Bullying........

whattodo1

Hi everyone juat need to talk to someone as I don't know what else to do.

So my daughter is 10 and is getting hassle off a girl in her class and on her phone aswell.

(Yes I know my daugher shouldn't have one but it for the purpose of keeping in contact with her dad)

So it started with my daugher asking me for Instagram for months and I said no time and time again until I asked one of the mothers in class did her daughter have it and she said yes so I let her have it on one condition its private and is only allowed on it when im there.

So one day I was getting my other children ready for bed my daughter had her phone in her room and looked distressed so I went to check in her and thia other girl was giving her hassle and wouldn't leave her alone so I text the mother yo meet me and she said yes she would sort it she never showed up.

So I thought it had stopped but obviously not it was going on in school, now my daughter is a young 10year old of you i
Understand and this other girl.is allowed watch anything and everything and goes on like a 16 year old, anyone whos knows my daughter knows she a quiet little girl who tries to be friends with anyone I try to keep her protected from stuff as I can to keep her innocene as long as I can.

So it al came to a head friday they all sorted in school to meet in the local park now its 5 mins away and I was going to keep watch but my daughter text her little group chat she had and a few and this girl said they wernt going until 11 pm my daughter the innocent thing he is said oh i wpuldnt be allowed go at that tim, so I explained that it wasnt true etc.

So these girls were all seen at the park and this one girl who seems to manipulate the whole crowd, so my daughter asked could she message to see why they lied and got back off this one girl that she doesnt need permission off my daughter to go anywhere and a few others mean things she was so upset.

I just wrote she asked to go and there was no need to be mean ( yes I know it ahouldnt have wrote that) to a reply off a girl that is in 3rd year that my child needs to have more cop on amd practically was so rude So I wrote to the girl Id talk to her mother.

So I did and I got a message with nothing but abuse and said I bullied her daughter which im totally shocked with she even said I put posts in places about her daughter ( I have facebook and instagram where I have shared bullying pages but im not friends with this mother or that child which would be totally innapropriate)

I got another reply that its all my daughters fault my daugher is ten and doesnt need this at such a young age an especially a mother that wont cooperate about a bully Im going to the school as Ive been told by a few little girls shes doing it there aswel.

Im at a loss if my child was bullying anyone or even talked to an adult or even someone else child in that way they wouldnt see out the door.

So what im really on here for has anyone had experience on how to go about their kids being bullied I dont know what to do if the school wont help me sorry to ramble on but im so upset for my child i hate seeing her cry she was such a confident little girl now all i see is sadness.

Rubberchikken

If the bullying is happening in school the schhol has an obligation to do something about it.
Could you talk to your childs teacher first?
If this doesnt help anything, then go to the principal.
I'm sorry your daughter is experiencing this.
In a perfect world none of tjis would happen, but people can and are cruel. And spme parents do a poor job of raising their kids.

Try to also keep your child away from this girl. No social media contact ,nothing. Also dont engage with the mother. Tbh i'd be concerned that it could getcpletely out of hand and you could end up in bother.
Good luck

celligraphy

Sorry to hear op , hate bullying especially at that age when the kids are just getting to know themselves , not much advice I can give , probably sounds a bit scummy but if you have any relatives maybe a year or two older than the bully to give her a fright that works

whattodo1

I'm going to go to the teacher tommorow and see how that goes, I just so heartbreaking seeing her go through it and also that its been turned against her now, yes im not going to contact the mother again shes not a nice sort and i was thinking the same, I tried to sort it between myself and her to speak to them with no avail so the school is my last hope now.

whattodo1

celligraphy wrote: »

Sorry to hear op , hate bullying especially at that age when the kids are just getting to know themselves , not much advice I can give , probably sounds a bit scummy but if you have any relatives maybe a year or two older than the bully to give her a fright that works

Yes I was thinking that but I said wouldn't that be just as bad to whats been done to my daughter.

freshpopcorn

You need to meet with the class teacher and raise the issue with them. They can do an sphe class on the issue and she'll be able to make the staff are for everybody to keep an eye out.
It's hard enough for teachers to prove bullying is going on tough unless the bully fesses up or theirs proof. So sometimes it might take a bit of time.
I'd also take a look at blooking people who's she's having issues with online.

retro:electro

Firstly your post is extremely hard to follow I find it hard to understand what you're saying most of the time.
Secondly, and maybe I'm wrong, but I wouldn't really constitute this girls engagement with your daughter as bullying. I'm not fully understanding what happened, they said to meet at the park and then your daughter said it was too late and the other girl said I don't need permission off you? Why did you go texting her? I'd be inclined to think the way you keep texting these girls is just exacerbating any situation to be honest. Just block their numbers.

whattodo1

anna080 wrote: »

Firstly your post is extremely hard to follow I find it hard to understand what you're saying most of the time.
Secondly, and maybe I'm wrong, but I wouldn't really constitute this girls engagement with your daughter as bullying. I'm not fully understanding what happened, they said to meet at the park and then your daughter said it was too late and the other girl said I don't need permission off you? Why did you go texting her? I'd be inclined to think the way you keep texting these girls is just exacerbating any situation to be honest. Just block their numbers.

