The Art Of Small Talk

The Backwards Man

It's slowly dying away. When you've read the No Smoking notice for the fourteenth time, when you've watched the same ticker heading on Sky News fly past for an eternity, when the moth dancing around the lightbulb finally dies of old age, you finally have fcuk all else to do but chat to your fellow traveller.

'Grand day'

'Aye, grand day'

Tell me you're better at passing the time chatting to a stranger than this.

corner of hells

The Backwards Man wrote: »

It's slowly dying away. When you've read the No Smoking notice for the fourteenth time, when you've watched the same ticker heading on Sky News fly past for an eternity, when the moth dancing around the lightbulb finally dies of old age, you finally have fcuk all else to do but chat to your fellow traveller.

'Grand day'

'Aye, grand day'

Tell me you're better at passing the time chatting to a stranger than this.

Any spare change ?

Turtyturd

Am great at small talk and can always think of the right thing to say.


















About 10 minutes after the conversation has finished.

The Backwards Man

corner of hells wrote: »

Any spare change ?

I think you're looking for The Art Of Nonsense Talk thread, it's further down.

Widdershins

People are too busy wIth their phones to engage in small talk!

The Art of Noise.

riffmongous

Sport always works, especially now with the olympics on

The Backwards Man

riffmongous wrote: »

Sport always works, especially now with the olympics on

'Jesus, the Yanks gave the Brazilians some hammering in the water polo today didn't they?'

Hill sheep farmer; 'Wha?'!

riffmongous

The Backwards Man wrote: »

'Jesus, the Yanks gave the Brazilians some hammering in the water polo today didn't they?'

Hill sheep farmer; 'Wha?'!

Or you know the boxing

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I'm great at small talk, so much so that I probably struggle with an actual deep conversation now. I prefer keeping things light.

The Backwards Man

riffmongous wrote: »

Or you know the boxing

Crowd of pansies. There were 57 of us watching the rumble in the jungle on a wee black and white TV with no picture, now that was boxing!

maudgonner

How's she cuttin'?




Sorry, had to be done.

Robsweezie

So how's your sex life?

Xaracatz

The Backwards Man wrote: »

'Jesus, the Yanks gave the Brazilians some hammering in the water polo today didn't they?'

Hill sheep farmer; 'Wha?'!

Just tell the Hill Sheep Farmer that you've mentioned him on boards.ie. See what happens next.

The Backwards Man

Robsweezie wrote: »

So how's your sex life?

Next time I'm in an NCT waiting room I'll be sure to use that one

Canis Lupus

I'm not terrible at it unless someone asks me 'about the game'. Then I'm full on IT Crowd. It's actually annoying that 'small talk' for such a large percentage of men is talking about other men kicking a ball about a field.

riffmongous

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Crowd of pansies. There were 57 of us watching the rumble in the jungle on a wee black and white TV with no picture, now that was boxing!

Yeah, yeah... yeah.. sorry I have to go take a call

cantdecide

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I'm not terrible at it unless someone asks me 'about the game'.

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?


I'm crap at small talk. I'm crap at chit chat. I think this explains why I'm single to a large degree. That and my fascinating skin diseases.

I am very good at small talk although I don't always enjoy it. Depends on the situation really. One good thing about it is watching others respond positively and warmly when you engage them a little. I like that

Just ask her about her last holiday... that'll keep her going for ages... and then prompt her on where she wants to go next.. ages more... and then ask her opinion on any destination... ages more. Make appropiate noises (no grunting).

There you go.

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Just ask her about her last holiday... that'll keep her going for ages... and then prompt her on where she wants to go next.. ages more... and then ask her opinion on any destination... ages more. Make appropiate noises (no grunting).

There you go.

What if she's the type of girl who wants to be asked her opinion on Carl Sagan and should we maybe leave Putin to his own *devices?

Pun not intended*

Junkyard Tom

I'm competent at engaging in small talk but I'd much rather not.

That's it.

Move on to the next post please.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

What if she's the type of girl who wants to be asked her opinion on Carl Sagan and should we maybe leave Putin to his own *devices?

Pun not intended*

Didn't figure political discussions to be small talk. Holidays/travel is something all women love to talk about.. it's risk free. :D

Stigura

Fcuk all that! It's Tuesday; Just whip out the Farmers Journal and crack into those Crosswords!

" 7 Across: Hellish load for a postman."

Guaranteed to break the ice !

Buford T. Justice XIX

Stigura wrote: »

Fcuk all that! It's Tuesday; Just whip out the Farmers Journal and crack into those Crosswords!

" 7 Across: Hellish load for a postman."

Guaranteed to break the ice !

Thursday!

Thursday is Farmers Journal day.

Amateur.....:pac:

smash

"How are you?"

"Good. How are you?"

"Good. How are you? ... d'oh"

Irish Guitarist

There's great drying out.

