help...

crazylikeme

I don't know where to start really... |I have a 8 year old daughter who is very difficult. She has always been difficult but we thought she will grow out of it....well she did not. She is very prone to outbursts of anger, very loud, and has massive meltdowns when she does not get what she wants, or can not control someone, mainly her brother. These meltdowns are usually triggered by dissapointment, swiftly followed by her shouting, hitting and crying and quickly escalate to hyperventilating, sweating and complete loss of control. I am at wits end... I am exhausted, I do not know where to turn... I am at the point of thinking she must be ASD...but she doesn't tick the boxes... she is very sociable, very good at imagination, other than the extreme outbursts. At school there are no issues with this she is example pupil. She is not too academically advanced, average in pretty much all subjects.
Parenting her is hell, you never know what mood she will be in when you see her, never know when the next meltdown is coming...
she is sorry afterwards, she says she can't control the anger.... but I cant continue like this...I feel tired, helpless and many of times thought if I could just run away from her...but I love her and fell like failure of a mother...what did I do wrong? I can not afford psychiatrists but at the same time I am thinking maybe she needs to be assessed. At 8 year of age she is so self centered, unbelievably attention seeking, controlling and so bloody loud.....when I see her peers I do not see them acting like that...maybe they do at home I don't know.
does this seem normal to anyone? Please help me understand...I just want to help her so much and us as a family..this is putting huge strain on all of us

mohawk

As she is 8 I don't know how you would access the public system to get her assessed as my fella was referred by PHN. Have you spoken to your GP?

Doesn't sound like ASD but there are also behavioural or emotional disorders that could fit the bill. By 8 most kids have grown out of outbursts and are starting to control their emotions. Then again if she is fine at school

I constantly feel like a failure of a mother so your not alone.

Eibhlin2011

I wouldn't rule out ASD - my son is very imaginative but has high functioning autism. Many children with autism can present as quite sociable too. People sometimes have preconceived ideas about how a person with autism might behave but there is a large range of behaviours.

Having said that she could have anxiety or something else. The only way to know is to have her assessed.

I initially went to my GP who referred my son on to a psychologist for a private assessment

We also had an Assessment of Need on the public system. My son was only 5 when he was referred. Maybe phone your local public health nurse and ask their advice on who you should contact about getting your daughter assessed on the public system.

tony1980

crazylikeme wrote: »

I don't know where to start really... |I have a 8 year old daughter who is very difficult. She has always been difficult but we thought she will grow out of it....well she did not. She is very prone to outbursts of anger, very loud, and has massive meltdowns when she does not get what she wants, or can not control someone, mainly her brother. These meltdowns are usually triggered by dissapointment, swiftly followed by her shouting, hitting and crying and quickly escalate to hyperventilating, sweating and complete loss of control. I am at wits end... I am exhausted, I do not know where to turn... I am at the point of thinking she must be ASD...but she doesn't tick the boxes... she is very sociable, very good at imagination, other than the extreme outbursts. At school there are no issues with this she is example pupil. She is not too academically advanced, average in pretty much all subjects.
Parenting her is hell, you never know what mood she will be in when you see her, never know when the next meltdown is coming...
she is sorry afterwards, she says she can't control the anger.... but I cant continue like this...I feel tired, helpless and many of times thought if I could just run away from her...but I love her and fell like failure of a mother...what did I do wrong? I can not afford psychiatrists but at the same time I am thinking maybe she needs to be assessed. At 8 year of age she is so self centered, unbelievably attention seeking, controlling and so bloody loud.....when I see her peers I do not see them acting like that...maybe they do at home I don't know.
does this seem normal to anyone? Please help me understand...I just want to help her so much and us as a family..this is putting huge strain on all of us

Sounds very like PDA, I would suggest bringing her to a Psychologist to see what they think and go from there.