Child turning extremely bold after starting pre school

missvicky

Hi all, I' m looking for some advice. My little lad has started pre school three days a week and has gotten extremely bold and aggressive since starting. He punches me, kicks me, spits at me shouts at me and pushes and shoves his 1 year old sister with so much force she bangs her head. If he doesn't get his way or I say 'no' he lets out a high pitched scream. When I ask him why he is being like this he replys 'because I love to be bold' and so and so at school does it to me. I've tried to speak to the teacher about it but don't get much reaction just the 'we all worry about our first' speel. Now don't get me wrong he was no angel to start out with but this behaviour is taking it's tole at this stage. I'm wondering if it's just his way of adjusting or am I sugar coating it? Any advice greatly appreciated

mordeith

missvicky wrote: »

Hi all, I' m looking for some advice. My little lad has started pre school three days a week and has gotten extremely bold and aggressive since starting. He punches me, kicks me, spits at me shouts at me and pushes and shoves his 1 year old sister with so much force she bangs her head. If he doesn't get his way or I say 'no' he lets out a high pitched scream. When I ask him why he is being like this he replys 'because I love to be bold' and so and so at school does it to me. I've tried to speak to the teacher about it but don't get much reaction just the 'we all worry about our first' speel. Now don't get me wrong he was no angel to start out with but this behaviour is taking it's tole at this stage. I'm wondering if it's just his way of adjusting or am I sugar coating it? Any advice greatly appreciated

What age is he? Has he ever been separated from you before? It could be a settling in phase although if he's in danger of hurting his little sister it obviously needs dealing with now. Did he display any of this behaviour before starting school (if so how did you deal with it?)

LegacyUser

I don't think the school's message is strong enough there either. Do they see this behaviour when he's in school? What do they do about it?
I wouldn't bother asking him why he's like this. To be honest, he probably just doesn't know, or doesn't have the words to tell you. I'd be dealing with any of that behaviour with an extremely firm hand and a consistent reaction each time, because he has to be taught that it's not acceptable, regardless of what he sees in school. Do you use time outs or reward charts or what way do you normally deal with that type of thing?
And as for the high pitch scream - let him scream.Once you stick to your line of no being no, he'll realise pretty quickly that it gets him nowhere. But your reaction and consistency is key.

missvicky

Thanks for the relplies. He's 4 and hasn't really been away from me other than overnights with granparents etc. He was always a bit of a cross child but since starting school it's more consistent. When he acts out I stay calm but firm with him and take toys away. He'll usually get the picture then but lately he's testing the boundries I suppose. I spoke with the teacher today and she said it's just a way of him adjusting and that she doesn't seen anything happen while he is at school

Moonbeam

My 2 and 3 year olds are mostly good but when tired they can exert similar behaviours. When they start school those 3 hours a day tires them out completely.

yellow hen

Moonbeam wrote: »

My 2 and 3 year olds are mostly good but when tired they can exert similar behaviours. When they start school those 3 hours a day tires them out completely.

Same here. First two weeks of preschool were a nightmare. Apparently he was grand in there but brought all his tiredness and aggression home. Once he settled in, it faded away but I know now that tiredness and hunger are triggers for that sort of behaviour

missvicky

Thanks everyone. Hopefully it'll settle down. He's not a great sleeper battle to get him to bed but thats getting better slowly and he wakes around 5.30/6 so he's knackered before school even starts. Reassuring to here I'm not the only one