Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Should I ask out friend?

  • 15-10-2016 11:06am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, am 20 and here goes... Long story short, I made a group of friends from my old job and in the group there's a girl who I fancy a lot. We all go to the same college so since work we don't really see each other often.

    She is always on my mind and obviously with work I wasn't going to do anything. While she's a good friend, I don't see her much now so I guess I wouldn't have much to lose if I asked her on a date,or do I?

    First of all, and the most obvious, I fear breaking our friendship which I do value. Secondly, I fear I may alienate our other work friends and I don't want that to happen. Lastly, I am scared of rejection but am also unsure if I really want this. I have gotten to know her really well, but i am not that experienced with girls, so are these "feelings" just a product of infatuation and am I only liking her because there is no one else, or do I want her in my life as more than a friend.

    I'm confused and stressed. She's on my mind all the time. Does anyone have advice? Thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Since you're not sure how you feel about her, but she's on your mind every day, maybe don't dive in to asking her out and instead try to spend a little more time with her, maybe in a group or through some common interest. Get to know her a little more, then see if asking her out seems like a great idea or maintaining a friendship seems like a better one. And don't be stressing about it, this shouldn't be a stressful thing and if you want yourself getting het up about this, or anything else, talk to someone close to you instead of letting it wreck your head.


  • #3
    Rekop dog
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,584 ✭✭✭Rekop dog


    That's all a little intense mate. Just ask her if she'd like to grab a drink sometime, and see how it goes if she accepts. Over analysing will only make you nervous and uptight if you do meet. Keep it casual for a bit and gauge your compatibility, and then take it from there. Good luck.


  • #4
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    Ask her out. If she says yes, great. If she says no, and is odd with you, then she's not much of a friend ! Most girls are OK about it in my experience though.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Guessed wrote: »
    Since you're not sure how you feel about her, but she's on your mind every day, maybe don't dive in to asking her out and instead try to spend a little more time with her, maybe in a group or through some common interest. Get to know her a little more, then see if asking her out seems like a great idea or maintaining a friendship seems like a better one. And don't be stressing about it, this shouldn't be a stressful thing and if you want yourself getting het up about this, or anything else, talk to someone close to you instead of letting it wreck your head.

    I feel like I do know her well enough, it's just that I don't have many female friends, so I'm unsure if I fancy her or if I'm lusting after what I can get if that makes sense. I feel like if I don't do something I'll regret it. She know about some of my problems/flaws so I worry that she will reject me because of them. She knows I'm not that experienced either which may be a turn-off.

    As shallow as this sounds, I may just crave having a female in my life one way or another. I love her laugh and her feminine qualities, which to be frank, I don't really experience much. Granted, I don't see her much now because of college, but I don't want to lose her friendship


Advertisement