28 is too old to start anew

LegacyUser

Hi guys, gonna keep this a little vague for the sake of anonymity, so I'm sorry if that irritates people.

The title of this thread is what a friend said to me when I opened up to him about something that's been depressing me a bit.

I'm not happy with where I am in life right now (living at home, single, in a low skilled job that's just a payslip to me really, I have very few friends and my beloved sister has emigrated). I feel very lost in life and have no sense of direction.

So I figured I should start to take some action to change my situation, so in recent weeks I've taken up old hobbies and trying out new ones too. I'm researching other lines of work and tentatively looking into travel/emigrating as well considering some sort of career guidance.

When I said all this to my friend last weekend he rolled his eyes and said things like I need to "stop arsing about" "28 is too old for this sh*t" "life isn't like some american movie where you're trying to find yourself, you shoulda done that at 18/19 "

Granted he was on his 3rd pint at this point, but he seemed genuinely annoyed about what I was doing. I'm a pretty anxious person by nature and I deal poorly with confrontation, so this all really through me off guard. I kinda just ended the conversation there, and in turn didn't really justify why I'm doing all this...it's really been f*cking with my head since then.

He's made some decent points I guess, although expressed in a pretty bent way, but points nonetheless. I thought what I've been doing lately was mature and positive, but he has me really question myself now.

Yeah, it's probably responsible to stick at what I'm doing and work my way up the pay scale, but is it really worth it when everyday I'm feeling so broken and hollow? I don't have kids, a mortgage or any real responsibilities, so I thought I could use that to my advantage as much as possible and try grow from doing things that are outside my comfort zone...or maybe that's just naive.

Honestly, my heads all over the place and I feel even more lost than I did before I started all this

Eimee90

First thing, ignore your friend, chalk it down to drink. Now the important but, what would you love to do and how do you do it? Job wise, is it a case of returning to college , doing a course to get into a new career. Friends: get out there and meet people, a few friends is better than many. Relationships come with all the above, you can't force it. You can however change what you do in life

LegacyUser

28 is not to old to start to change things to make you happy. The only time it's too late is when your six foot under. I know two people in the past few years who went back to college to do some thing they wanted to do. One is your same position as you no kids no ties. One closer to 40 two small kids and on her own (great woman 😊) You get one life and it's way too short to not to try to bring happiness to it. If you want to go around the world to try some new do. If you want to retrain do. If you want to change your life do don't listen to people it's your life. Go and be happy. I also know it's not easy but what do you have to lose.

cactusgal

Seriously, what a sh*t friend. He sounds like he's projecting his unhappiness with his lot onto you and trying to drag you down with him. Don't let him do that.

28 is young. Really young. In fact, you're the youngest you'll ever be, so the sky's the limit!

My mother came from a very traditional country family and joined the convent at a very young age. She left the convent at age 31, emigrated, got an education, a full time job, got married, and had two kids before age 40. If an ex nun with no savings and very little experience of the outside world can do that at age 31 (in the 1960s/70s), you can do it, too!

But you need to surround yourself with positive, encouraging people who want you to succeed. This guy isn't it.

mvt

well,I left Ireland at 23 to live in the US,stayed for 16 years & during that time saw folk of all ages take the same trip.
The oldest iirc were a couple in their '50's so I'd say your friend is not really one to listen to.
But enough about him,this is the only life you are going to live so go for it

Senna

I was 35, married with a child, dog, mortgage etc etc. Left a very well paying job, went back to college, now I'm 5 month into a new career, starting at the bottom, couldn't be happier. I still had 30+ years of work to come, no point staying on in something if it doesn't make you happy.

You are never too old to change something in your life that is not working.

Jenneke87

Op, you're 28, there really is no better time to start changing your life. A lot of people are coasting along and by the time they're 45-50 realised they're not at all happy in life and start looking for a change, and usually wish they had done so sooner. You're really doing yourself a big favor by tackling any issues you have right now, instead of in 10-20 years from now. It's never too late to make changes, so go for it

Ursus Horribilis

Your friend is talking rot. Is he in a low-paid job too? Or afraid that you'll emigrate and leave him with one less friend to hang out with? This is absolutely all about him and nothing to do with you.

