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The Mental Inferno - Depression

  • 13-09-2016 11:36am
    #1
    Sin City
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,375 ✭✭✭


    I’m fine

    Look beyond the laughter the jokes the messing around. Look into the eyes. It's said to be the window to the soul and if you look you will see a dead stare, a black hole that all joy and happiness have been eradicated. Living on the edge of a fine line between numbness and despair daily takes its toll.

    The only escape from this hellish cycle is sleep. However this nocturnal bliss from dreams sweet kiss is only rewarded to you after a fierce and draining battle between mind and soul. It doesn't matter which side wins the end result still takes its toll on you.

    The scars of battle are deep and twisted mutilations that are invisible to anyone else yet just as painful as wounds of the flesh. No one knows what goes on inside this sick and diseased mind. Sure people know your upset but they do not and cannot know the crushing isolated painstaking world where you are the sole inhabitant. You do not leave anyone get close. Your defensive walls go up to keep society out for both your and their protection. Your functional that's all you can be.

    Routine keeps you someway sane and stops you from thinking, stops the battle cry that is screaming inside your consciousness. A blood curdling spine chilling sound more unnerving than anything you have ever experienced yet you experience it on a daily basis.

    Abandon all hope ye who enter here because in this mental prison cell, in this solitary confinement there is no early release. There is no reprieve, no pardon by the guvnor at the 11th hour.

    There are indeed 7 levels of hell, but not in some afterlife. This torment, this suffering constant agony is forever on going and through life's ironic twist it isn't thrust upon the guilty or deserving. Tormented daily exhausted from battling a never ending war that cannot ever be won. This isn't life this is survival.


Comments

  • #2
    Skyfarm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 235 ✭✭Skyfarm


    Are you ok?


  • #3
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Are you ok OP? Your post is beautiful in it's stark and real portrayal of depression yet at the same time concerning for your current state of mind.

    You are not alone.


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