Getting Child Access But No Advance Schedule or Notice

sligoman2015

I'm just wondering if other's on this forum could provide me with some help / advice on a very difficult situation.


I'll just set out the situation first

Non Resident Parent (Dad)

Judicially Seperated 1 year, out of family home 1 year

Staying with elderly aunt for last 1 years, have now just acquired my own home

4 Kids aged 14 ,13 (secondary school), 10 & 6 (primary school)

Judicial Separation states parents will agree own schedule of access & in the event that a schedule of access cannot be agreed, default schedule is every second weekend 2 nights Saturday to Monday AM and overnight Wednesday on week that I do not have kids. States that this comes into force once I have acquired my own home (ie now)

Former wife refusing to discuss or agree a schedule of access. Kids have spent only 2 nights in my house. There is no access order in place, just "you will agree a schedule of access" as outlined above.

Current longstanding pattern is that I have kids 3 hours on weeknight and 3-4 hours on either sat or sunday afternoon, no schedule, usually get yeh or nay 24 hours before by text or sometimes same day ,after several preceeding days of texts as to when I can have.

Paying substantial maintenance in full & 100% on time

So right now I have no idea when or if I have kids this weekend, and an overnight tonight was refused today. Various reasons are being invoked like kids dont want to go with you (true for 2/4 kids, no particular reason, just could not be bothered), kids need to settle into school again, 1/4 has some engagement this weekend so its 4 or zero contact.

To summarise, ex wife not recognising my new circumstances, still operating interim arrangements pending getting own house, constantly keeping me dangling until last moment as to access, no schedule, relationship with 2/4 kids sliding a bit, says we don't need a schedule and happy to continue ad hoc last minute arrangements.

What Do I Do

1. Keep going with this for another 2-3 months and hope things improve / demand enforcement in writing of default no agreement schedule as per judicial seperation, then start legal

2. Commence a court case myself now (I feel able to represent myself as I feel the circumstance of the case are clear, I have the forms already)

3. Seek mediation

4. Other ideas?

Just to add there are no arrangements for Christmas...

Thank you in advance for any advice or ideas

Payton

Your in a bit of a pickle there. Try and sit down with your ex and come to an agreement on access, it'll benefit all of you failing that try mediation.

If your children don't want to go to see there is not a lot you can do especially your older children.