Guy I'm seeing still on Tinder

LegacyUser

Hi. I'm a bit of an overthinker, so I'm sorry if this sounds silly! I've started seeing this really nice guy and its been going well. I've been talking to him on Tinder for a long while but we've been on 3 dates so far and I'd really like to see him again.

The trouble is that I get the feeling that he's still playing the field and going on other dates. I know we're not yet in a relationship, and he's very much entitled to go on other dates, but I can't help but feel a little upset and worried about any future dates.

I don't know for sure he's going on dates, but all I do know is that when I was chatting to a girlfriend of mine last week about the guy I was dating and showed her a picture, she said she had also been talking to him on Tinder! She only spoke briefly with him, but what I took from it is that he is still seeing what's out there.

I'm also trying to arrange another date with him and he said he's busy every night this week! My paranoid mind is telling me that he has other dates lined up and I'm a back up plan. I know it's silly to think about these kinds of things because there's not much I can do, and he's doing nothing wrong I guess...

Should I let him just do his thing and not pressure him for future dates? Do I wait for him to message me to arrange another date?

antix80

Maybe the other dates are the backup plan.

Just assume you're working towards something. And use your words, no harm asking if he'd like to be more exclusive or what are his intentions (don't mention you know he's on tinder)

I broke up with someone for paranoia previously. It's not nice feeling someone's keeping tabs on your internet presence!

leggo

This is what being single is now. Until you commit to something firm and defined with someone, you have to decide what you want for yourself. My own standards is that I'll only ever date and sleep with one person at a time (in case it develops as I don't want awkward questions down the line), but I'll also keep somewhat active in terms of dating online and if I kissed someone else or got a phone number or texted someone else, that's not a big deal. What do you want to do? There's no wrong answer. But you can't worry about what other people do until they've committed to you and have to look out for yourself.

Tigger99

Ok you really really need to chill here. I wouldn't close my online account for anyone after three dates and I'm not surprised he hasn't. Also if you are trying to arrange dates and he's too busy, then there's your answer. If he wanted to see you he would. I certainly wouldn't be suggesting any more dates.

Rubberchikken

i've no experience of tinder so can't advise on that but what i would say is don't waste your time waiting/worrying about some guy you've been on three dates with and enjoy your life. if he calls, good. if he doesn't, then tell yourself there's plenty more fish in the sea.
stressing yourself out about whether he's busy all week/seeing others is just pointless. live your life. take care

Mr. Incognito

The modern world is divided

Some people use Tinder and the likes to find a partner. Some use it as a mechanism for casual hook ups and random dates.

This can get quite exhausting for some people but for others its quite exciting to go on lots of different dates and get their egos stroked and play the field.

It sounds like you are into this guy and would like to be exculsive. It sounds like he is still chatting to other people.

The only thing you can do is respect yourself. Don't bend over backwards for this guy.

My experience though, is that if a guy is into you and wants to be exclusive they will make the moves to make that happen.

What I would say is that its only been three dates. Perhaps relax a bit. Chat to other guys on Tinder or whereever and dont be so available. Dont invest so much too early into any guy. Things will progress naturally or they wont.