Abortion Advice

daveshere

Hi,

I'm wondering has anyone gone through the process of going to England and having an abortion? Advice, overall cost (flights etc too), what your and your partners feelings were and did you tell any loved one's about it?

Also, did the abortion pill cause much pain if this was the route you took?

Asking for advice and help, not a debate or slating, thank you..

Hi, I have gone to England with 2 friends, at different stages of pregnancy.
One rang a clinic direct, from the internet, we went over, she was able to take the tablet. She was in the clinic for only a short while, couple of hours, then we had to hang around for ages till the flight back. She was uncomfortable & just wanted to be home, but it was an easy enough process.
The other was a little further along & had to get a ' proper' abortion, she went in in the morning, they knew where she was from so she had to stay overnight. We left early the next day. She wasn't in great form. Imagine travelling with a very bad period, cramps etc.
She went through a clinic in Dublin.
The first one probably cost less than 300 if I remember right.
The second was more expensive, probably around 5 or 6 hundred.
Both those figures involved travel expenses though.
Best of luck, you will be fine.

amdublin

Sorry I've no direct experience. Just wanted to say good luck and look after yourself whatever you choose to do (be kind to you, whatever choice you make).

eviltwin

I had a surgical abortion a number of years ago. It cost about a grand including flights and accommodation. I contacted the clinic directly. My husband came with me and was a huge support. I cannot fathom anyone going over alone. We were both in complete agreement. We didn't tell anyone at the time but our family and friends know now and some people reacted badly but it's been mostly positive. Physically it was fine but very hard travelling in that condition especially after a general anaesthetic. The after care here is terrible. I was advised to have a check up six weeks later which is free from a family planning centre but there was a few weeks waiting list. Emotionally it's been fine but I was completely sure of my decision. Best of luck whatever you do.

Kazza16

Sorry to hear you are going through this OP. It is a horrible time.

My partner and I confided in my sister and she was a great support, she loaned us the money and booked our flights. We went to the Marie Stopes clinic in Dublin first and then called a clinic in the UK to book. It cost about €700 for flights and procedure.

Our relationship was in the very early stages, we were in our early twenties and had plans of going abroad to further our careers. We didn’t communicate very well and my head said I had to have an abortion but my heart said that I couldn’t. I assumed that if I went through with the pregnancy I would eventually end up being a single mother but also if I went through with the abortion we would end up breaking up anyway. This was the rollercoaster in my head at the time!! My poor partner couldn’t say or do anything to put me at ease.

In the end I didn’t go through with it which was the right decision for us. We are now married with 2 great kids.

Just remember that whatever you decide WILL BE the right decision for you.

Best of luck OP!

LegacyUser

It's not an easy choice to make. Even when you say you are going to do it, it is so hard to take that actual step. The whole thing from start to finish nearly broke me, and still the memory scar is there. I'm definitely not trying to put you off it, you just need to know what is involved.

I didn't use Marie Stopes, and I won't go into it. The cost, the journey involved.. as if the whole thing isn't traumatising enough. I was very early in pregnancy, so you would think it was easier - it's not.

I took my pills in the morning time. It was recommended that I should be a short commuting distance from a hospital, I was. (This is why Marie Stopes would want you nearby after taking your pills, in case you need attention.)

Within the hour I felt contractions so strong I nearly passed out with the pain. My other half rushed me to the hospital where the contractions eased off. I was kept in until I passed the sac. I didn't mention the pills, so nobody treated me any different than someone who had miscarried.

It's not something I want to experience ever again in my life. Counselling is recommended after abortions to help you process what has happened and deal with your choice. I never went. Maybe I should have but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

My reason was that it was the wrong time, and the cost of raising another child was unthinkable. The only person I told was my sister, who had an abortion at Marie Stopes a couple of months after giving birth. She is still messed up over it, but it was more so her ex that pushed her to do it. That's a whole other story.

frostyjacks

Don't forget to explore all your options before making a decision. Sites like cura.ie offer helpful and impartial advice.

I've heard lots of horror stories from women who've been sold an abortion like it was a painless, routine procedure, when it's anything but. Just don't rush into anything that you will end up regretting later on in life.

afkasurfjunkie

frostyjacks wrote: »

Don't forget to explore all your options before making a decision. Sites like cura.ie offer helpful and impartial advice.

I've heard lots of horror stories from women who've been sold an abortion like it was a painless, routine procedure, when it's anything but. Just don't rush into anything that you will end up regretting later on in life.

Best advice I got was make your decision based on your current circumstances. Not how you will be in 5/10 years time. Nobody sells you an abortion. It's a decision you have to make for yourself. If it's the right decision for you, relief will be your overwhelming emotion. Don't let anybody make you feel guilty for it.

Cocolola

frostyjacks wrote: »

Don't forget to explore all your options before making a decision. Sites like cura.ie offer helpful and impartial advice.

Not true - CURA is a catholic agency and is not somewhere I'd recommend someone go to if it's impartial advice they are looking for. Or any advice for that matter.

njs030

frostyjacks wrote: »

Don't forget to explore all your options before making a decision. Sites like cura.ie offer helpful and impartial advice.

I've heard lots of horror stories from women who've been sold an abortion like it was a painless, routine procedure, when it's anything but. Just don't rush into anything that you will end up regretting later on in life.

