Not happy

LegacyUser

I'm 19, started college this year and I am not happy.
It's been slowly setting in over time.
I don't particularly enjoy my course, I don't feel challenged. I don't feel engaged with the material, there is only one module I enjoy and that may just be because the lecturer is interesting.

I don't really have any friends.There are people I say hello to and my housemates. But I mean I just kind of tag along with my housemate.
I'am terrible in group situations. One on one depending on the person I can hold a conversation but in a group I am useless. My neighbour (in student accommodation) sent me a text 'wow you're very antisocial when you're sober', this was when I met her and a group of mutual friends outside the block and didn't stay and chat.

I just feel drained. I expected college to be completely different. I had grand ambitions of starting a band, maybe starting a business, getting a girlfriend, but I just go out during the week and wake up the next day wondering how I got home.
That same girl (the one upstairs) she seems to like me, she invited me over to her house at 11 and I ended up staying on the couch with her till 3am. It was only when I left I thought I should have kissed her. Some days she likes me other days she doesn't. It's kind of like she likes half of me.

I realised I don't like my own company.
What should I do?

Wolfgang Megahertz

iamnotenjoyinglife wrote: »

I'm 19, started college this year and I am not happy.
It's been slowly setting in over time.
I don't particularly enjoy my course, I don't feel challenged. I don't feel engaged with the material, there is only one module I enjoy and that may just be because the lecturer is interesting.

I don't really have any friends.There are people I say hello to and my housemates. But I mean I just kind of tag along with my housemate.
I'am terrible in group situations. One on one depending on the person I can hold a conversation but in a group I am useless. My neighbour (in student accommodation) sent me a text 'wow you're very antisocial when you're sober', this was when I met her and a group of mutual friends outside the block and didn't stay and chat.

I just feel drained. I expected college to be completely different. I had grand ambitions of starting a band, maybe starting a business, getting a girlfriend, but I just go out during the week and wake up the next day wondering how I got home.
That same girl (the one upstairs) she seems to like me, she invited me over to her house at 11 and I ended up staying on the couch with her till 3am. It was only when I left I thought I should have kissed her. Some days she likes me other days she doesn't. It's kind of like she likes half of me.

I realised I don't like my own company.
What should I do?

Relax. It sounds like you're still finding your place in the world. Who you are, who you'd like to be. If you don't enjoy your course - that's ok. Many of us will chop and change careers/fields/whatever until we find the one that fits us best. Perhaps stick it out until you either start to connect with it or gain a sense of what might interest you elsewhere. Don't worry about being useless in a group. What's your definition of useless? Shy? Awkward? Unsure what to say? Again, that's normal for many of us. Don't put pressure on yourself to "be social". I'd say that comment about you being antisocial when sober was playful/an observation as opposed to something you need to take too much to heart. You are young. You have your whole life to figure this stuff out.And if you never fully figure it all out, that's ok too.

And hey it sounds like you've either got a friend or potential girlfriend there too... Enjoy.

looksee

You are half a term into a whole new way of life, a lot of new experiences, different expectations, change of accommodation, looking after yourself etc have been dropped on you. Battle on, you are doing fine. When you go back after Christmas you will find it easier. If you are regularly going back to your accommodation not able to remember what happened the night before then you should consider easing off the drink. You don't have to drink to excess to be sociable and if that is all you are doing you will never get round to starting the band etc. Give yourself chance to get to know people, it isn't necessarily the ones that are frantically 'sociable' who will still be there next year.