My resting bitch face

pavilion29

Hey there,

Ok so i've lots to be thankful for, and try not to complain too much. But one thing bothers me and always has -my resting bitch face. For those of you who aren't familiar with the terminology, its a relaxed facial expression that comes across very uninviting to the onlooker. For me, whenever I'm concentrating at work, or even thinking and not talking (sometimes when talking ) in the pub, i look extremely serious and depressed. When I smile of course it changes, but i can't smile 24/7 as much as i try. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed and i may be in a good mood even, but people are always saying how angry or sad i look. At work i think a lot of people stay away from me as it makes them nervous. And yes, it doesn't do me any favours at all in meeting women. I'm still single.

My question is this, short of plastic surgery does anyone have any pointers on possible exercises i could do to improve my resting bitch face? This sounds a bit comical, but this is affecting my self esteem in a negative way.
I'm worried it will prevent me moving forward in my career and personal life.

I'm in a perfectly good mood until someone comes up to me and says "cheer up" or "whats wrong?". That actually puts me in a bad mood and makes the resting bitch face worse.

All opinions are welcome.

lifeandtimes

op your face is your face,theres only one of it in the world and theres no need to change it.

Youre basing this assumption of it causing you a problem with people approaching you.

Why dont you turn it around and approach people so they know how much of a good mood your in and eventually understand that its just how your face is,im sure your friends are already clued in and dont notice it and so will everyone else you come on contact with (provided you are in a good mood at the time)

blue note

I know what you mean op and it is a thing. I have a friend with one. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but i think it's really hot! Same with Aubrey plaza. Another babe with a resting bitch face. Now that I write it I think it's an unfortunate name for it.

But there's nothing wrong with it and I guarantee you there are people who like it. And there are also positives - some girls have ultra friendly faces and people will sit next to them on a bus before even all the double seats are free. And some of them will be weirdos and start talking to her!

Anyway, as I said in the first paragraph - i think they're hot anyway!

carrollsno1

I've the resting miserable prick face someone came up to me one night and asked was I ok i look like I'm in severe pain

njs030

My sister says "that's just my face" when people comment. They have no response to that and quickly it's them that's uncomfortable not her!
Try it!

guppy

pavilion29 wrote: »

For me, whenever I'm concentrating at work, or even thinking and not talking (sometimes when talking ) in the pub, i look extremely serious and depressed.

I come from a time when "resting bitch face" was nowhere near in existence, so what I needed to do was to adjust my resting face to be softer and more approachable. Practice it, and suddenly it becomes your normal.

Sunflower 27

notjustsweet wrote: »

My sister says "that's just my face" when people comment. They have no response to that and quickly it's them that's uncomfortable not her!
Try it!

Haha. Very good.

Another one, if some random person ever says to me 'cheer up, it may never happen' (which isn't that often) , I always reply "it just did". Wipes the smug smile off their face pronto.

Esel

"Turn that frown upside-down."

"Funk off."

"Just saying..."

"Are you deaf as well?" (said with a Jack Nicholson Joker face).

sReq | uTeK

guppy wrote: »

I come from a time when "resting bitch face" was nowhere near in existence, so what I needed to do was to adjust my resting face to be softer and more approachable. Practice it, and suddenly it becomes your normal.

Jesus....people do this???

Your face is your face if someone has a problem with it it's there problem not yours.

You will meet someone who won't give a sod about it. That person will be better than the one who loves you for someone you're not

GingerLily

Sometimes the tone of my voice sounds severe so I soften it, sometimes my dry humour sounds sarcastic so I lighten my words, my resting face is a bitch face so I soften it when I can.
Maybe that's fake I don't know, but I would like people to think I'm approachable so I make the small effort it takes.

MeatTwoVeg

It's not much consolation OP, but people who come up to others and tell them to "cheer up" are invariably insufferable pricks.

cbyrd

I laughed when I read this, in a good way! Resting bitch face is a class turn of phrase
I worked in hairdressing for over 20 years I also have a resting bitch face, and a concentrating bitch face. Like you early on in my career it was mentioned, 'are ye alright?' type stuff all the time.
Believe it or not, I found ( bring on the lols) I did actually practice a big smile when someone approached me or when a customer walked in. It works to this day.. disarms people.
I also have a sleeping bitch face.. I've been told I look very cross when I sleep.. :O

Daisy78

I constantly have people (almost always men) come up to me and tell to smile/cheer up/ you don't look happy. My manager would constantly say it. I have had more than a few nights out ruined where a guy would come up and ask me why I was so miserable, not enjoying the concert, etc. It used to really upset me and I started to become very self conscious of not just my facial expression but my overall appearance. I was like maybe this is just people's way of letting me know I am unattractive. Ridiculous but you constantly hear it does wear you down.

But really people can be a bit thoughtless at times, saying something which they think is harmless. If someone says it to me now I use the same line one of the posters above mentioned, "that's just my face, do you have a problem with it?" They usually get a bit embarrassed, apologise and have learnt a lesson in the meantime!

dd972

I'm a bloke with this problem

''Are you ok?'' - ''Er...yeah?''
''Cheer up'' - ''Why? There's no problem''

You've my sympathy, you get sick of it.

PhiloCypher

I told one repeat offender my dog had died. When he reacted shocked and commiserated I told him I was only fibbing but that he might think again before flippantly telling a complete strangers to cheers up in the future.

carrollsno1

dd972 wrote: »

I'm a bloke with this problem

''Are you ok?'' - ''Er...yeah?''
''Cheer up'' - ''Why? There's no problem''

You've my sympathy, you get sick of it.

In the same boat

Wigglepuppy

guppy wrote: »

I come from a time when "resting bitch face" was nowhere near in existence

I'd say we all do - it's become a thing only in about the last five years, you know, some people's obsession with analysing things and giving them all labels. Annoying nonsense.

Nobody should buy into that stuff, least of all to be inflicting it on themselves. Don't be saying about yourself that you have a "bitch" face!

guppy

sReq | uTeK wrote: »

Jesus....people do this???

Your face is your face if someone has a problem with it it's there problem not yours.

You will meet someone who won't give a sod about it. That person will be better than the one who loves you for someone you're not

No, like any muscle, it can be exercised and changed. Sure, I could have decided "eff what everyone else thinks", but I was a very socially awkward person and didn't like the negative attention. What I did helped me immensely. But that's just me. All I offered was another solution to the problem.

I am with the man of my dreams and we're very, very happy together (I know you didn't aim that at me). Actually, he has resting angry face, but he gives not one f*** what people think of him, but I could never have been that person in my youth.