I didn't have much of a career until I was 27. Then I changed direction and started again at the bottom. I have no regrets about it because it worked out for me (touch wood!). It took me until that age to figure out the sort of person I am, what jobs might suit me and what to try. I was also an immature ass in my early 20s so by the time I got to 27 I was in a better frame of mind.

You might think you're ancient at 28 but you're not. You're at an ideal age to make a change because you're still a young person and you've got the flexibility that an older person wouldn't (e.g. mortgage/kids/other commitments). What you're looking at doing is absolutely the right thing. You're on the right path. What's also worth bearing in mind is that loads of people change careers these days. It's not like years ago where you started in your career as a young person and stayed in it until the day you retired. I know loads of people who've changed careers. Life-long learning is a "thing" these days and what you're looking at is not American sh*t by any means.

BonnieSituation

I speny years working in the public sector and felt trapped. Then one day said "f**k it".

So at 29 I quit and headed back to do an undergrad. I'm 32 now and in 3rd year and can see a great future ahead.

I may be living at home as a result but it's all part of the plan for something better at the end.

28 is not too late to do anything.

BettePorter

cactusgal wrote:

In fact, you're the youngest you'll ever be, so the sky's the limit!

What a great line! I'm gonna steal that!

Big Bag of Chips

I'm confused. If 28 is too old to start making decisions and taking action about where you'd like to go, what's the alternative? Spend the next 40 years of your working life in a crappy job? Spend the next 50 or 60 years of your life regretting that you didn't set yourself up for life at 18/19?

Ridiculous idea!

I'm almost 40 and have plans for the next few years of going to back college or reskilling somehow to get a job that I know I will enjoy and be proud of. I have young children so travelling the world isn't an option for me... Yet! But the day will come when they are independent and self sufficient, and maybe even living abroad! And that will be my time to do things I couldn't do before.

At 28 you're only a young fella! Although at 28 you don't realise it. It's only when you get to 38 or 48 or 58 you'll realise how young and carefree you were. And how many possibilities and options you had in front of you. Your friend sounds like a set in his ways aul lad! Which is very sad, but also very common in some areas. In 30 years time he'll probably be still sitting on the same stool in the same pub giving out about the same things. You can sit beside him bemoaning all the things everyone else has, or you can do something you'd like to do.

mapaca

What a load of rubbish your friend is talking! People change careers, go back to college, take up new interests or travel to new places all the time, at different ages and stages! And it's a very positive, healthy thing to do. Very few people figure out exactly what they want out of life at 18/19 and stick rigidly to it without wavering.

There's nothing wrong with wanting more than trundling along in a job that doesn't fulfill you. There's nothing wrong with taking up new hobbies, exploring career options or making travel plans. There's nothing wrong with wanting a bit more enjoyment and excitement out of life. Go for it!

via4

One thing iv learned in life is when your making life changing decisions like that is not to tell the people closest to you. When your in a little doubt yourself their negativity will make you doubt yourself even more. I only tell people after iv done something so they can't make their negative predictions for example I set up my own business and said nothing until it was running. Then I told a few people and what could they say to put me off cos I was already trading so i just got looks of shock. If I had of said I'm thinking of setting up my own business they would straight away be jealous and try to put you of in case you have a bit of success ( and before anyone says they wouldn't have been negative I live in a small town of begrudgers so it's just reality iv learned to stay quiet now!)
For example instead of saying I'm thinking of emigrating say I'm away to x on Friday iv booked my flights they know there is no point in being negative cos you've already made the plans.

KikiDee

You're friend is a bit of a d1ck. Of course 28 isn't too old to start a new. You know this, you're doing this. Fire away with your plans OP and enjoy your life while you can!

orthsquel

Firstly OP well done on taking action for yourself and making your life better for you!

Secondly, ignore your friend and what he said. For your own happiness, I would suggest that you do not confide in him anymore (sober or with drink) about what you intend to do or what changes you are making, because of the risk it may discourage you or create doubts. There are some people you just need to play your cards close to your chest with and he sounds like one of those people. It is far, far, far, healthier for you to acknowledge your life situation and that you're unhappy with it and to do something about it than ignore it and accepting a limited life that will make you unhappy.

If you have the opportunity to make positive changes, get out of your comfort zone, then absolutely, go for it!

