ex flirting

coco32

Hi everyone I'm new here so bear with me... Basically i broke up with my ex boyfriend just over a year ago now but a few months before that he ended it with me. After quite an angry break up, months after he got in touch and we got talking again. But i was'nt really sure if i wanted to go back down that road so i did'nt encourage him. Since then he has come into my work place a couple of times. The last time only a few weeks ago he was majorly flirting with me and asking lots of questions about what i was getting up to. Now about him, hes not a 'put himself out there kinda guy' at all. Hes quite shy and stubborn to say the least! Also hes a workaholic which is why the relationship ended. My question is do you think hes still interested? I don't think he would have come to my workplace if he was'nt and its definatly not a place he could avoid me. Thank ypu for reading.

El_Duderino 09

I don't know if this is relevant but it could be that yes looking for a bit of action more than a relationship. Going back to something familiar us much easier than going out and putting yourself around.

If the relationship broke down and the reasons for the break down are still there, then don't go backwards. You can do better but you need to make a decision to look forward and cut romantic ties with this ex.

coco32

He's not the knida guy that just randomly hooks up tbh. hes more of a relationship kinda guy.

El_Duderino 09

coco32 wrote:

He's not the knida guy that just randomly hooks up tbh. hes more of a relationship kinda guy.

Going back to an ex cuts out all the anxiety associated with finding someone new. It's no guarantee that he wants a relationship.

Why not just ask him what his intentions are? F you got back in a relationship with him you would need to set some ground rules to change things and make the relationship work this time. You might as well take the bull by the horns and take the initiative

njs030

You've broken up twice is that correct? And the reasons for the break up are still the same?

Forget what he wants op why would you go back when he hasn't changed the reasons you left in the first place. You will break up again. Why put yourself through that?

coco32

Because I love him .

njs030

coco32 wrote: »

Because I love him .

Perhaps op you should spend some time working out why you ended a relationship with someone you're suddenly so eager to be with.
Love wasn't enough to be with him before why is it now?

Sometimes the rose tinted glasses after a break up mqke it easy to look at the past and forget all the bad parts.
When it hasn't worked twice it would be crazy to go back again.

batmanrobin

How old are you both, OP?

You've already tried twice. How many times are you going to give it? My rule of thumb is try again after a first break up, but if you break up a second time then it's usually a good indication of incompatibility.

Love alone is rarely enough to sustain a relationship. It's needs compatibility, respect, trust and extremely good communication!

coco32

The second time we broke up was because of a stupid row over seeing each other at the weekend. Basically egos got in the way. I've thought about it for over a year and been back and forth a thousand times. I want him back but my question is from what I've told you does he seem interested? Usually when a guy is done he's done and he's kept popping up.

GritBiscuit

No sure way to know other than asking him.

He could be at a loose end, could be an ego thing as you ended it this time, could be fishing to see if you want a hook up/relationship/fwb/ready to be mates yet or anything in-between...

Not much help, sorry!

njs030

Ask him. There's no way of knowing from a couple of visits.

Sound Bite

Sometimes love isn't enough and having tried twice already I would be wary of trying again even if he is interested.

Is he still a workaholic? What has changed since you broke up that means that you are more likely to stay together this time? Do you want to put yourself through the same hurt again? Think carefully.

While it looks like he's interested, it may just be for a hook up, ego boost etc as others have said.

coco32

Just wondering if he's interested is all

njs030

coco32 wrote: »

Just wondering if he's interested is all

It's impossible to say from what you've said. Honestly just ask, what do you have to lose.

El_Duderino 09

coco32 wrote:

I want him back but my question is from what I've told you does he seem interested? Usually when a guy is done he's done and he's kept popping up.

He's definitely interested... In something. You have no idea whether he wants a relationship with you or just a bit of action. To avoid bring used the only solution is to ask him straight. (this must be the most useless suggestion to give someone on an Irish message board. What are we? Eye-talians going around the place asking each other straight questions?)

LegacyUser

coco32 wrote: »

The second time we broke up was because of a stupid row over seeing each other at the weekend.

If it was the second time you broke up and it was over something that small, that tells you how good the relationship was.

Usually when a guy is done he's done and he's kept popping up.

Apart from the fact that generalisations are a poor basis for guessing someone's motives, this just reads like you're clutching at straws. Really you shouldn't be asking us if he's interested, but rather asking yourself why you are so keen to get back into a relationship that failed twice.

batmanrobin

coco32 wrote: »

Just wondering if he's interested is all

Ask him what he wants. No one here can tell you. Be prepared that all he might be looking for is an ego stroke or ex sex.