Lad shows all the signs of liking me but never msgs

LegacyUser

Hi, just a question

So I've been seeing this boy recently. He is great, he asked me on a date, we've spent a few nights together and I really like him and he seems to be interested in me. That is the impression I get anyways and I would not consider myself dillusional in that sense.

Only thing is he never messages me. I know some might think it is juvenile to expect a relationship to blossom through social media but at the same time, although he wouldn't be the most active online, he certainly uses social media. Whenever we have talked its to organise something but he never would send a msg saying hi or whatever. Is this a sure sign he isn't interested?

bee06

What does he do when you message him?

LegacyUser

plans things with me mostly

Ursus Horribilis

Going by what you've written, it's hard to say. Maybe he likes you and isn't much of a texter. Or maybe he's saying the right things to get you into bed. What happens when you text him. Does he reply back? Does he disappear for days/weeks and and then reappear randomly?

What do you mean by message? Not text obviously?
You mean on social media? Like he doesn't message you on Facebook?
If that is the case, then so what? He gets in touch with you personally obviously, so you can organise dates right? Why would you care that he doesn't message you on Facebook?

Witchie

I wouldn't panic. Lots of people are not big into messaging. That said, if it annoys you just say to him that you would like to text a little more and see if that helps. If not then you need to decide if that is a deal breaker or not and go from there.

My ex was useless at texting or messaging. If I sent him one I could be waiting for ages or ever before he would reply and he never text off his own bat. Drove me crazy but we had a very loving relationship otherwise.

So don't freak out about it. Just explain that you would like a little more contact between dates and see what happens.

LegacyUser

he replies when I msg always but we've only really talked cos Ive been asking him 'where are you' or something. He only got my number very recently so he couldn't have texted me, i am talking about fb messages

bee06

veryscary2010 wrote: »

plans things with me mostly

Well, if he's planning things to do with you then why don't you think he likes you?

I personally have never seen the point in aimless texting or texting to say hi.

leggo

Couple things I picked up on that might mean everything or nothing:

1) You've spent a few nights together but you haven't been on a date? So it was more of a f-buddies situation that seems to be turning into something more? Or did you hook up a few times before deciding to make a go of it? He could just see it as an easy sex situation and humour you with promises he never plans to fulfil if he's not following on from this. Or maybe you just meant you've been on a few dates by spending a few nights together, if so discard this.

2) The social media thing. Do you actually have each other's number? Do you talk and plan via text/Whatsapp/Snapchat etc or Facebook or what? If you don't have each other's number and are chatting only by social media, it could be an indicator he's keeping you on the long finger, it's easy enough to block someone from your life if they're only connected to you by social media and more difficult (though not much more) once they have your number. If you are texting normally, then yeah being bothered by not talking specifically through Facebook is odd. I hardly ever talk to anyone via Facebook messenger.

Smile111

If a guy is not making any effort to text you.He is not interested. Move on:)

dudara

I'll be honest - I didn't realise that FB Messenger is a way of communicating these days. I ignore it as much as I can as it seems to be just another uneccessary walk of communicating. (Mutter mutter, I might be showing my age here )

Perhaps your fella is like me? I much prefer to text or call someone because I know it goes to them directly. Try having conversations via phone or text instead. If they don't work, then it may well be the case that he's not that interested

bee06

Are ye both quite young OP?

I don't really understand why you're messaging him asking him where he is? I wouldn't be messaging my husband like this.

I'm inclined to say if he's asking you on dates, if he treats you well and with respect then these are the important things. Messaging to say hi and ask where are you are not.

kylith

bee06 wrote: »

Are ye both quite young OP?

I don't really understand why you're messaging him asking him where he is? I wouldn't be messaging my husband like this.

I get the impression that the OP isn't asking where he is physically, but more in the vein of why hasn't he been texting.

OP, if it is always you initiating texts and making plans and he never gets in touch, and when ye do meet up it's primarily to have sex then I would suspect that he just sees you as a fck-buddy.

You have a couple of options: stop initiating contact, if he wants to see you he'll contact you. Or you could actually ask him out on a date and make it clear that going to bed is not an option. Or just ask him straight out why he never contacts you, it could be sheer laziness on his part; he never contacts you because he knows you'll contact him, or knowing you'll chase him is a nice little ego-boost for him.

SarahMollie

leggo wrote: »

1) You've spent a few nights together but you haven't been on a date? So it was more of a f-buddies situation that seems to be turning into something more? Or did you hook up a few times before deciding to make a go of it? He could just see it as an easy sex situation and humour you with promises he never plans to fulfil if he's not following on from this. Or maybe you just meant you've been on a few dates by spending a few nights together, if so discard this.

This stood out to me too. What exactly do you mean by "spending nights together". Do you actually go out on dates or do you just meet to have sex?

Without knowing more about the context of your interactions up until now, its hard to advise.