Who should pay?

recipesforme · 17-10-2016 2:05pm #1

Hi all,

4 months ago we received an email from our venue saying "here is the menu for the wedding, it includes canpaes and midnight snack"

We tasted the menu, thought it was lovely. happy days.

Now the the venue owner has gotten on to us saying he didn't realise the quote he'd received from the caterers didn't include canapes and midnight food and wants us to cover the outstanding.

Given the content of the email we presumed that it was all included. We haven't budgeted for extra food. It's less than a month to the wedding and we haven't a bean left.

The venue owner says it's up to us to pay but I feel that, given it was his error he should cover it. Am I right or should we be billed for it?

GingerLily · 17-10-2016 2:24pm

What is in your contract?

Toots · 17-10-2016 2:31pm

What's in your contract? It's a tough one to call, but I wonder would it be worth seeing can ye go 50/50 on it?

recipesforme · 17-10-2016 2:31pm

It's a little complicated. We're renting the venue. The owner is sourcing the caterer for us.

We agreed a price to include the catering, so it's all a kind of job lot.

This was the first we'd heard about the caterers he'd selected and when he said canapes and snack were included we naturally assumed that's what was meant.

He's admitted it's his mistake so i don't see why we should have to cover the costs. If the error was on our side of course we'd be the ones to pay

LirW · 17-10-2016 5:05pm

4 months ago we received an email from our venue saying "here is the menu for the wedding, it includes canpaes and midnight snack"

I think with just a month away I'd talk to him relying on that. Also make sure what the contract says.
I probably also wouldn't see why I have to carry the costs of a mistake the venue made by giving you false information. If he is insisting on you paying for it, I'd probably at least try to make a deal splitting the costs since the mistake is not on you.

GingerLily · 17-10-2016 5:17pm

Who is your contract with for the food? Who did you pay the deposit for the catering to?

recipesforme · 17-10-2016 6:29pm

The contract is with the venue owner. He engaged the services of these caterers on our behalf,

Mango Joe · 17-10-2016 6:47pm

Definitely I think the honest hard working man that made a simple mistake during his busy day should pay for all your drunk friends and fat aunts and uncles to stuff their round faces again a mere couple of hours after their 4 course dinner.

What is it about runaway wedding entitlement that make people lose all perspective in life?????????

Jesus wept.

LirW · 17-10-2016 7:01pm

Mango Joe wrote: »

Definitely I think the honest hard working man that made a simple mistake during his busy day should pay for all your drunk friends and fat aunts and uncles to stuff their round faces again a mere couple of hours after their 4 course dinner.

What is it about runaway wedding entitlement that make people lose all perspective in life?????????

Jesus wept.

Well depending on how much they charge for these extras and the number of guests this can add up to an unholy amount of money. I do understand that the owner made a mistake there, but it's also that the bridal couple counted on that, therefore they did not bother calculating that in. And this is not a mistake that is going to cost you an extra tenner or so. Especially since the bridal couple planned well within their budget and there isn't any left for that a month before the wedding.

I agree, it's a difficult situation minding it's just a month to go. The cheapest solution of course would be just skipping both parts since there is no budget.

To be honest OP: I do not want to be in your skin right now and I hope you'll find a good solution! All the best with it (I don't know the number of guests but I did the numbers on how that adds up... ughhh)

December2012 · 17-10-2016 7:09pm

Don't have the canap s or midnight food. Don't pay for them. Simples

peteb2 · 17-10-2016 7:22pm

Mango Joe wrote:

Definitely I think the honest hard working man that made a simple mistake during his busy day should pay for all your drunk friends and fat aunts and uncles to stuff their round faces again a mere couple of hours after their 4 course dinner.

You mean the honest hard working man that charged them a fee for the hire of his venue? He didn't give it to them for free! So there is really no need to be such a pompous arse. It's not like he purchased a venue as a sideline gig.

When I got married 6 years ago hotels were undercutting ones down the road from each other. Ours agreed some things . We got it in writing. Manager was a bit **** and got moved on. Two weeks before wedding and we met hotel wedding planner and she said "do you need x and y". We said no it's included. And she said we normally charge x fo4 that. And our answer was well I have it in writing here. My point being a deal is a deal.

GingerLily · 17-10-2016 7:45pm

recipesforme wrote: »

The contract is with the venue owner. He engaged the services of these caterers on our behalf,

So what is in your contract re: catering?

Tigger · 17-10-2016 7:54pm

get a quote for a different caterer and if its better tell the first cater to beat it or forget it.
the venue is probably getting a kickback on the caterer so between them they can match what you want

but don't bluff; get a quote that you can fall back on so you are negotiating from a postition of strength

recipesforme · 17-10-2016 7:55pm

It says that the venue would engage a caterer on our behalf. We never got anymore detail until a few months ago when we got an email to say "here's the menu from the caterer, canapes and midnight food included - hope you like it!"

I suppose we should have gotten the finer details locked down earlier but once we saw the canapes and midnight food were included we didn't give it a second thought

Tigger · 17-10-2016 7:59pm

recipesforme wrote: »

It says that the venue would engage a caterer on our behalf. We never got anymore detail until a few months ago when we got an email to say "here's the menu from the caterer, canapes and midnight food included - hope you like it!"

