Could I be suffering from post-natal depression for this long?

LegacyUser

Hi, So I want to stay anonymous here. I've just got a few things I need to get off my chest. I have a 14 year old and a 2 year old with my husband of 20 years. Since having my daughter 2 years ago I'm noticing very similar patterns happening from when I had my son 14 years ago. I was in a quite dark place when I had my son, without realising. I Didn't want to go out that much, I shut all my close friends out of my life and at times I wouldn't even answer the door to family members when they would come and visit. I moved to Ireland when my son was 2 and things started to improve after he went to school and I was out and about doing work/college etc. I finished in my work place 2 years ago when I had my daughter (it was only a temporary position) and i'm now noticing the same old pattern in my life. I've shut my close friends out, I don't to get out and about all that much. I've never met up with other mothers etc and I really feel like i've turned myself into a prisoner once again. Never really leaving my four walls. I feel so bad on my daughter as the only time we get out and about is when I go walking for an hour a day (something that I force myself to do) I don't drive, I've booked lessons many of times and they've gone ok but I have developed a fear of driving and always end up quitting! I've really got myself in a rut and I'm struggling to get out of it. My husband is a great guy but he is a real firm believer that we don't suffer from depression etc and that it's a cop out to say i'm 'depressed' it's a touchy subject to bring up with him and I find he almost gets angry when I try to confide in him with the way that I'm feeling. I feel lonely and down some days and other days I feel like I could conquer the world. I suppose I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar position and could this be a form of post natal depression? I don't want to talk to my doctor because I wouldn't even know where to start and would just feel silly. Any help/advise would be very much appreciated.

Merkin

Just a gentle reminder to poster not to make any diagnoses. Similarly OP, nobody here is qualified to make a qualified diagnosis so it is imperative that you talk to your GP or public health nurse. I am sure posters will be happy to share their experiences or offer your some suggestions/advice however.

silverbolt

Yes it is highly possible. PND can last decades especially if its been undiagnosed/untreated.

If you recognise a problem, book yourself into a GP or a womans support network. Personally id advise the latter as they will be more understanding

antix80

Interesting article on psychologytoday.com called is-postpartum-depression-different-regular-depression (cant post links)

I guess post natal depression is simply depression brought on by having a newborn.. maybe stress, hormones, etc. And anyone who has suffered depression, particularly a prolonged period, can find it hard to return to their old habits and thinking patterns.

I know someone who got into her head she was a bad mother, so as her child grew this notion consumed her thinking everytime she looked at her child. So that's another slant that post natal depression can have over regular depression.