Well if you cant understand im sorry im just a little upset, I you read I did say its going on for ages and its other things that was said to her aswell, so I sould just leave my 10 year old to cry all the time and not want to go to school over someome, I don't have to explain myself when I know what's going, I don't keep texting anyone, I never said that.

lawred2

Sorry that this is happening. Kids can be horrible.

Firstly stop sending messages to these girls now. That's the height of stupidity.

Secondly get the school involved.

whattodo1

freshpopcorn wrote: »

You need to meet with the class teacher and raise the issue with them. They can do an sphe class on the issue and she'll be able to make the staff are for everybody to keep an eye out.
It's hard enough for teachers to prove bullying is going on tough unless the bully fesses up or theirs proof. So sometimes it might take a bit of time.
I'd also take a look at blooking people who's she's having issues with online.

I will be doing that tomoro ye i thought they might or could sort it through dping something in the class, it is very hard I do have proof and I will also be removing her from anything she can contact her on.

whattodo1

lawred2 wrote: »

Firstly stop sending messages to these girls now. That's the height of stupidity.

Secondly get the school involved.

Im not sending any messages to these girls I was texting the mother.

freshpopcorn

Just try and stay cam when your talking to the teacher and don't go in all guns blazing!

lawred2

whattodo1 wrote: »

Im not sending any messages to these girls I was texting the mother.

I misread then. Apologies.

whattodo1

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Just try and stay cam when your talking to the teacher and don't go in all guns blazing!

Ye I will honestly im not angry im just most upset for my daughter, I was very polite to the mum but I didnt get a nice reply myself.

retro:electro

whattodo1 wrote: »

Well if you cant understand im sorry im just a little upset, I you read I did say its going on for ages and its other things that was said to her aswell, so I sould just leave my 10 year old to cry all the time and not want to go to school over someome, I don't have to explain myself when I know what's going, I don't keep texting anyone, I never said that.

You said you text the girl in 3rd yr and threatened to tell her mother.

whattodo1

anna080 wrote: »

You said you text the girl in 3rd class and threatened to tell her mother.

If you actually read instead of assuming it was a 3rd year a 16 year old and I didn't threaten I said I was goig to text her mum, no threath nothing she was hassling my daughter aswell.

retro:electro

whattodo1 wrote: »

If you actually read instead of assuming it was a 3rd year a 16 year old and I didn't threaten I said I was goig to text her mum, no threath nothing she was hassling my daughter aswell.

I did try and read it, 3 times, it's not very clear at all. If you have an issue with these girls contact the school principal and block their numbers off your daughters phone and social media so they can no longer contact her. You're the one asking them to meet up for some bizzare reason.

whattodo1

anna080 wrote: »

I did try and read it, 3 times, it's not very clear at all. If you have an issue with these girls contact the school principal and block their numbers off your daughters phone and social media so they can no longer contact her. You're the one asking them to meet up for some bizzare reason.

Well like I said I apologie if you can't read it properly im just upset for my daughter I don't want to see her so upset, I've blocked everything for her and I will be going to the school, I asked the mother to meet up to talk about it.

celligraphy

whattodo1 wrote:

Yes I was thinking that but I said wouldn't that be just as bad to whats been done to my daughter.

I understand that op , but I had a cousin who was bullied terribly over his stutter it was by a guy 3 yaears older than him who lived across the road and also went to his school , the terror even made my uncle and aunts house a living hell by pelting the house and just shouting abuse , parents didn't give a care ... Uncle asked a cousin in a girl the same age and well she is quite wild after a meeting with her , he never bothered them again

whattodo1

celligraphy wrote: »

I understand that op , but I had a cousin who was bullied terribly over his stutter it was by a guy 3 yaears older than him who lived across the road and also went to his school , the terror even made my uncle and aunts house a living hell by pelting the house and just shouting abuse , parents didn't give a care ... Uncle asked a cousin in a girl the same age and well she is quite wild after a meeting with her , he never bothered them again

I understand that yes i'll see how the school takes it tomoro if that doesnt work ill see what else I can do thank you.