I suppose we should have gotten the finer details locked down earlier but once we saw the canapes and midnight food were included we didn't give it a second thought

you could do what my mate did
have the wedding and stay on an extra day and when it comes to the paying tell them this is what we agreed before you decided to move the goalposts, if you want more then sue me.

Mad Benny · 17-10-2016 8:14pm

Mango Joe wrote: »

Definitely I think the honest hard working man that made a simple mistake during his busy day should pay for all your drunk friends and fat aunts and uncles to stuff their round faces again a mere couple of hours after their 4 course dinner.

What is it about runaway wedding entitlement that make people lose all perspective in life?????????

Jesus wept.

You need counselling

eviltwin · 17-10-2016 8:16pm

Tigger wrote: »

you could do what my mate did
have the wedding and stay on an extra day and when it comes to the paying tell them this is what we agreed before you decided to move the goalposts, if you want more then sue me.

Why would you recommend something like that??

Guy made a genuine error but should meet the op half way or just don't have the extra food.

Tigger · 17-10-2016 8:28pm

eviltwin wrote: »

Why would you recommend something like that??

Guy made a genuine error but should meet the op half way or just don't have the extra food.

i didn't recommend it, i recommended that they got alternate quotes and if they were more competitive to use them as a position to negotiate from.

i added it as an story of how my mate dealt with a similar situation.

Dardania · 17-10-2016 8:33pm

recipesforme wrote: »

It says that the venue would engage a caterer on our behalf. We never got anymore detail until a few months ago when we got an email to say "here's the menu from the caterer, canapes and midnight food included - hope you like it!"

I suppose we should have gotten the finer details locked down earlier but once we saw the canapes and midnight food were included we didn't give it a second thought

I can interpret your quote there one of two ways - are you strong in interpreting that the menu was included (in the email as an attachment) or can you interpret the menu, with the midnight & canapies as being what was offered to you as the complete menu?

To be honest, it sounds a little like the venue pulling a fast one, with you as a captive audience...

Reati · 17-10-2016 8:56pm

Maybe I'm too logical but you either have a contract or you don't.

If you do, is the extra food included? If yes, then send him a copy and a friendly emailing saying it was agreed as such and you don't expect a bill.

If it's not included in the contract, then you can either pay the extra or ask to have it removed from the evening as you were lead to understand it was included and you didn't budget for it.

Lastly, the whole "he made a simple mistake". This is true but welcome to the world of business. You make a mistake and you normally bear the cost. There are few businesses that take "I made a simple mistake" as a reason not to be paid for a service, so it's not a reason for this guy, if it was promised in the contract, to back out of his part of the deal.

Very simple stuff here folks. Get it closed out and get on with the excitement of your wedding.

Magicmatilda · 18-10-2016 4:11pm

recipesforme wrote: »

"here is the menu for the wedding, it includes canpaes and midnight snack"

?

Honestly to me that sounds like the menu for the midnights snacks and canapes are included in the email along with the dinner menu as opposed to the cost being included.

Was the menu a set menu or did you choose certain choices? Also when you tasted the menu did the tasting include a sample of the canapé and midnight snack included?

When was the cost of the food agreed?

Did that agreement set out what was being paid for?

I just find that quote could be read either of two ways.

Atomic Pineapple · 18-10-2016 5:31pm

Magicmatilda wrote: »

Honestly to me that sounds like the menu for the midnights snacks and canapes are included in the email along with the dinner menu as opposed to the cost being included.

Same here, if the wording is correct it sounds like the OP read it wrong.

As others have said check your contract if it states that the food is included then you're fine to push back and get it included if it doesn't then you're only option is to pay up if you want the extra food. Since the owner has said they are somewhat responsible you could try to get it at a discounted price.

Milly33 · 18-10-2016 7:13pm

I would be sticking to your guns or perhaps say you would meet them half way. I would also find it strange that he is saying it so late, and i would be asking him for the cateerers contact details to go through it with them. It could have been a mistake also on the cateerers side.. Which ye shouldnt take the blame for either..

recipesforme · 19-10-2016 9:41am

The venue admitted the mistake was on their side and were very apologetic. For the sake of things running smoothly we're going 50/50 on the cost of the canapes and cancelling the midnight snack.
I'll admit I'm a bit disappointed in how we came to this. They really they could have verified with the caterer before now with only weeks to the wedding and it's kind of just been left up to us to deal with. Had we known earlier we could have trimmed some money from elsewhere to cover costs. As it stands there's nothing in the pot, mainly because we've given the venue the equivalent of deposit for a house!
But anyway, we've reached an agreement and it's not what we were hoping for but it'll have to do :rolleyes:

Faith · 19-10-2016 10:15am

Could you do a DIY evening food thing, like just buy sliced pans, butter and packets of crisps? People are only eating at that point because they've been drinking, and they don't need anything fancy.

