No one to go out with for Halloween

LegacyUser

So its getting me down a bit that iv'e no one to go with over Halloween, im an adult, late 20's but as ive gotten older my social circle has really decreased, the few friends that I have are really boring and never want to do anything, they're depressing and just want to sit at home. When I do go out with them which is extremely rare its a boring night with dull conversation no matter how much I try to lift the mood so iv'e just given up, we only ever go out on there terms anyway so I don't even bother asking them any more.
All im seeing on facebook is people organising nights out with there mates over Halloween, talking about what they're dressing up as and parties they're going to.. its times like this that it really gets me down that I don't have a good, fun, interesting circle of friends. Id love to go out get really dressed up and just have some fun. Anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

If you're friends with interesting people on facebook can't you ask to tag along to theirs?

juno10353

Try looking up your local area on facebook and see if any local organisations are having parties etc. Then contact them and maybe attend. Also see if any local clubs etc in your area sound interesting, book clubs, danci g clubs cycling etc, this is a way to expand your network of people. Are you studying or working. Is there any course running locally that interests you?
Meet as many new people as possible. Pin on that smile and get out there.....you can do it.

leggo

I have a fair few different groups of friends, but even so, a few years ago I made the conscious decision not to force myself to do anything on Halloween, New Year's, Paddy's Day etc for the sake of it. It's always terrible when you do. I mean, grand if you've got plans, but not otherwise. Don't feel like you have to do something because other people are and that you're a loser for not doing so, as someone said that's how you think when you're a teen/early 20's, it's not as relevant now. And certainly don't judge yourself based on the narcissistic social media postings of those around you, you've no idea what's going on in people's lives based on that, they could be in the same boat or have problems you'll never hear about because the idea of social media is to make your life look as fun and exciting as possible. So that's all they're doing.

In terms of your friends, if you're not happy with them then go out and find more! What are you interested in? Join something related to that, hey presto, new friends and new life! It's obviously easy to say that, but it really is that simple, you just need to take this unhappiness as incentive to push yourself out of the comfort zone, because right now your comfort zone isn't making you happy anymore.

Gannicus

Hey OP,

I'm in an extremely similar boat to you. I'm 30. Most of my mates just wanna drink cans and get high. The put very little effort into friendships especially those of us that don't live within walking distance.

I've resigned to living my life anyway. No point in sitting home and letting the world pass you by. I've gone away, gone to gigs, shows holidays etc. I was looking for things to do over the Halloween weekend and came across this:

http://www.hiddendublinwalks.com/bus-tours-dublin.php

I did the Hellfire Club tour Friday and had a ball. I talked to some very nice people and had good fun. Now I'm considering doing another one of the bus tours.

Try get out there and do things you like and you'll meet like minded people and maybe develop some new friendships too.

Collie D

I'd be slightly concerned with the way you describe your friends. Not sure I would want to do things with someone who described me as boring, depressing and dull.

HanaleiJ5N

Gotta be honest, you're attitude towards your existing friends probably has a lot to do with why your social circle is decreasing. Peoples priorities change as they get older and you don't seem to be understanding of this. You seem resentful and between you judging people like this and others picking up on your judgement (no matter how well you think you hide it, you can be guaranteed they're picking up on it) that probably tells you exactly why you are where you are.

santana75

Op it sounds like you and your friends have just started to drift apart. I think it starts to occur when people decide they want long term relationships and children, marriage whereas others dont want to go down that road, not yet anyway. I think most people do want to get married and settle down to have a family, but if you're not that way inclined it can a situation where you have to let go and set out on your own path, find out what you want from life. Its not small thing. The only advice Id offer is to not hang on or force things. If your friends arent interested in going out then yo have to let them go, and do so with a good natured spirit, not bitterness or judgement, that doesnt help you. You have to go out into the world and create what you want. Its not a straight forward thing, and its not as easy as hanging onto your old friends and accepting the odd night out on their terms, as you say. You need to go out by yourself and create new friendships based on your passions. Explore, experiment. Go to things on your own that you feel you'd like. Just keep doing that, trust me things will start to evolve and come together for you if you are brave and willing to put yourself into situations that may scare you a little. But you have to get out there, it wont come to you. I know its a pisser, and I know it seems like everyone got lucky and won the friends lottery, and maybe they did, but thats none of your concern. Get out and create what you want. Be friendly, thats all you need to do.

Musketeer4

Maybe you could join your local Macra na Feirme club?

I found myself in Cork knowing few people outside of work so I joined macra to expand my social circle.

Best. Thing. Ever.

Such nice people, instantly made very welcome and wasn't long at all before I was one of the gang, and so many fun activities and nights out, meeting people from other clubs etc. Over the long weekend we went to the Macra National Rally in the Radisson in Limerick. It's like a conference for all the clubs across the country. Theres day tours, club awards, banquet dinner and nightly bands/DJ for 3 nights and kept going till the small hours. Unreal craic.

Contrary to some peoples stereotypes, you don't have to be a farmer's son or daughter to join. In fact, comparatively few of the events are directly related to agriculture. In my club there are polish people and even a chinese fella.
Theres sports, drama, debating, public speaking, skiiing tours, nights out, and then theres farming things like stock judging, showcase farm visits, agrifood lectures but you don't have to go to them if you've no interest. Just take your pick.

My only regret is that I didn't join sooner.