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Do you want your friends to be successful? If so, would you help them get there?

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  • 17-08-2016 6:39am
    #1
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 17,381 ✭


    This isn't about Irish people. I'm posting because of Irish, British and American friends.

    At 28, I've learnt that there's a big difference between helping your friends with moving furniture and helping them succeed.

    I thought it was just drinking buddies who'd be lacking in the help department but in my case, it's been the opposite. The less that people know how much it means to me, the more they help.

    Not going to hold it against them but it's been a bit of an eye-opener. And don't say "get better friends". This seems to be a common thing.


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    #2
    everlast75
    Registered Users Posts: 19,013 ✭✭✭✭everlast75


    Morrissey wouldn't ...


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    #3
    IvyTheTerrible
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,949 ✭✭✭✭IvyTheTerrible


    Of course I do! And I'll help in whatever way I can.

    I had a tough year myself preparing for exams/job competition and friends were really supportive and helpful (and I'm convinced they were a big part of why I succeeded).


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    #4
    batistuta9
    Registered Users Posts: 8,093 ✭✭✭batistuta9


    what are you asking of them?


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    #5
    Shint0
    Registered Users Posts: 1,196 ✭✭✭Shint0


    It's social comparison theory. Some people measure their worth and happiness not just subjectively but against others' perceived success above theirs usually where there are shared similarities rather than being poles apart - similar socioecomomic background, status, levels of intelligence, education., career advancement.

    When one is perceived to be performing better than the other it can make them feel inadequate. Hidden jealousy among friends is more common than people believe i.e. frenemies. Some might even go out of their way to sabotage your success unknowingly to you while appearing to be helpful.


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    #6
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Yes 100%. The more successful they are, the better presents they can buy me


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    #7
    sbsquarepants
    Registered Users Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    Depends - of course i'll help if -

    (A) I actually like them that much (this is quite a small group in my case)
    (B) I have the time / ability / resources and inclination to do so
    (C) It's not costing me somehow. I don't mean financially per se, I mean more like I could be in the park with my kids but I'm not, I'm in in a dingy shed, working, for someone elses benefit:confused:

    You sound very narcissistic, like you believe that you and your success should be the most important factor in your friends lives. Why exactly should they be slaving to help YOU succeed. Surely THEIR success would be more important to them.

    Most people just don't want to spend their precious spare time working for the betterment of someone else. Do your own work!


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