Airyfairy12

Im 27 living at home, single, feck all friends with a low paying job. Don't feel too bad about it because its so common these days, rent has only gotten worse, the cost of living is crazy and we're expected to get by on TUS and CE schemes. Its really hard to live, never mind actually enjoy your 20's which I feel ive missed out on.
I know lots of people my age and younger who have their masters, a car and have travelled all over the world and who live outside of home, they talk about themselves like theyre genuinely above other people because they feel like theyve achieved so much and believe that anyone else could do it but everyone else is lazy or not motivated like they are, in reality theyve had financially supportive families to help them out and get them started, theyve also had supportive families that sort them out with jobs when ever theyre stuck. Anyone can have the qualifications, travel and life experiences at a young age if theyd had the help to do it. The rest of us have to scrape and save what ever money we'v left at the end of the week and its rearly very much, try not to compare your life to other peoples.
F*** your friend, he's so negative, you dont expire when you hit 30, Its never too late to start anew, im still waiting for my chance, I really thought id be out by now, ive done courses, years of volunteer work for experience, jobs I hate, ive worked hard to get somewhere but without that support it just makes things so much harder to get from A to B. Dont be hard on yourself, if youre in a place where you can change things and do something you always wanted to then your age shouldnt stop you from you doing it, you'll only look back in 5 years and regret not taking the chance.

Can you move over to your sister?

Most generic usernames are taken

Most generic usernames are taken wrote: »

Hi guys, gonna keep this a little vague for the sake of anonymity, so I'm sorry if that irritates people.

The title of this thread is what a friend said to me when I opened up to him about something that's been depressing me a bit.

I'm not happy with where I am in life right now (living at home, single, in a low skilled job that's just a payslip to me really, I have very few friends and my beloved sister has emigrated). I feel very lost in life and have no sense of direction.

So I figured I should start to take some action to change my situation, so in recent weeks I've taken up old hobbies and trying out new ones too. I'm researching other lines of work and tentatively looking into travel/emigrating as well considering some sort of career guidance.

When I said all this to my friend last weekend he rolled his eyes and said things like I need to "stop arsing about" "28 is too old for this sh*t" "life isn't like some american movie where you're trying to find yourself, you shoulda done that at 18/19 "

Granted he was on his 3rd pint at this point, but he seemed genuinely annoyed about what I was doing. I'm a pretty anxious person by nature and I deal poorly with confrontation, so this all really through me off guard. I kinda just ended the conversation there, and in turn didn't really justify why I'm doing all this...it's really been f*cking with my head since then.

He's made some decent points I guess, although expressed in a pretty bent way, but points nonetheless. I thought what I've been doing lately was mature and positive, but he has me really question myself now.

Yeah, it's probably responsible to stick at what I'm doing and work my way up the pay scale, but is it really worth it when everyday I'm feeling so broken and hollow? I don't have kids, a mortgage or any real responsibilities, so I thought I could use that to my advantage as much as possible and try grow from doing things that are outside my comfort zone...or maybe that's just naive.

Honestly, my heads all over the place and I feel even more lost than I did before I started all this

You should do what makes you happy. As Steve Jobs said, your time is limited so don't live someone else's life.

ChikiChiki

Op, your friend is completely wrong here. Maybe just jealous that he never got the opportunity to do some of the things you are talking about. You are by no means to old. I'm 29 and emigrating leaving a relationship behind and good career opportunities because it's always something I wanted to do. Tough choice but I'm looking after my own happiness. Careerwise you can pick up new skills relatively quickly if you put your mind to it. Loads of online courses and proffessional certifications out there which you can do in your spare time and each one adds value to your CV alongside your experience.

I have a few friends my age that just want to settle to get the job, get married , get the house and have the kids. That's fine by me. Live and let live. Everybody has different requirements in life. No offence but your 'friend' sounds like a narrow-minded dick.

Good luck.

nkav86

I'm 30 with social anxiety/depression, worked in retail basically all my working life and was miserable. Thought this would be my life with no way out. I didn't feel capable of making choices as like you, felt it was too late. But it wasn't, I up skilled and applied for an admin position and now I start my new job Monday.
Its never too late to go for what you want, don't let anyone deter you. There will always people that would rather you didn't change because they like you in that place, but the only thing that matters is your happiness. Good luck OP

Senecio

I'm 41, my wife is 43. I've just resigned from a job that pays a 6 figure salary to pursue our dreams. It takes courage to make a change such as this. It sounds like you have courage, your friend doesn't. Don't let your friend dissuade your from bettering yourself and your life.

