New relationship doubts

sarahzxe

Hi guys,

Looking for a bit of advise, basically I'm recently in a new relationship of 2 weeks he asked me to be official after 1 date!! Bit of background we know each other over 2years nearly 3 now.We kind of kept in contact with each other and met up a couple of times but both of us quite busy so nothing happened. Have never slept together either. Spark has always been there between us and I always had feelings for him. He has said numerous times he feels the same.
I was in a relationship of 18 months which ended recently my decision.

So since making things official after our amazing date, we have not got a chance to meet up again as both work shifts. I might not hear from him for a couple of days at a time or we might be texting and he will just stop replying. Is it normal not to talk everyday or more regularly? We both are late 20's . I just cant understand why he would ask me to his girlfriend if he was not into it? Also I'm moving to the UK in 2 weeks for 2 years he knew this and he thinks we should still give things ago. Feeling a bit confused..

Thanks

LegacyUser

Sounds like he spent the 2-3 years building up a relationship in his head and jumped at the chance once you were single, without giving much thought to the actual nitty-gritty of a relationship such as being in the same country, building up a relationship, communicating well etc.

GingerLily

I wouldn't think the texting on it's own would be an issue, but with you leaving the country it will become one. It will be very hard to have a LDR in a.new relationship, and he'd need to put more effort into texting if it were to work.

Ursus Horribilis

Yeah, I think in the circumstances you'd probably be better off just leaving it be. You're barely an item with this guy and now you're moving away for two years. Long distance relationships have been known to wreck the heads of long-established couples. Chances are you'd be bringing more insecurity into your own head and for what?

leggo

How weird is this: I've just been reading up on emotional unavailability (bit of light reading at 5am!) and two of the big signs were 'likes to put distance in the relationship' and 'commits very quickly'. Coupled with the lack of texting, that could be something worth looking into.

Xterminator

well OP, you said the date was amazing, and so i suspect there was a little chemistry etc?

but now communication is not at the level you expected. but it may be that he and you just need to have a little chat about this - its is very 'fixable'.

Long distance relationships are hard work. are you willing to try one, knowing that? if so then you can sit down and discuss how to keep the relationship alive over a distance (set expectations; listen to what he expects) and give it a go.

if you think he is worth the effort, you have very little to lose.

X