Just started dating a guy in line

Megan8181

I need help .. first date.. hit it off.. really affectionate..great kisser..text me the day after and all that day.

offered to cook me dinner at his. I suggested mine...
he cooked for me at mine...tried to get intimate I told him no.

Date 3.. met him after a work thing.. great craic.. slept together at his.. he drove me home...Wanted to spend the next.day with Me asked what I was doing for the rest of the day. Told him..I was out with the girls for the day and evening. No contact for the next day t 4pm.. no text. He was hardly online.

Cancelled but re scheduled. For the next day. Nothing until after lunch the next day.... and then we had yet and great date and night and no text ... again.. he is super affectionate.

Single.2 years.. both of us... but no texting or contact in between dates.. and .... no real questions about me despite me asking him.....

what do u think... genuine? If so should I tell him.this bothers me.. I'm Not lookin for flat out texting.. just .. I had a good time.. busy here at work shout u later .. I just feel a bit...mehhhh....like it's just company for him.. help please. X

sullivlo

Mod

Hi op,

Moving your thread to PI as you might get better responses there

Megan8181

Loveinapril wrote: »

That post is really difficult to read without proper sentences or punctuation.

You have had a few dates, seem to get on well etc. Maybe he is not a texter. What makes you think he is not 'genuine'?

Ah I know I'm sorry I sent that from my ipad and it's crap to type with. Thanks for the reply though.

SO ... yes.. I was hoping that would be the answer. I'm just single a while. Last person I dated was cheating for a long time. I saw vague signs and ignored them so I don't really trust my gut.

I was hoping that I could get a few opinions to make it easier.

stanley1989

Loveinapril wrote: »

That post is really difficult to read without proper sentences or punctuation.

You have had a few dates, seem to get on well etc. Maybe he is not a texter. What makes you think he is not 'genuine'?

Oh please shut up a child could read that
grammar police out to make a point
A very sad point at that get a life

Taltos

Mod note
Stanley - welcome to PI/RI.
Please read our charter before you post here again. No matter how helpful you might think the above is it's classified as personal abuse here and regularly results in forum bans. If you don't have constructive advice to offer just don't post, due to the nature of many threads here we are one of the most moderated forums.

Your duplicate posts have also been removed.

OP - I've added in some paragraphs and removed some text speak to fit better with this forum as I know your thread was moved. Cheers.

Xterminator

As i see it your problem is not when you are together, that is great.

its the fact he doesn't text between dates?
and not asking about you?

He could be a non texter who is shy about prying in your life. 4 dates is still early.

I'd recommend you have another couple of dates and see what your gut is telling you. you are the best placed person to answer that question, not the keyboard warriors (like me) who bring their own hangups and assumptions to each situation.

See does he make any move to become exclusive? if that happens then i'd expect you could have a chat about contact between dates and what you think is normal etc without coming across as needy.

X

Mr. Incognito

Some people like to text a lot

Some people dont

Sounds like he's affectionate when you are together.

I think you are over thinking it.

Just let it develop naturally.

daisybelle2008

Megan8181 wrote: »

... but no texting or contact in between dates.. and .... no real questions about me despite me asking him.....

what do u think... genuine? If so should I tell him.this bothers me.. I'm Not lookin for flat out texting.. just .. I had a good time.. busy here at work shout u later .. I just feel a bit...mehhhh....like it's just company for him.

He might be very genuine but not looking for anything serious, which is entirely his prerogative. Asking if he is 'genuine' is kind of a strange way a looking at it to me. If you don't trust your own gut instinct and have some trust issues regarding your ex maybe park the relationships for a while until you are surer of yourself and your instincts?

I dunno the lack of contact, dates at each other's gaff and especially him not asking questions and getting to know me, would put me off and it personally wouldn't appeal to me, but that's not to say he is ungenuine. I wouldn't be having big convos about how it 'bothered' me after a few dates, I'd just see it as incompatibility and would move on, no harm done.

You really have to decide what you want and act and communicate accordingly.

Megan8181

Guys thanks so much..I'm not the person to not say something.

I text this morning to say basically to not text aftet spending the night with someone isn't ok with me. I appreciate it's just dating but it's manners ect. I said if it wasnt for him that was totally fine but it's not what I expect.

He replied he liked me a lot and I was right. It wasn't cool and he was sorry.

I said to park it now n move on but that's what I expected.

I'm still not quite sure but I appreciate all the advice as I was confused.

Re previous relationships and trust issues... it's been 2.5 years .. I need to at least try move on and I'm not looking for someone else to make me feel better about myself but I think a guy should want to make a girl feel special right ???

Thank u so much

MaroonAndGreen

Megan8181 wrote:

Re previous relationships and trust issues... it's been 2.5 years .. I need to at least try move on and I'm not looking for someone else to make me feel better about myself but I think a guy should want to make a girl feel special right ???

Yeah and vice versa. You are bordering being out of order. He's done absolutely nothing wrong and you basically guilted him into saying sorry to you. Id be finishing things up if I was him.

Sorry OP but you've handled this quite poorly IMO. I don't understand this thing about having to text? Bizzare?

Ursus Horribilis

How do you feel about going for a meal in his place after only one date? Perhaps other people will disagree with me here but that's certainly not where I'd be going on a second date with someone I hardly knew. This, combined with no real questions about you, would suggest to me that he has one thing on his mind here.

On the texting thing, have you ever sent him a text between dates and has he replied?

gaynorvader

Megan8181 wrote: »

...

Date 3.. met him after a work thing.. great craic.. slept together at his.. he drove me home...Wanted to spend the next.day with Me asked what I was doing for the rest of the day. Told him..I was out with the girls for the day and evening. No contact for the next day t 4pm.. no text. He was hardly online. ...

This is why he didn't text the next day, you told him you'd be busy with friends, so he left you alone. He wasn't online because he probably went out with his own mates, or ran some errands or did whatever.

He might be shy about asking about you, he may not know where to start, why don't you try volunteering some information and see if he has follow up questions? Try telling him about your day or week.

Mr. Incognito

uys thanks so much..I'm not the person to not say something.

I text this morning to say basically to not text aftet spending the night with someone isn't ok with me. I appreciate it's just dating but it's manners ect. I said if it wasnt for him that was totally fine but it's not what I expect.

Dear Lord.

I would immediately block your number and write you off as a give me attention nutcase.

MaroonAndGreen

OP I'm sorry but its a ridiculous idea that you think its "manners" to text after spending the night.

CdeC

I'm not into texting. Prefer it just for info and not chat.
I make exceptions for friends abroad.

Just let him be himself and you stop needing constant reassurance. Just put the phone away and enjoy life.