that. We usually know deep down that there is something up, think back over the relationship have things been really that great and has he always been 100%? Look at the way he is not the way you want him to be from your perspective. Even if he says all is fine when he gets back it really is bad form to ignore you for a week. It's not good enough leaving you worried like that.

gaynorvader

Eh, I have apps that constantly show me as online, whether I'm online or not.

Ursus Horribilis

gaynorvader wrote: »

Eh, I have apps that constantly show me as online, whether I'm online or not.

It'd be some stretch of the imagination to suggest that both Whatsapp and Facebook were showing him as being online when he wasn't. It's also unclear if he was posting on Facebook. While I don't believe anyone would be expect him to be texting her 24/7 if he's busy over there, the radio silence is not right. If his phone was broken he surely would've got to a computer or borrowed someone else's device to send her a quick message.