Milly33 · 19-10-2016 10:19am

Glad ye have reached and arement OP but i would most defo be asking for the cateerers contact, just for yer own piece of mind i would be asking to see the contract for one, what they are supplying and two at what cost. I was thinking about this last night and find it very odd that they owner would not have known this. If he is used to dealings like this and also he must have used the cateerer before also.. While i like to think the best of people always, sometimes people are not the best so get a copy of that contract to keep yer mind at ease

recipesforme · 19-10-2016 10:41am

@Faith -

that's exactly what we plan on doing! A bit of soakage and refuelling for those who need it. People would eat most things at that time of the night

@Milly33 - You're right. I'm going to look into it. I like to think it's an honest mistake but this isn't the first time with this venue that there have been a few "details" where we've been asked to make exceptions/pay for for something we didn't ask for etc.

Milly33 · 19-10-2016 10:49am

Really!! Sorry to hear OP... Do get as much info as you can and that why then you have back up and you can say well written here it says this and this.. If it was their first time doing something like this, then fine room for error but if not then there is no way they dont know what they are doing.. Best of luck with it anywho I hope everything else is running smoothly and remember even if it doesnt try not to think about it too much, although it is a bit of a kick in the teeth ye will be the only ones to notice... enjoy every moment of the day yerselfs, thats the most important thing

recipesforme · 19-10-2016 11:00am

Thanks Milly33! It's really nice to hear.
It's so easy to get caught up in this kind of detail and forget what's important. Especially when you have the very unpleasant comments from Mangojoe calling my relatives fat and my friends drunkards!
I'll just get stocked up on the bread and crisps and hope for the best

missmatty · 19-10-2016 11:50am

Just set up a Tayto snack table with bread and crisps for sandwiches. We dropped in to our venue to sign the contract one morning lately and the people getting married the day before had done that

LirW · 19-10-2016 12:16pm

If you have any passionate hobby cooks or so in your family, maybe reach out to them explaining the change of plans and ask if they'd be helping with contributing a little something to a DIY- midnight buffet (like pigs in a blanket or so). I think it's reasonable to skip this food rather than the canaps. And since people eat almost anything at that point anyway, doesn't matter too much.

GingerLily · 19-10-2016 1:43pm

Might be tough/unwise to ask guests to make hot food

recipesforme · 19-10-2016 3:08pm

We've just ordered a few wheels of cheese from Supervalu and we're going to pick up some crackers, loaves and salamis from Lidl. It won't come to more than 150 so we won't be tooooo out of pocket (all things being relative!).

Thanks so much for all the suggestions!

GingerLily · 19-10-2016 3:15pm

I LOVE cheese when I've been drinking, good call!!!

recipesforme · 19-10-2016 3:17pm

There is no finer food on this Earth!

LirW · 19-10-2016 3:19pm

I'm sold, can I come? (I'm pregnant and I'd kill for some salami)

recipesforme · 19-10-2016 3:21pm

Sure why not?! Who am I to come between a pregnant woman and her salami

GirlOutWest · 19-10-2016 4:11pm

Good that you are not allowing the minor mishap (owing to the venue's error in catering arrangements) spoil the big day.

Good luck to you & yours - Hope you have a wonderful day (and of course lifetime together)

For what's worth...you can't go wrong with cheese & crackers!

Reati · 19-10-2016 8:30pm

recipesforme wrote: »

The venue admitted the mistake was on their side and were very apologetic. For the sake of things running smoothly we're going 50/50 on the cost of the canapes and cancelling the midnight snack.
I'll admit I'm a bit disappointed in how we came to this. They really they could have verified with the caterer before now with only weeks to the wedding and it's kind of just been left up to us to deal with. Had we known earlier we could have trimmed some money from elsewhere to cover costs. As it stands there's nothing in the pot, mainly because we've given the venue the equivalent of deposit for a house!
But anyway, we've reached an agreement and it's not what we were hoping for but it'll have to do :rolleyes:

Ah seriously, they admitted they were in the wrong, were apologetic and yet you still paid 50% of their mistake and lost one aspect night food. Sorry to be blunt but you've been had. It'll only have to do because you accepted it :rolleyes:

Out of my curiosity, why are you so worried about covering the costs of their mistake. You claim you were going to make cuts to your day because they made a mistake if you had known earlier. Is this person providing the service a friend or something?

recipesforme · 19-10-2016 9:22pm

Reati wrote: »

Ah seriously, they admitted they were in the wrong, were apologetic and yet you still paid 50% of their mistake and lost one aspect night food. Sorry to be blunt but you've been had. It'll only have to do because you accepted it :rolleyes:

Out of my curiosity, why are you so worried about covering the costs of their mistake. You claim you were going to make cuts to your day because they made a mistake if you had known earlier. Is this person providing the service a friend or something?

At this stage, Reati, I don't want a fight. I have enough to be thinking about. If meeting them half way on what, I hope, is an honest mistake then so be it. I may be the fool financially but at the end of the day, if it means that I'm not a wreck emotionally, then so be it. It's costing us 350 extra and we'll make our peace with that. Some things are worth more than the money.

Who should pay?

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