Problems with Food

LegacyUser

Hi all, just looking for some advice here. I am wondering if there has been anyone who had to lose a significant amount of weight and tried multiple times and kept failing, to go on to succeed? I have been trying to lose weight since last Feb. I have lost about 24 lbs so far.. but i could have lost so much more but I just keep "quitting". I am an emotional eater and really rely on chocolate too much. I know I have to change, but I just can't seem to do it. I have tried so many different diets - slimming world, weight waters, counting my macros, my fitness pal, and I'm just so confused on all of them.. like for slimming world you can have porridge for breakfast, but with your macros, porridge is high in carbs and in my eyes, should be avoided. I let myself fail before I have even started. I am trying to love my body as it is, but want it to be better at the same time. I'm just very confused. I live at home and my mum has a problem with her weight and is always going on about losing it, but then does nothing about it. It's not very encouraging. It's really getting to me because last year I was really healthy and felt really good about myself but I am the complete opposite now. I know what I have to do.. but there's just no motivation there! Thanks in advance

LegacyUser

Hey,

I'm really sorry you're having this issue around food, I can relate and I know how hard it is and can be. For the last ten years I have struggled with this too.

I will tell you what helped me(even though I am not out of the water yet) - exercise, but not so much cardio, more with weight lifting or yoga. Anything that relaxes your mind. I still had very strong negative links with food but when a healthy fitness routine is part of your day, I find it's easier to have a healthy relationship regards to food.

Other options are you could speak to a therapist or look in to CBT. I have not got experience with this but, I've heard accounts of others that say they work.

A friend of mine went to a hypnotist for weight related issues and emotional eating and has had great success. It's expensive but if it worked I think it would be worth it.

Anyway, I really hope you begin to feel better. Just take it day by. Day.

The biggest thing I always try to tell myself is to feel the feeling and not to run away from it - what's the worst that can happen? It's all stuff we are avoiding.

NedNew2

That's 11 kg weight loss, well done.

The best way to lose weight and keep it off is not a diet but to ensure you use up whatever calories you take in. Eat smaller portions, drink more water. Also there is a delay of about 15 minutes before the brain signals that you are full.

You can eat chocolate too if you like, it'll just mean more running, swimming, exercise to do!

That's my opinion anyway. I lost 20 kg two years ago and kept it off and I'm still eating whatever I want, slightly smaller portions maybe. No diets for me.

Penny Tration

First off, 24lbs is brilliant! Well done! Yes, you could have lost more, but you've lost 24lbs and kept it off. Keeping it off is the hard part!


With regards to carbs and porridge, yes porridge is carbs but it's good carbs! It's not the same as white bread, it releases energy slowly, keeping you full. There's nothing wrong with having good carbs in your body!


If you have a significant amount of weight to lose, forcing yourself onto rigid, no carb, macro tracked diets is probably way too much work, too soon.

Instead, read about the nutritional values of food and set some smaller goals. Instead of "I won't have any carbs today," start with "I won't have any refined/white carbs today."

Instead of "I won't have more than 1500 calories today," tell yourself "I won't have any processed food/sauces today."


Take small steps. Weight doesn't go on overnight, so it won't come off overnight either.


You've done really well to get 24lbs off, so stop beating yourself up. We all have bad days!


It might do you no harm to see a dietician (not a nutritionist, they're unregulated) to discuss food, the benefits of certain carbs and fats, etc.

BetsyEllen

OP, 24lb is an incredible amount of weight to lose and you're not giving yourself enough credit for this achievement.

As already mentioned, porridge carbs are actually the good kind of carbs that our body needs.

I've read more than a few times that people who eat porridge for breakfast tend to be slim - it's such a good start to the day - very low fat and keeps you full for longer than toast or sugary cereal would.

You don't mention in your post if exercise is playing a role in your weight loss efforts?
If you're just focusing on food at the moment, maybe try to shift that focus to exercise for a while. I'm an absolute fiend for chocolate but I find that when I've worked out, I don't really want to sit and devour a bar of Dairy Milk - I'm more likely to eat it when I'm sitting around doing nothing if that makes sense.

There are a lot of '28 day programmes' popping up in the local gyms around me at the moment where you pay a fee (between €65-99 I've seen) and you get a diet plan, 3 group workouts a week, some have private facebook pages for the members for motivation...would something like this be of help? It may help give you that little kick you seem to want at the moment and if you find it isn't for you, sure it's only 28 days.

Mr. Incognito

Good morning.

It's very very confusing where to start. There's a LOT of misinformation out there and everyone is pushing one agenda or another.

As someone who took many years to get into shape and had to change a lot about my life I learned that the easiest way to change is gradually.

Firstly. Diets.

Diets don't work. Period. Basically what you do is deny or starve your body of something. This leads to irritability, mood swings, starvation and organ damage in extreme cases and when you finish your diet, your body being the clever adapting learning machine that it is stores all this food to prepare for the next famine. Diet regularly and your body will become more efficient at storing sugars and fats making you all but immune to diets.

