How to ask for a contribution fee?

LegacyUser

I don't get paid a lot and I can't afford rent with what I do get paid weekly and so I'm living at home.

Some people might think - oh, an adult living at home, they must be getting a free ride - with free bills and free food and a maid to clean up after them. That's not the case at all with me. When bills come in I pay my share. I do my own grocery shop and tidy up after myself and other bits and pieces. Sometimes when the money is good I would do an online grocery shop getting a lot of the household supplies like washing powder and toilet paper, etc. Recently there were new bin regulations and I took on that for the family home with my mam chipping in half.

So anyways there is three of us at home. Me, my brother and my mam.

Recently there's been a new expense within the family. The family dog wasn't well. I could see the dog was so sore. I don't have a lot of money but I made an appointment with the vet for the dog. My mam gave out to me and she was ranting at me for making an appointment with the vet. God knows what she was ranting about, I wasn't really listening because when she's in that mood she doesn't make sense. Anyways she wanted me to cancel the appointment. I refused and said - 'look it, I will cover the vet bill myself'.
If it was up to my mam the dog wouldn't have been seen to and they (mam and brother) would have been more than happy to leave the dog in pain.

Anyways I took the dog to the vet and the dog was diagnosed was two conditions. She's an older dog and will need daily medication long term and a new diet food. I was more than happy to over these costs - the vet consultation, the meds for a week, the continuation of medicine (a month's supply), new food, etc. The dog is showing an improvement but she will need this extra care long term.

Going forward I won't be able to manage this monthly. I could do it maybe but it will be very, very tight. The medication alone will be 40% of one weeks income for me. This isn't just my dog, it's the family's dog. I would like to ask my mother and brother for a contribution fee towards these costs. Ideally pay 3 ways for the medication and the food. The ESB bill came in a few weeks ago and I paid 40 euro of my half but since then the vet and dog needs has taken over and I'm having trouble at finding 30 quid to pay the remainder of my bit and it will be another two weeks down the line before I can pay. Not once did my mam say - well ok, you paid the vet and medications etc, how about the two cancels each other out.

How will I go about asking them? I suspect I might come up to a brick wall and it may not go very well and they will be more than happy to leave this expense on my back. Especially initially my mother would have been more than happy not to take the dog to the vet. Sometimes she goes into a mood and senseless rants and I suspect she might turn around and tell me to go fcuk myself - 'you took the dog to the vet, it's on you'. Even a 10 or 15 euro contribution fee each would be a huge help.

Loveinapril

You said you would cover the vet fees alone so I think you have to follow through with that commitment now. Have you spoken to the vet about using cheaper meds or looking into a payment plan to ease the burden? Can you contact Blue Cross or any other animal charity for cheaper vet appointments? Obviously you will still be contributing to your share of things at home but if you are asked to contribute more, then say you can't due to the financial commitment to your dog's health care.

Snugglebunnies

I don't have any advice for you regarding asking for a contribution, but you were 100% right to get the dog to the vet and sort the medication. I don't know how anyone could just sit and leave an animal in pain, shame on them.

njs030

Contact your local rescue and explain your financial situation they usually have a relationship with vets and might be able to help you get the meds cheaper.

Teyla Emmagan

Ongoing medication everyone should pay for. I suppose you could say the initial vet fees were "on you". Seems terribly unfair everyone wouldn't chip in, what will the poor dog do otherwise?

pookie82

Has this dog been in the family for years? Is he/she regarded as a beloved pet or just a piece of the furniture? Insanely cruel to imagine they'd prefer it be left in pain than pay for it.

It's well advertised that owning a pet will come with costs, some basic, some not so basic, especially as they get older.

I think you're going to have to spell out that if they refuse to help you carry this long term expense, the dog faces re-homing to a shelter where it will get the care it needs, or being put down. If they blame you for bringing it to the vet in the first place, state that you did (and were happy to) cover that cost, but the ongoing changes need to be everyone's issue. It's that, or the dog goes. Leaving it in pain is out of the question.

If that doesn't make them respond, then you really are living with some very callous people. Good suggestion above about checking if local rescue can help with an expense, also.