Worried and stressed

LegacyUser

Hi,
I am looking for advice here please. I was in a long term relationship that broke down over three years ago. The reasons for the breakdown were due to me not wanting to be with my partner anymore, I didn’t like the person she had become (angry, drinking excessively, aggressive, dismissive of my family and friends etc).

We have two children together, one is fully grown but still lives at home, the other is almost a teenager. Since I left I have been paying maintenance for the younger of our children and the full amount of the mortgage on the house we shared together. I’ve also moved in to another house (much smaller, it was all I could afford at the time). The oldest of the children is not currently working but still lives at home.

I have been involved in another relationship for a little over two years now and I am keen to start a afresh with my new partner. The problem is that my ex-partner has proven to be very difficult to deal with when it comes to sorting out anything to do with the house. I went to her about 2 years ago and asked her to contribute something to the mortgage (I was looking for about half of the monthly payment). The mortgage is small enough on the house, about 700Euro p/m and I made it known that the last thing I wanted to do was sell the house as it is the children’s home too but I couldn’t keep paying two full mortgages and maintenance indefinitely.

My ex-partner refused point blank to pay anything towards the mortgage. She has never paid anything in the years we lived together, we did have an arrangement around the bills/costs of running the house when we were together , she paid some I paid the others but I always paid the full mortgage because I earned more.

Two years later, I am at the stage now where this will go in front of the courts for a resolution soon. The house will more than likely be sold (I may get some of the equity, I may not, I don’t know what will happen). I will be free of the financial burden of the mortgage – the outstanding debt and the monthly payment etc. I was willing to pay half of the mortgage for another 6 years just to ensure that my youngest child had some stability until she at least finished secondary school. My ex-partner has since stopped working and basically spends all of her time in the house, she is currently on disability and has no intention of working as far as I can see. She maintains she cannot afford to pay anything towards the mortgage. I will add at this point that the house is in both our names, we applied for the mortgage together.

My problem is at this stage, I am really worried about what will happen to my two children if and when the house is sold. There will be another major upheaval on a par with what happened when I initially left (the first year was really tough on them and me). It now looks like it is all going to happen again. I don’t know what my ex-partner plans to do, I don’t trust her to do what’s best for her and the children because of past experiences of her saying one thing and doing another. I’m at the stage now where it is causing me a great deal of stress and worry. I went down the legal route because I had no other option, I tried everything from mediation to settlement meetings to try and avoid the house being sold but each option was roundly ignored by my ex-partner. With the way housing situation and rental prices the way they are in the country at the moment, I just see a whole pile of trouble and heartache down the line for my youngest child if and when the house she lives in is sold. She can always come and stay with me but I don’t think this is something her mother will ever allow or entertain. I just don’t know what to do next