That's not helpful and exactly what the op asked people NOT to do. I doubt very much you're heard "lots" of horror stories personally, if you do know horror stories you've deliberately gone searching for them.

Op I'm English where abortion is legal and people don't judge, I have personal knowledge of women who've had them and it is almost always a painless routine procedure if you need to go the surgical route. Others have given you great advice about the tablet and cost.
Afterwards it's crampy and feels like a bad period from what I've been told. Do get counselling afterwards though and don't let anyone make you feel bad- you're here now and your life matters.

Do what's right for you and your life. Wishing you the best x

dudara

Posters - a gentle reminder to stay on topic and focus on offering advice to the OP

dudara

fima

Hi, I cant offer advice regarding cost or the procedure, the only thing that worries me greatly is the aftercare. Two friends had to travel for abortions and what they experienced afterwards sounds like a living nightmare for a young/not so young couple to deal with. I'm talking about the physical affects such as the pain, bleeding and cramps. It sounds truly traumatic to have to endure in a lonely hotel/b&b far from home. So my only advice is to try to be well set up in that regard and know what to expect as much as possible. Best of luck x

Laghan

I had an abortion 3 weeks ago, I was 9 weeks pregnant. Although we both definitely want kids in the future, now isn't the right time for us. I always said that if it happened I would have an abortion without thought, but it was such an emotional time and the decision wasn't an easy one. The only person we told was my brother who was very supportive of us. I was afraid to tell anyone else because of the stigma attached to it.

Although it was a horrible decision to have to make, it was the right one for us and I don't regret it. We have so much we want to do and accomplish before bringing kids into the picture. I hope you make the decision that is right for you - good luck xxx

frostyjacks

notjustsweet wrote: »

That's not helpful and exactly what the op asked people NOT to do. I doubt very much you're heard "lots" of horror stories personally, if you do know horror stories you've deliberately gone searching for them.

Op I'm English where abortion is legal and people don't judge, I have personal knowledge of women who've had them and it is almost always a painless routine procedure if you need to go the surgical route. Others have given you great advice about the tablet and cost.
Afterwards it's crampy and feels like a bad period from what I've been told. Do get counselling afterwards though and don't let anyone make you feel bad- you're here now and your life matters.

Do what's right for you and your life. Wishing you the best x

No, it was a friend of a friend who got pregnant from an affair. I guess her partner pressured her into an abortion, not wanting to raise another man's child. She already had three sons, and she always wanted a daughter, and she had a feeling in her bones that this baby was the little girl she'd been waiting for, but it wasn't to be. She went on her own and said it was horrific, and every time she gets drunk she says it was the biggest mistake of her life. I don't think she'll ever recover from it.

frostyjacks

frostyjacks wrote: »

No, it was a friend of a friend who got pregnant from an affair. I guess her partner pressured her into an abortion, not wanting to raise another man's child. She already had three sons, and she always wanted a daughter, and she had a feeling in her bones that this baby was the little girl she'd been waiting for, but it wasn't to be. She went on her own and said it was horrific, and every time she gets drunk she says it was the biggest mistake of her life. I don't think she'll ever recover from it.

I think it's more than the abortion affecting her.
She needs counseling

dudara

Posters - A final reminder. Please focus on offering advice to the OP. Anything else will be deleted and/or actioned.

dudara

eviltwin

<SNIP - OFF TOPIC PART REMOVED>

OP if you are worried about this aspect its worth noting that most women who have abortions that they have chosen to do without coercion do not experience regret. Those who do tend to be women who wanted the baby but felt pressured to have the abortion due to circumstance or the influence of others.

It is a big decision though so if you are still debating contact Positive Options and talk it through with a trained, impartial counsellor.

LegacyUser

Hi Dave,

I had a surgical abortion last year, decided against taking the pills as I heard the cramps were awful and I didn't want to see anything being passed. I went to the Irish Family Planning Clinic in Dublin and they went through some options with me. I eventually booked BPAS myself. You don't have to pay a consultation fee in the abortion clinic if you visit the IFPC here first. Flew from Dublin to Heathrow one Saturday morning on the earliest flight. Then got the train to Richmond station (I think) then got a taxi to the clinic from there, less than 10 mins. It was the Twickenham Station. We were in the clinic by 8am. There was a few protesters outside! Got to the clinic and they did a scan and took bloods. Then we were called upstairs to another waiting room, we were seen by another doc and then paid the fees. I think we paid nearly €600 but that's because I decided to get the coil in at the same time. We waited around all day I don't think I was seen until about 2 o clock and I had to fast all day. The procedure itself doesn't take too long. After the op you are brought to a recovery room where there are a few other girls, they then bring you to another room with seats and your clothes (I brought a nightdress with me and slippers). After a few mins I got changed back into my own clothes and out into this area that I can only describe as a canteen, they insist on you having something to eat before you leave. I was in a rush to get back to the airport I think we left at 4. Got a taxi back to the train station, and off to the airport. I just felt slight discomfort. I got some paracetamol with codine in the airport. I will admit that I did have bad cramping for a few weeks after and I went to a local doctor for an examination after 6 weeks (local doc was recommended by the IFPC and was free of charge). The doc said that my bad cramping was probably from the coil. I went back to work on the Monday. That was almost 2 years ago and I don't regret it at all. If you want to know anything else just ask.