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Should I ask out friend?

  • 15-10-2016 11:06AM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, am 20 and here goes... Long story short, I made a group of friends from my old job and in the group there's a girl who I fancy a lot. We all go to the same college so since work we don't really see each other often.

    She is always on my mind and obviously with work I wasn't going to do anything. While she's a good friend, I don't see her much now so I guess I wouldn't have much to lose if I asked her on a date,or do I?

    First of all, and the most obvious, I fear breaking our friendship which I do value. Secondly, I fear I may alienate our other work friends and I don't want that to happen. Lastly, I am scared of rejection but am also unsure if I really want this. I have gotten to know her really well, but i am not that experienced with girls, so are these "feelings" just a product of infatuation and am I only liking her because there is no one else, or do I want her in my life as more than a friend.

    I'm confused and stressed. She's on my mind all the time. Does anyone have advice? Thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Since you're not sure how you feel about her, but she's on your mind every day, maybe don't dive in to asking her out and instead try to spend a little more time with her, maybe in a group or through some common interest. Get to know her a little more, then see if asking her out seems like a great idea or maintaining a friendship seems like a better one. And don't be stressing about it, this shouldn't be a stressful thing and if you want yourself getting het up about this, or anything else, talk to someone close to you instead of letting it wreck your head.


  • #3
    Rekop dog
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,584 ✭✭✭Rekop dog


    That's all a little intense mate. Just ask her if she'd like to grab a drink sometime, and see how it goes if she accepts. Over analysing will only make you nervous and uptight if you do meet. Keep it casual for a bit and gauge your compatibility, and then take it from there. Good luck.


  • #4
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    Ask her out. If she says yes, great. If she says no, and is odd with you, then she's not much of a friend ! Most girls are OK about it in my experience though.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Guessed wrote: »
    Since you're not sure how you feel about her, but she's on your mind every day, maybe don't dive in to asking her out and instead try to spend a little more time with her, maybe in a group or through some common interest. Get to know her a little more, then see if asking her out seems like a great idea or maintaining a friendship seems like a better one. And don't be stressing about it, this shouldn't be a stressful thing and if you want yourself getting het up about this, or anything else, talk to someone close to you instead of letting it wreck your head.

    I feel like I do know her well enough, it's just that I don't have many female friends, so I'm unsure if I fancy her or if I'm lusting after what I can get if that makes sense. I feel like if I don't do something I'll regret it. She know about some of my problems/flaws so I worry that she will reject me because of them. She knows I'm not that experienced either which may be a turn-off.

    As shallow as this sounds, I may just crave having a female in my life one way or another. I love her laugh and her feminine qualities, which to be frank, I don't really experience much. Granted, I don't see her much now because of college, but I don't want to lose her friendship


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