I'm meant to be happy about my Leaving Cert...

LegacyUser

Hey.

Ever since I got my leaving cert results, all my friends have been distant to me. No replies to my facebook messages, and ignoring me in the class group chat. When I invite them to go to the park or whatever, they just read my message but clearly chatting with others (in group chat).

I feel isolated, like an alien now. I come from a disadvantaged area, and the school isn't known for "college goers". My points are a good 200 higher than the next highest person, I'm a hard worker. Now no one talks to me, and I'm here sitting alone at home with no one to talk to.

It makes me feel depressed. Is this normal in disadvantaged schools? Even my best friends are acting weird. Also, I only told two people in my class what I got for points because they asked. I didn't reveal what I got on social media.

Taltos

Not sure why you are focusing on disadvantaged OP. Jealousy / awkwardness etc know no boundaries.
If you've performed well beyond the norm of your peers then their reaction can be understood.

You've a few choices.
Dwell on it, let it pull you down, and being blunt using language like disadvantaged will only draw the ire of your mates.
Pretend it doesn't exist, plan your next steps in college or elsewhere. So what if they don't reply to you on social media. Look, either they are real friends and need some time or they were never really your friends so losing them needs to be one of those things you learn to rise above.

It's normal to feel down in this situation. Depressed though? That's a loaded word, one you shouldn't use lightly but if you think you are genuinely depressed then you need medical support here and not the advice of anonymous folk on the web.

benjamin d

I experience that reverse snobbery from time to time among certain people where I grew up. It comes from insecurity on their part and there's nothing you're doing or can do to influence it.

It may sound drastic or harsh for me to say this now, but your current world is small and has a particular attitude. Go to college, find your own peers, and within a few months the haters won't even register anymore. Don't let anyone else's low self esteem hold you back.

Rubberchikken

Op
First off congratulations on your results. Im guessing they're the result of hard work and best of luck with the next part of your life.

Im sorry if ypu're feeling left out and if your friends are doing it on purpose through whatever reason, then they and their behaviour is best ignored.
I know, easy for me to say. Can you explain to a parent whats happening. Talking it through with someone who loves you will help.
Best of luck

Ursus Horribilis

Congratulations on your leaving cert results. I hope they'll lead you to get the college place/course/job/whatever that you were looking for.

I'm sorry that you're feeling so down about it though. It's a real shame that you're being treated like this for working hard and achieving something for yourself. It has everything to do with reverse snobbery and the "misery loves company" way of thinking and nothing to do with you as as person.

Short term, it's horrible for you. In the longer term, this probably won't be an issue for you at all. In the coming weeks and months, you'll be moving on to the next stage of your life. One where you'll be meeting lots of new people and making new friends. People you'll have a lot more in common with. And people who probably won't be coming from the same background as your friends. This may surprise you but many people lose contact with their old school friends as they move into their twenties anyway. You'll be changing as a person and so will they. The person you will become and the people they'll become will probably have nothing in common any more.

Could you chat with your mum or dad about this? I bet they are dead proud of you and would hate to think that you're feeling this way. A problem shared is a problem halved.

freshpopcorn

I can't really offer you advice because they are so many possibilities.
I found some people went quite until the CAO offers went out.
Others were just disappointed and barely would talk to their best friend.
Others were just delighted to be finished with school and wanted nothing to do with class again.
Sometimes people are jealous of people getting high points but sometimes people who get high points can act like there number one and really rub people up the wrong way.
If you going to college in September you'll have a chance to make new friends and things might die down in a few days. Others from your class might be feeling the same.

December2012

Maybe these friends are also processing their own options and considering their own future now that they have their Leaving Cert results themselves?

Or are closer to each other?

It has only been a few days. It could be a jump to think you are being dumped

December2012

Maybe these friends are also processing their own options and considering their own future now that they have their Leaving Cert results themselves?

Or are closer to each other?

It has only been a few days. It could be a jump to think you are being dumped

blond45

well done on your results,dont let this upset you anymore than it has done already .move on to your new life cos you will be doing that anyway even if you did no exam .you probely wont see your class mate,s anyway if your going to college..my lad got A2 in Higher Russian he is so proud of it cos as you he worked hard at it.in all he 406,he hasnt seen his class mate,s before or after results,he didnt even go to the Debs,he is now taking a year of to go working and he is now working away from home ,im so proud of my boy, so will you chat to your parents about whats going on in your head, my lad had a melt down after exam,s cos he didnt want to go to college nd thought i would be mad, no i was not mad i got my money back ,it wasnt a problem ..its going to be weird for abit meeting new friends ,just like first day at school again..you will do just grand ,,

blond45

blond45 wrote: »

well done on your results,dont let this upset you anymore than it has done already .move on to your new life cos you will be doing that anyway even if you did no exam .you probely wont see your class mate,s anyway if your going to college..my lad got A2 in Higher Russian he is so proud of it cos as you he worked hard at it.in all he 406,he hasnt seen his class mate,s before or after results,he didnt even go to the Debs,he is now taking a year of to go working and he is now working away from home ,im so proud of my boy, so will you chat to your parents about whats going on in your head, my lad had a melt down after exam,s cos he didnt want to go to college nd thought i would be mad, no i was not mad i got my money back ,it wasnt a problem ..its going to be weird for abit meeting new friends ,just like first day at school again..you will do just grand ,,

please be happy with your results ,you worked hard for it.

LegacyUser

Why care OP? Time to move on, go to college, make new friends. I didn't stay in touch with anyone I went to secondary school with. Go, enjoy college.

silverharp

everyone has it right, when it comes to it in 10 years time you will be struggling to remember some of their names. Its common for school friendships to drift apart unless you end up working together or end up in university. Potentially they want to drag you down or they just realise that you have left them in the dust and they cant be happy for you. By the end of Freshers week you will have a new bunch of buddies.

taytobreath

yep I agree, college life is great and the friends you make in college are the friends for life friends.

good luck

LegacyUser

I don't understand why they would judge you based off of your good points? Perhaps you often said that you were doing no work and that you were terribly fixed for the exams, only to do well and that annoyed them? Even then that wouldn't justify them ignoring you in my opinion.

If they are just bad friends, don't worry. You've obviously got enough points to head to college, do that. You'll meet people there that'll understand you and respect you. Leave the old friends behind if needs be and make new ones that aren't judgemental or jealous.