Pete Moss

To me, there's certain topics to hit when small talk is required:

Weather
Politics
Current Affairs (Not mine, but I usually mention when I know the wife's been cheating.)
Traffic
Road Works
Sport

Sometimes starting a small talk conversation can be a nightmare, particularly with taxi drivers. I mean, there's so many taxi drivers who could talk for Ireland, the second you get in their car they're off and have a great knack for small talk. Then there's the other ones who ignore any effort of small talk. I'm grand with sitting in silence, but I'd like to know which taxi drivers are chatty and which aren't. There should be some indication on their roof signs: "TALKING TAXI" or "STFU TAXI".

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Didn't figure political discussions to be small talk. Holidays/travel is something all women love to talk about.. it's risk free. :D

They're not but damn I couldn't hold a conversation about holidays without my eyes glazing over

Badly Drunk Boy

Deleted User wrote: »

They're not but damn I couldn't hold a conversation about holidays without my eyes glazing over

Is that because you've had bad holiday experiences, don't go on holidays, or just really, really want to talk about Carl Sagan? :pac:

Widdershins

Stigura wrote: »

Fcuk all that! It's Tuesday; Just whip out the Farmers Journal and crack into those Crosswords!

" 7 Across: Hellish load for a postman."

Guaranteed to break the ice !

That's a tough one. Is it real and what was the answer?

Badly Drunk Boy

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

Is that because you've had bad holiday experiences, don't go on holidays, or just really, really want to talk about Carl Sagan? :pac:

Carl Sagan trumps holiday talk everytime

I love having random chats with total strangers. It's nice to connect to your fellow humanity now and then. I've had great chats with people in queues, on transport, in stores, beaches, at every kind of event.

Lots of the time it's fairly small talk and I usually wind up looking at pictures of pets, kids or grandkids, or hearing about some random family issue and getting caught up in some strangers life and walking away at the end hoping for the best for them. Sometimes you walk away knowing more about life than you did before you started. Those are the best chats.

Stigura

Stigura wrote: »

" 7 Across: Hellish load for a postman."

Widdershins wrote: »

That's a tough one. Is it real and what was the answer?

You're supposed to ask, " How many letters? "

Much hilarity ensues!

Widdershins

Stigura wrote: »

You're supposed to ask, " How many letters? "

Much hilarity ensues!

*Face palm*

Agricola

Love a bit of the auld small talk meself.

"So, the heat death of the universe eh..... some dose!"

Not big in to sport but not disinterested either, anyway I work with some who is big in to sport one day as a conversation opener they said to me 'so what did your husband think of the match'.. made me laugh, talk about desperate for a conversation about sport!

Stigura

Buford T. Justice V wrote: »

Thursday!

Thursday is Farmers Journal day.

Amateur.....:pac:

I Am SO Mortified!!! :eek:

Read that. Didn't know what the hell ye were talking about. " I'll bloody show him! " I thought. " Off into town in a minute. Tuesday. Like I always do. Pick up the Farmers Journal ~ for the crosswords. Like I always do. Scan the bugger and pop it up here! "

Onto my high horse and rode into town.

Looked, in the paper shop. " Where's the Farmers Journal? " I asked the girl. " Oh," She says. " That doesn't come out till Thursday. " I couldn't believe my ear! Then, I realised; I must have been buying last weeks paper, left over from Thursday. But, why were there none left today? There were always piles of them .....

I slunk off, back to the pub. Turmoil.

Mentioned to the land lady how I'd failed to get a paper, to do the crosswords with the bar maid. How they said the FJ came out on Thursdays. Phil' looked at me as though I'd just coughed up a live trout.

" No, " She said. " You and Marion do the crosswords in the Tuesdays Independent. One's in the farming supplement. "

I crept back to the news agents, head bowed in shame. Tonight, I shall lash my bare back, twenty times, with stinging nettles. Repeating, at each stroke: " I am a ring piece. I am a ring piece. I ..... "

ToddyDoody

"Who's on your hitlist these days?", Always gets people talking.

Poochie05

Just pick any AH thread title, that should keep you going for ages!

pauliebdub

I'm good at it up to a point. At work quite a lot of men are uninterested in sport so I'd struggle to think of stuff to say, wanting to avoid politics and current affairs as it might mean I have to listen to a rant.

tomwaterford

Something I been trying hard at lately....being more small talking person at tea time etc






Whoever said people love to talk about themselves are right to a certain degree..

...but never accounted for politeness where they ask you stuff back and decends into tumbleweed territory quickly then with me

Olishi4

Im grand with small talk for example when standing at a bus stop or in a taxi or the checkout person where i never have to see them again but the small talk with the neighbour when youre going in and out of the house where you say the same thing whenever you see them is pretty painful.

It's like you step out the door and then see them and think "oh ****...did they notice me?....is it possible to retreat back into the house?"