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Girlfriends Relationship With Exes

  • 19-08-2016 5:04pm
    #1
    Zipp101
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 391 ✭✭


    Like many people I don't have any contact with my exes but my current gf is the opposite.

    While she talks about her family and friends she never mentions her exes, even though she remains "friends" with all of them.

    One of her exes will his head will pop up on her private messages on her phone, so I know that they are in contact.

    Also, he will post things on her FB wall. She never reacts to these posts but I imagine that privately she does. This same guy wrote a book about their relationship where he declared her the love of his life.

    Another one of her exes she met up with without telling me a few months back and she chats to via Whatsapp/Facebook regularly.

    I have no idea what they talk about or what the motive is. Though my gut says both men still have a thing for my gf.

    Her relationship with her exes is definitely an elephant in the room and I don't know how to breach the subject without coming across as jealous or insecure.

    My girlfriend is a friendly girl and would chat to anybody and tells me her past relationships are important to her which I respect. But I'm really not comfortable with it all.

    Any advice would be appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    Smondie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,193 ✭✭✭Smondie


    Remaining friends with exes who still have feelings for her sounds like she loves the attenchion.

    Figure out if you are happy with it or not with it or not and either break up or put up.

    Saying anything is going to come across as jealous and insecure. The secrecy involved in thier conversations and meetings would ring bells. No need for it.


  • #3
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    Is this the same ex your girlfriend met up with in secret before? I don't know what new advice any of us can give you to be honest.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin//showthread.php?t=2057602949&page=4


  • #4
    Yellow pack crisps
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 564 ✭✭✭Yellow pack crisps


    You're human and we all have our little green eyed monster moments but it's how we handle ourselves and those situations that define us.

    The first thing is that it's absolutely ridiculous to be worried about being cheated on as a person will do it if it's in them and nothing you say or do will ever change that.

    The second thing: Honesty.

    Just sit your gf down and say that you really like her and respect her and how she is and how you like that she is a friendly person. Tell her a gf with such close links to exes are a new thing to you and that you feel a bit out of the loop on it all and maybe it could be discussed without judgement on either side just so you can have some insight into it and feel more secure about it. If nothing's going on she won't have a problem doing this and it will show her you are not irrational or overly jealous just a concerned bf.


  • #5
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    OP, you're together less than a year and she's made it impossible to trust her.

    Im not being smart, but it sounds like nothing has changed since your last thread. What more are you looking for? It was pretty unanimous in the last thread that she's mugging you off.


  • #6
    leggo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Yeah, sorry OP, sounds like you've caught a bad 'un. She's a history of lying to you about this stuff and continues to do so. You need to stop making excuses for her.


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  • #7
    coco32
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10 ✭coco32


    There's no need to be in contact with an ex. There's exs!! Done and dusted.


  • #8
    Sound Bite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 788 ✭✭✭Sound Bite


    Is this the same girlfriend op?

    I think if you have to post about a partner more than once, it really is a sign that the relationship has fundamental issues that are unlikely to be resolved.

    Have you taken any of the advice in the previous thread into consideration?

    On the very slight off chance, this is a different girl, you have to start asking yourself why you are attracted to such dramatic, emotionally messed up, women.


  • #9
    silverbolt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 362 ✭✭silverbolt


    I stayed in contact with one ex and it was a nightmare (so was the relationship tbf) - everything i did she questioned and harangued me about everything ESPECIALLY when i was out with women - even though i wasnt dating anyone.

    Eventually when she hit the roof (as i knew she would) after i started dating my partner i got shot of her completely. and im damn glad i did.

    My partner as well does not stay in contact with her exes.

    Its just easier that way.


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