Dial Hard

Your friend is a spanner. I don't know anyone who had their sh*t together at 18/19.

Anyone can start afresh at any age and tbh, I commend anyone who has the cojones to realise that they're not happy and take steps to change that. Far too many people just coast because the alternative is "too hard".

EmmaMurray2016

OMG 28 isn't old. I'm nearly 40 and started University 3 weeks ago. It's never to late to do anything. Might take balls but people who are successful in life ....if they didn't take the chances they probably wouldn't be where they are now. Life is full of risks. Just do whatever you can.

Typer Monkey

Your friend is talking rubbish. I quit my job at 28 because i wasn't happy in my career or where i was living. I retrained in a completely new area. In the intervening 11 years I've moved back to dublin, enjoyed my new job, bought my house, met my husband, had two children.

You only get one life so go on and make it the best one you can

LynnGrace

Not much to add to the good advice already given, OP, except to say go for it. You are absolutely right to have a think and say, right, I'm not happy with where things are at, how can I change them, and start putting things in motion.

As regards the person you said it to, take no notice. I couldn't disagree more with their outlook. Plenty of people reinvent themselves at a much older age, and you are young.

Very best of luck.

dobman88

OP I could have written that post myself. My 5 year relationship ended about 3 months ago. I'm 28 too, I work in an unskilled job for minimum wage, renting a sh!te room in a house with 3 randomers, and no qualifications to my name.

I signed up for a basic marketing course after looking at jobs in Malta and seeing that a basic digital & online course is enough to get a good job over there. I plan on moving there next year.

Like you I have absolutely nothing keeping me here. I think your friend is worried he will lose a buddy.

My advice, go for it! I'm gonna go for it. We only get one chance.

Jay Pentatonic

Your friend told you to "stop arsing about"???

How the f*ck is trying to improve your situation in any way "arsing about"?
Your friend sounds like a tool. You, on the other hand, sound like you have a lot of courage, actually.

I'm guessing your friend is the type of person who's been doing the same thing for a long time now? If so, it sounds like he's the one who's "arsing about".

In the words of Bill Murray, "life is so damn short. For f*ck's sake, just do what makes you happy".

Now whatever makes you happy is for you to decide. But you're on the right path.

Best of luck pal.

Dr Jakub

Here's the thing op, people don't like it when they see others improving themselves, it makes them feel inadequate and jealous.

To hell with friend and good on you for making steps to improve your life. Most sit around feeling sorry for themselves.

Birdsong

Considering that you will more than likely to be working for another 40 years, 28 is definitely not to late to start over.

I'm early 40s,back at college now on a part-time basis because I want to position my career in a different direction for the latter end of my career. There are many older than me in college doing the same.

BarcaDen

Mate!!! 28 is not too young! Your mate is a closed minded dickhead.

It all depends what you want from life. When I was 24, I left a job with great prospects to travel the world and do other things. Almost by accident, I'm multiples richer 5 years later. The reason? Because I took risks and rejected the convention that we're all supposed to do boring jobs until we die and thats all there is to life.

If you're unhappy in life it is in your power to change it. Being 28 years old is no f-ing excuse!

Your friend seems like the kind of person who makes accepts his lot, destined to be one of life's followers. Are you really going to take advice from someone so inherently unambitious, so lacking in colour? Leave him to his drab grey world and do what you want to do. Ireland is full of begrudgers who can't stand to see people succeed or be happy with their lives.

Good luck!

Telluric

OP, I highly suggest you ignore everything your 'friend' said - along with any other stupid crap he spouts out after a few drinks in future! To be honest, I often find that those comments come from a place of jealousy and regret rather than anything else. If he's all settled, then maybe he wishes he had the freedom to do what you're planning now.