The secret to eating healthy is not to eat less, but to eat regularly. Have breakfast every day. Items like porridge can release energy during the day and you teach you body that it's okay not to store fats because it's being fed regularly. Also if you know that you have a lunch or dinner coming up you are less likely to snack when a whole day of no food is preying on your mind. So eat, plan your means.

Secondly. Food.

This is the big one. Most processed foods are sugar and salt. Most food is restaurants is laced with butter and oil for flavour. The easiest way (and cheapest) way to eat healthy is to learn to cook simple meals. You dont need to get extreme, learn to cook simple nutricious meals and you will be shocked. Its really enjoyable and does not take a lot of time. Get fresh fruit and veg and make sure you get your meat in a butcher. People will tell you all sorts of crap like avoid potatoes and white bread etc. For me, I switched to brown bread, and now I prefer it. I still eat potatoes on occassion and dont feel one bit guilty about enjoying food because;

Thirdly, Exercise.

Exercise sucks. It's horrible isnt it. So we do what everyone does, we get all the gear, make all the resolutions and kill ourselves in the gym for two hours wake up sore the next day and then pack it in.
There is an easier way and it took me years to figure it out. Exercise less.
That's right. You dont need to kill yourself for two hours. Just go for a short session. 15 minutes if you want. But go, and go regularly. I go at 7 in the morning becuase I work long hours and live near a gym. I started with short cardio but to be honest after three years of barely making a dent I started weight training and my whole body changed in a year. I do a five by five programme where you lift about 80% of as much as you can lift five times by five sets.
To lose weight you can burn calories or eat less. Muscle burns calories. Even when you are resting. So build up some muscle and it will literally burn the fat off you.
The hardest part of going to the gym is from the couch to the front door. As soon as you get through your own front door and you are on the way you will feel great.

Fourthly;
What works for me, or others may not work for you. Try and try again and you will find your own way but I strongly recommend the above.

HalloweenJack

From my experience, changing my eating habits is what helped me lose weight most.

I eat a lot less processed food than I previoulsy did, I eat a lot less red meat and fried foods, smaller portions are a key component too, cutting back on sweets is another one and adding more fruit and healthy food helps me out. I also eat a much smaller dinner than I used to, which I think is another key part as I generally don't do much after I've had dinner so I feel this is the meal that caused me a lot of problems. I also have a "dinner or dessert" rule, which is if I'm in the mood for something sweet and sugary (I love chocolate and ice cream), I'll let myself have it but instead of having dinner, not on top of it.

To give you an example, today I had a cup of coffee with four wheat biscuits for breakfast, for lunch I'm having a grilled chicken breast with pesto sauce and rice and for dinner a yougurt and a small tin of tuna.

I exercise as well but I don't rely on it to keep the weight off. I walk everywhere, I have a dog who needs to be walked three times a day so that's a more fun way of exercising, I play football once a week and try to go for a run a few times a week.

But you're doing very well so far, that sounds like a great amount to have lost. Fair play!

Another important thing is patience. I would love to lose a lot of weight fast but it just doesn't work that way, however since I started readjusting my diet and working hard on it, I've lost about 15kgs. It's great progress but discipline is the most important part of it. It's not going to all fall off straightaway but it will come.

Wellyd

My main advice is take it one meal at a time and then build on it from there. I know a lot of people slate slimming world and other weight loss groups but honestly it has worked for me. I've lost just shy of 5 stone and kept it off. But I think the main part was taking a good look at what I was eating and cooking from scratch and not using jars of sauces. Unfortunately it also meant completely eliminating crisps! But it was worth it.

I know some people say they've tried all different diets but I haven't, I never wanted to lose weight before I joined slimming world. I knew I was really overweight and I didn't care. My doctor annoyed me about it constantly how being overweight was making me sick but I just didn't care. But one day I just said now is the time I want to do it and I've been ploughing away at it for a long time. You have to want to do it for yourself and not for anyone else. I joined a gym a few weeks ago and I'm addicted. I love it. I actually look forward to going and this is coming from a girl that would only walk from the sitting room to the kitchen for more food.

You have 21 meals a week just because you have one bad one doesn't mean the week is ruined. If you have a wobble just make sure your next meal is good. Don't forget the odd treat does no harm either!

LegacyUser

OP as others have said avoid 'diets' - the key is to change your eating habits not deny yourself for a set period as you'll loose weight and then put more back on. The big stumbling block most have is it's not an overnight thing. Theres no quick fix or simple solution. S

tart with changing one bad habit for example if you skip breakfast a lot then focus on eating a good breakfast for several weeks, once that becomes habit focus on the next thing like using a smaller plate - it's all about building habits that become second nature. Cooking your own meals does really help but if you feel your not a great cook or don't have time then invest in a slow cooker - best thing I ever bought. You can make super yum meals with lots of spice and flavor and less sugar and fat plus large amounts you can freeze. I use zip lock bags so I can portion out meals making it easy to defrost just what I need.

meme74

Well done on your weight loss so far, no matter how long it takes to come off it is still a loss and you must congratulate yourself for this.

