One sided friendship?

unable to anon

I've a friend, someone who'd call me a good friend and I'd call a good friend, but one thing is really bothering me recently

He's never the one who makes any effort with regards talking or doing things. I genuinely can't remember when he last asked me to do anything, or just messaged/called me because. You might think he's just quiet, but he's not and he's always talking to and doing things with other people we're friends with, it's seemingly just me he's like this with

He'd always talk away to me if i rang him or messaged him, and would always be up for doing something if i asked, but it's never him

I really copped on to this a few weeks back, when we were looking for a house together and he was in charge of it as he knows the area better but he'd never tell me about how it was going. I rang him one day and it turned out we had a house viewing in a half hour, he just forgot to tell me. In the end he got sorted himself, the house he was supposed to be leaving he was allowed stay in and that was fine I wouldn't be annoyed at him for that, it left things awkward for me as I don't know anyone in the area and had to go looking on my own but I'm genuinely not annoyed at him for staying in his current place

That was 3 weeks ago, and I haven't heard a thing from him since. No little message asking how I'm getting on looking for a place, or how I'm doing in general. It's just weird.

He had all the other lads over a while last week, which I found out through one of the other lads. I got no invite, but the others did. None of them thought to ask me either because me and the lad I'm on about are supposed to be really close.

Am I making something of nothing or am i right to be annoyed? How do I bring it up with him

December2012

Just to check - are you male or female?

unable to anon

Male, and yes I know as a man this sort of stuff shouldn't bother me but I can't make sense of it and I don't know how to approach

Ursus Horribilis

Personally I wouldn't even bother trying to bring it up. He is coming across as someone who's tolerating you but doesn't really see you as a friend. You might get people who'll suggest you ask him did you do something wrong or tell him you heard he had some of the lads over last week and see how he reacts.

If it was me, I'd not bother. You're either going to get a denial and some wishy washy nonsense or he'll say something hurtful that'll wound you. Better I think to take the hint he's giving you and go make new friends.

You're being way too generous to him about that house share that was supposedly going to happen. You don't buy that "forgot to tell you" story, do you? That and his lack of interest in how you're getting on aren't weird at all. He simply doesn't care.

December2012

I'm not saying that as a male you shouldn't feel offended or hurt, but I do know that people can treat friends differently based on gender.

Thing is, I think this guy isn't as close to you as you are to him. Now certainly I spend time with some friends and not others,because of convenience and availability and peoples diaries. But to be not thought of means you were not thought of.

It doesn't mean that you're not close or good friends, but maybe not as close as you had thought. And he seems unreliable.

Maybe it's best to look for property yourself.