I'm 30 and I moved abroad myself recently. I have a steady income and I can work from anywhere, so I had no particular reason for moving other than "I wanted to" - and I've already encountered a ton of people who just can't understand that. What I've learned, is that some people just can't break away from the status quo of 'buy a car, get married, buy a house, have kids' and they genuinely find it hard to relate to anyone whose life doesn't follow that roadmap. And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with settling down, just like there's nothing wrong with wanting to get out there and see the world and have new experiences. But what "is" wrong, is judging people for whichever path they take.

I think your plans sound great and it's admirable that you've recognised that you're unhappy and decided to take control of your life. Especially if you're dealing with anxiety at the same time. You sound like someone who has their head screwed on, and there's no call for you to be taking anyone else's opinion on your life into account. You're doing fcuking great. Keep at it. And well done

LegacyUser

At 28 your doing the right thing having a look at your life.
I would not bother to listen to your friend. He could be so called happy with his lot and the highlight of his week is a few pints in the pub Fri/Sat night. He may not want you to do courses or make changes to your life because you may not be around for him in the future.

I few years ago I took a look at my own life. I was not happy with a few things and I started to make changes. I won't say it was always easy but I am happier now than I was back then. I am now in my mid 40's.

Also with the way the jobs market is now most people will have more than one job, one career. They realise that being flexable and upskilling is what keeps their job, helps them change jobs or enable them to travel or live abroad for a while.

At this stage I would look into what you want to do be it more study or travel. Make your plans and chat to people who can see where or what your trying to do. If you don't know people in your circle who can do this post up on boards as some one here may be able to answer your questions or give you more advice.

I would think where do you want to be in a years time or in the next 5 years. You may need to look into course be it part time, online or college. You may have to change jobs or move side ways in order to move forward.
Your friend may be happy with his lot but if your not happy you need to work on improving your own life.

I have seen people not following friends/family advice in regards to certain things and a few years later they were in a far better position because they did this.

BetsyEllen

Your friend is a moron and maybe jealous that you have the freedom to make such choices.

I'm 29 and separated.
I've spent the past year or so utterly miserable so I decided to make some changes.

I'm just back from a week in Italy by myself, I am on the PC right now planning a trip to Germany and Austria next year.

I'm also looking into learning a language, not sure if I want to do French or Italian yet.

There is no age that is 'too old' to improve your life. Do what makes you happy; if you're getting negative comments from others, don't tell them your plans.

LegacyUser

I have emigrated and started over again in my teens, twenties, twice in my thirties and once in my forties, so far. No regrets about any of those moves. Myself and my girlfriend have started on a plan that will see us do it at least one more in my forties or early fifties and I can't wait. If anything, 28 is far, far too young to stop wondering where you could go next. Good luck and send that "friend" postcards when you get there.

Ben Gadot

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

Im 27 living at home, single, feck all friends with a low paying job. Don't feel too bad about it because its so common these days, rent has only gotten worse, the cost of living is crazy and we're expected to get by on TUS and CE schemes. Its really hard to live, never mind actually enjoy your 20's which I feel ive missed out on.
I know lots of people my age and younger who have their masters, a car and have travelled all over the world and who live outside of home, they talk about themselves like theyre genuinely above other people because they feel like theyve achieved so much and believe that anyone else could do it but everyone else is lazy or not motivated like they are, in reality theyve had financially supportive families to help them out and get them started, theyve also had supportive families that sort them out with jobs when ever theyre stuck. Anyone can have the qualifications, travel and life experiences at a young age if theyd had the help to do it. The rest of us have to scrape and save what ever money we'v left at the end of the week and its rearly very much, try not to compare your life to other peoples.

Some people are very fortunate and don't have the self awareness to realise the breaks they have gotten, that is true. I've been on both sides of the track so to speak, I've experienced life on the dole and I've experienced extremely good fortune, so anytime I come across those you describe I can only roll my eyes.

Your friend OP sounds like someone has to put it up to him. I know his type, let them away with it and they'll spout awful bull****. Stand up to them and watch them become mice. Your mate is a miserable fcuker and I wouldn't be letting how he spoke to you go, no true friend would act like he has.

And to answer your question, it's never too late. I'm always trying to convince myself that I don't have to do this or that. Before I knew it, years had past and been utterly wasted, before I eventually took the plunge. Don't waste years like I did trying to convince yourself that you can't do something as before you know it 3/4/5 years will have passed, and that itch will still be there.

witchgirl26

OP your friend is full of bull. 28 is not too old at all!