Use this loss and how it makes you feel as a motivator to keep going. Have little goals in your head such as an event coming up (I know I'm using a family wedding I have coming up in Nov as my motivation at the min) or certain percentage of weight loss that will make you feel like its all worth it.

There are so many different messages out there about weight loss and so many different ways to try and get there but too many mixed messages will only confuse you. You say you've tried WW, slimming world, my fitness pal etc well pick which one of these you are most likely to stick with and concentrate on that. Which one allows you the freedom that you need to realistically continue your weight loss? Which one allows you to eat the food that will keep you feeling satisfied and less likely to binge and feel like you have failed?

Do you exercise? Set small goals such as 3 40 min walks a week and try to meet these goals for a month. If after the month you feel this is doable then add something else like a pilates class or aqua aerobics or whatever would interest you.

Its the small things you do consistently everyday that will make big changes in the long run.

chuckles30

OP - well done on losing 24 pounds. I have been following Weight Watchers since the end of Feb & I have lost 23 pounds in that time, so don't be too hard on yourself. It is better to lose it slowly, but I completely understand how hard it is and how frustrating it can be.

A couple of things I've picked up along the way:

You don't mention how much you think you have left to lose....do you have a goal in mind? Even break it down into smaller goals. 1/2 st loss, getting down into the next st etc. When you reach you're goal, set a new one. You'll feel you have achieved something.

Stick with one plan - as you've already said, they're all different and you'll finish up totally confused.

Write down everything that passes your lips - no matter what plan you're following. Keep your records. Look at the weeks you've lost weight and see what you did/ate those weeks & repeat. Equally, do not repeat the weeks you gained.

Get your head in the right place - this was a big thing for me.

If you have a bad day, draw a line under it and start again.

batmanrobin

OP, I'd be inclined to say forget the diets. Eat smaller portions (can't stress this enough), exercise more. Walking is actually a great way to lose weight. I've seen it work wonders for a few people. You don't have to pound the roads, but start off with a 20 min walk or whatever you're comfortable with and increase by 10 mins each week. Do it every day and coupled with eating right, you'll lose the weight.

Stay positive. You know your trigger for food - it's a form of comfort. Next time you need comfort go for a walk or something. Get out of the house and leave your money at home. The more you associate comfort with something healthy the more it will become second nature.

I know it's difficult but you can do it.

Edit to add: don't deny yourself nice foods. Just buy less chocolate or whatever you like to eat. Be firm with yourself when it comes to treats.

Ms Doubtfire1

the way i approach is seeing it as that we are all creatures of routine.They keep us feeling safe.eating too much is a routine to keep you safe. It FEELS wrong not eating what you are used to and it makes you feel uncomfortable. I quit smoking about a year back and the first week was horrible because I was so used to having a fag with coffee and after food. But that feeling lasted a week. After that it was routine not too...maybe make a schedule when you can eat what and stick to it?And when you exercise and how and stick to that?

quickbeam

You've lost a pound a week. That's perfectly acceptable. Just keep doing whatever you're doing. Diet programs on TV like The Biggest Loser, or Celebrity Fit Club or whatever set unrealistic expectations about what a person is capable of losing - setting targets of 5lbs a week, and berating them when they "only" lose 3lbs. It means that people like you think that you're failing when you're losing 1lb week. You're not!! You're doing fine. Just stop berating yourself so much. Acknowledge that you've done really well so far, reward yourself if you like (plenty of non-food rewards you could chose) and just continue with whatever you've been doing since February.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

silverbolt

problemswithfood wrote: »

Hi all, just looking for some advice here. I am wondering if there has been anyone who had to lose a significant amount of weight and tried multiple times and kept failing, to go on to succeed? I have been trying to lose weight since last Feb. I have lost about 24 lbs so far.. but i could have lost so much more but I just keep "quitting". I am an emotional eater and really rely on chocolate too much. I know I have to change, but I just can't seem to do it. I have tried so many different diets - slimming world, weight waters, counting my macros, my fitness pal, and I'm just so confused on all of them.. like for slimming world you can have porridge for breakfast, but with your macros, porridge is high in carbs and in my eyes, should be avoided. I let myself fail before I have even started. I am trying to love my body as it is, but want it to be better at the same time. I'm just very confused. I live at home and my mum has a problem with her weight and is always going on about losing it, but then does nothing about it. It's not very encouraging. It's really getting to me because last year I was really healthy and felt really good about myself but I am the complete opposite now. I know what I have to do.. but there's just no motivation there! Thanks in advance

Dieting is 80% food and 20% exercise.

there is also so many different diets out there some good, others are ludicrous.

It should also be pointed out that everyones metabolic system is different, but what worked for me was eating properly. Cut out beer, white bread and any kind of processed food (which is really high in salts, sugars and chemical preservatives, flavours and colours) fresh meat, veg and meal size were paramount. You can eat really well with simple meals. I also swam and walked a lot more.

Its also important to remember that its not a bad thing to have a treat, to have an off day.

Your issue is also that you comfort eat which is a psychological problem and I would say your most pressing issue. As long as you turn to food you will caught in a cycle