I think what your doing is great. It's way too easy to give up and just go along with everything. Maybe you hit too close to the bone for your friend and he's feeling similar to you but doesn't have your courage to actually do something about it.

My dad was a christian brother until he was 39 (only way to get a degree & be a teacher in those times), left and married my mam when he was 40 and built a whole new life!

Hey the Baz Luhrmann song "(Everybody's Free) To Wear Sunscreen" even says it "Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life, The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't"

witchgirl26

witchgirl26 wrote: »

OP your friend is full of bull. 28 is not too old at all!

I think what your doing is great. It's way too easy to give up and just go along with everything. Maybe you hit too close to the bone for your friend and he's feeling similar to you but doesn't have your courage to actually do something about it.

My dad was a christian brother until he was 39 (only way to get a degree & be a teacher in those times), left and married my mam when he was 40 and built a whole new life!

Hey the Baz Luhrmann song "(Everybody's Free) To Wear Sunscreen" even says it "Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life, The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't"

Never appreciated that tune originally but as the years go by ive grown quite fond of it.

LegacyUser

I found out recently that my old dentist, a man presumably in his early 30s or so, had left the profession to do something else, a decision which I'm sure wasn't taken lightly. Most people think highly of those who make, what is usually considered to be, a brave decision to change their direction in life. No matter what you decide to do people won't think that deeply about it, certainly not even a fraction as much as you will, and they will just accept that you are doing what you are doing. Best of luck to you sir.

silverbolt

OP ive seven years on you. Ive relocated three times massively in my life and next year im going back to uni to do a BA. At 35.

No youre not too old, or past it. Youre never too old to start anew with a new career and life.

your friend is frankly chatting crap

ligerdub

It's funny, I'm reading some of the suggestions saying they are in their mid 30s and going back to college (made to sound like its ancient), and I'm thinking that isn't even that old. By comparison, and in reality, 28 is nothing. If anything even if you'd started out a career after going to college (or even if you didn't), then realistically only working less than a decade. You've gone a maximum of 20% into the process, probably closer to 10%!

Don't place emphasis on what one person says, even more so when the advice is as unhelpful as your friends was. I'm going to give him the benefit if the doubt by saying that he probably meant well, and if it turns out to be a catalyst for you to do something then it might be a vital conversation for you to have.

Having said that he was being a dick.

I think most of us go through these types of crisis every now and then. I myself find myself out of work (through choice), as a role I moved into turned out to be crushing to my disposition, and one I was not suited to. I also couldn't find a way back into the previous role I was in. Automation and changes in technology have seriously dented employment prospects for what I do. So I'm snookered in terms of employment options. I'm 33, 34 in May, and am seriously considering taking steps to do what's necessary to set down a definable career (despite having a degree, a Masters and professional qualifications in the bag in what I had been doing).

Katgurl

Your friend is talking rubbish.

You're still in your 20's for gods sake. I went back to college fulltime and started from the beginning and have now got a new career at age 38 (which i love).

You are going to be working for a long time. Get set up with something you enjoy.

Estrellita

Sadly, your friend has some problem or other about you getting ahead in life. Friends are supposed to be supportive of you with your dreams. There are probably things your friend is unhappy with in their life, and is projecting this on you.

Really, the world is your oyster, and the sky is the limit! I returned to college at thirty. There was a guy in my base class doing the subject purely because he was interested in it and he was in his sixties. People in college come from all walks of life. I loved college for this.

Btw, don't emigrate because your sister has, and your man down the road has. Emigrate only if it's what you want deep down. Forget what others are doing.

The truth of the matter is you can do what you want, and the only thing that is stopping you is yourself and 'friends' giving bad advice because they have an agenda. Start grabbing life by the cajones

CdeC

Ah man, that is not a friend.
He is projecting onto you and doesn't want you to do something that he is afraid to do.
28 is not too old. No age is too old. there are no rules for this.
Start doing some research and make some plans. If you're sister has emigrated why not follow her? Would be a great start to already know someone.

Ditch the naysayers and move along in life. You'll only regret the things you didn't do

SuperS54

Your friend doesn't know what he is talking about, 28 still very much young (lucky you!). I emigrated to Asia at 28, a colleague emigrated here in his mid 40's. You literally have your whole life and the world before you to explore!

gargargar

To cut your friend some slack perhaps he does believe you are too old. I know after the age of 21 I always thought my age was old. Looking back it was silly.

When I was 28 I was in a rut. I decided to give up my very good job and go travelling. My boss told me I was too old when I handed in my notice, but I think he just didn't want to lose me (and was an a*sehole). One or two friends questioned my decision. I went ahead and travelled for 9 months, then moved to Australia for 5 years. Best decision I ever made.

LegacyUser

I can totally empathize with the OP.

Been in my current job for the past three years. What began as a stop gap to find something else (whatever that was) ended up being a full time job, a job which I've struggled to leave as I see it as just a paycheck and nothing else.

It's actually draining the life out of me and I dread the thoughts of going in when I wake up every morning. The job isn't taxing in any way but the monotony of it all is slowly driving me insane.

Sorry to hijack the thread but like the OP, this has been depressing me more than just a bit. Why haven't I left yet? Because it pays my rent etc for the month. And because I suffer from social anxiety, I just dread the thoughts of going for an interview if it came to that stage.

oil painting

The beginning of change is scary, but if you dont listen to your gut you will be conforming to a life you dont really want. A lot of times making big changes does close other doors and open others. 28 might be a good age to access whos around you and if there is expansion in your environment and the people in it, either way regardless if you stay or go, that would be important to address, you seem to be inspired by your dear sister and you seem really close, would you consider going out to her?

Times like these craic open life to give us growth, have you heard the Lobster story by the rabbi (you tube)? He explains when a Lobster grows the shell expands and he nearly burst out of it, its uncomfortable and restricting, the shell eventually breaks of and another shell is underneath, its supposed to be a metaphor for human stress and changes, and how we can make transitions and be comfortable with 'times
a changin' it is part of the process of life.

I have recently reassessed who was a real friend in my life and i was quite surprised to see that i am not as compatible with my 2 best friends anymore and we have gone in different directions, i was holding us all together but no one else was, i had to respect that we were all on dif paths and it was time to let go, i spent 4 months alone soul searching, felt quite isolating but it was my reality, then really nice kind like minded people started to show up and my life is really fulfilled now, we deserve better and deep down we know it which is why life forces you to see.

ligerdub

oil painting wrote: »

The beginning of change is scary, but if you dont listen to your gut you will be conforming to a life you dont really want. A lot of times making big changes does close other doors and open others. 28 might be a good age to access whos around you and if there is expansion in your environment and the people in it, either way regardless if you stay or go, that would be important to address, you seem to be inspired by your dear sister and you seem really close, would you consider going out to her?

Times like these craic open life to give us growth, have you heard the Lobster story by the rabbi (you tube)? He explains when a Lobster grows the shell expands and he nearly burst out of it, its uncomfortable and restricting, the shell eventually breaks of and another shell is underneath, its supposed to be a metaphor for human stress and changes, and how we can make transitions and be comfortable with 'times
a changin' it is part of the process of life.

I have recently reassessed who was a real friend in my life and i was quite surprised to see that i am not as compatible with my 2 best friends anymore and we have gone in different directions, i was holding us all together but no one else was, i had to respect that we were all on dif paths and it was time to let go, i spent 4 months alone soul searching, felt quite isolating but it was my reality, then really nice kind like minded people started to show up and my life is really fulfilled now, we deserve better and deep down we know it which is why life forces you to see.

Were you the one with the gold, frankincense or myrrh then? ;-)





Sorry, crap joke!

LegacyUser

My dad was in his late 40's with two kids and a mortgage when he did a total carer change. He was clearly unhappy but was sticking the job as he felt that's what he was meant to do. The opportunity came up to totally change his carer and after discussing it with my mum and us he went for it and never looked back.

Good family friend went to college at 40. She'd given up her life to look after parents when other siblings left and finally went back to study what she wanted.

No such thing as too old OP, no one can promise you it will work out but you won't know if you don't try.

looksee

Your friend is wrong, OP, as everyone else has said. It occurs to me to wonder, though, have you been singing this song for the last few years maybe, without doing anything about it? Is this your discussion of choice with a few beers? Possibly he just got fed up hearing it. If you really want change, do it, don't just talk about it.