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The Art Of Small Talk

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  • 15-08-2016 11:46pm
    #1
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭


    It's slowly dying away. When you've read the No Smoking notice for the fourteenth time, when you've watched the same ticker heading on Sky News fly past for an eternity, when the moth dancing around the lightbulb finally dies of old age, you finally have fcuk all else to do but chat to your fellow traveller.

    'Grand day'

    'Aye, grand day'

    Tell me you're better at passing the time chatting to a stranger than this.


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    #2
    corner of hells
    Registered Users Posts: 8,358 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    It's slowly dying away. When you've read the No Smoking notice for the fourteenth time, when you've watched the same ticker heading on Sky News fly past for an eternity, when the moth dancing around the lightbulb finally dies of old age, you finally have fcuk all else to do but chat to your fellow traveller.

    'Grand day'

    'Aye, grand day'

    Tell me you're better at passing the time chatting to a stranger than this.

    Any spare change ?


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    #3
    Turtyturd
    Registered Users Posts: 28,394 ✭✭✭✭Turtyturd


    Am great at small talk and can always think of the right thing to say.


















    About 10 minutes after the conversation has finished.


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    #4
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    corner of hells wrote: »
    Any spare change ?

    I think you're looking for The Art Of Nonsense Talk thread, it's further down. :)


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    #5
    Widdershins
    Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    People are too busy wIth their phones to engage in small talk!


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    #6
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    The Art of Noise.


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    #7
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,629 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    Sport always works, especially now with the olympics on


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    #8
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    riffmongous wrote: »
    Sport always works, especially now with the olympics on

    'Jesus, the Yanks gave the Brazilians some hammering in the water polo today didn't they?'

    Hill sheep farmer; 'Wha?'!


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    #9
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,629 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    'Jesus, the Yanks gave the Brazilians some hammering in the water polo today didn't they?'

    Hill sheep farmer; 'Wha?'!

    Or you know the boxing


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    #10
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    I'm great at small talk, so much so that I probably struggle with an actual deep conversation now. I prefer keeping things light.


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    #11
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    riffmongous wrote: »
    Or you know the boxing

    Crowd of pansies. There were 57 of us watching the rumble in the jungle on a wee black and white TV with no picture, now that was boxing!


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    #12
    maudgonner
    Registered Users Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    How's she cuttin'?




    Sorry, had to be done. :o


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    #13
    Robsweezie
    Registered Users Posts: 3,434 ✭✭✭Robsweezie


    So how's your sex life?


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    #14
    Xaracatz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 702 ✭✭✭Xaracatz


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    'Jesus, the Yanks gave the Brazilians some hammering in the water polo today didn't they?'

    Hill sheep farmer; 'Wha?'!

    Just tell the Hill Sheep Farmer that you've mentioned him on boards.ie. See what happens next.


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    #15
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    Robsweezie wrote: »
    So how's your sex life?

    Next time I'm in an NCT waiting room I'll be sure to use that one :)


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    #16
    Canis Lupus
    Registered Users Posts: 9,893 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    I'm not terrible at it unless someone asks me 'about the game'. Then I'm full on IT Crowd. It's actually annoying that 'small talk' for such a large percentage of men is talking about other men kicking a ball about a field.


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    #17
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,629 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    Crowd of pansies. There were 57 of us watching the rumble in the jungle on a wee black and white TV with no picture, now that was boxing!

    Yeah, yeah... yeah.. sorry I have to go take a call


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    #18
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    Canis Lupus wrote: »
    I'm not terrible at it unless someone asks me 'about the game'.

    Did you see that ludicrous display last night?


    I'm crap at small talk. I'm crap at chit chat. I think this explains why I'm single to a large degree. That and my fascinating skin diseases.


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    #19
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I am very good at small talk although I don't always enjoy it. Depends on the situation really. One good thing about it is watching others respond positively and warmly when you engage them a little. I like that :)


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    #20
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Just ask her about her last holiday... that'll keep her going for ages... and then prompt her on where she wants to go next.. ages more... and then ask her opinion on any destination... ages more. Make appropiate noises (no grunting).

    There you go.


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    #21
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Just ask her about her last holiday... that'll keep her going for ages... and then prompt her on where she wants to go next.. ages more... and then ask her opinion on any destination... ages more. Make appropiate noises (no grunting).

    There you go.

    What if she's the type of girl who wants to be asked her opinion on Carl Sagan and should we maybe leave Putin to his own *devices?

    Pun not intended*


    :p


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    #22
    Junkyard Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,117 ✭✭✭✭Junkyard Tom


    I'm competent at engaging in small talk but I'd much rather not.

    That's it.

    Move on to the next post please.


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    #23
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Deleted User wrote: »
    What if she's the type of girl who wants to be asked her opinion on Carl Sagan and should we maybe leave Putin to his own *devices?

    Pun not intended*


    :p

    Didn't figure political discussions to be small talk. Holidays/travel is something all women love to talk about.. it's risk free. ;):D


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    #24
    Stigura
    Registered Users Posts: 3,411 ✭✭✭Stigura


    Fcuk all that! It's Tuesday; Just whip out the Farmers Journal and crack into those Crosswords!

    " 7 Across: Hellish load for a postman."

    Guaranteed to break the ice ! :D


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    #25
    Buford T. Justice XIX
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,633 ✭✭✭✭Buford T. Justice XIX


    Stigura wrote: »
    Fcuk all that! It's Tuesday; Just whip out the Farmers Journal and crack into those Crosswords!

    " 7 Across: Hellish load for a postman."

    Guaranteed to break the ice ! :D
    Thursday!

    Thursday is Farmers Journal day.

    Amateur.....:pac:


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    #26
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    "How are you?"

    "Good. How are you?"

    "Good. How are you? ... d'oh"


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    #27
    Irish Guitarist
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,736 ✭✭✭Irish Guitarist


    There's great drying out.


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    #28
    Pete Moss
    Registered Users Posts: 605 ✭✭✭Pete Moss


    To me, there's certain topics to hit when small talk is required:

    Weather
    Politics
    Current Affairs (Not mine, but I usually mention when I know the wife's been cheating.)
    Traffic
    Road Works
    Sport

    Sometimes starting a small talk conversation can be a nightmare, particularly with taxi drivers. I mean, there's so many taxi drivers who could talk for Ireland, the second you get in their car they're off and have a great knack for small talk. Then there's the other ones who ignore any effort of small talk. I'm grand with sitting in silence, but I'd like to know which taxi drivers are chatty and which aren't. There should be some indication on their roof signs: "TALKING TAXI" or "STFU TAXI".


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    #29
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Didn't figure political discussions to be small talk. Holidays/travel is something all women love to talk about.. it's risk free. ;):D

    They're not but damn I couldn't hold a conversation about holidays without my eyes glazing over :p


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    #30
    Badly Drunk Boy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,458 ✭✭✭Badly Drunk Boy


    Deleted User wrote: »
    They're not but damn I couldn't hold a conversation about holidays without my eyes glazing over :p
    Is that because you've had bad holiday experiences, don't go on holidays, or just really, really want to talk about Carl Sagan? :pac:


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    #31
    Widdershins
    Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Stigura wrote: »
    Fcuk all that! It's Tuesday; Just whip out the Farmers Journal and crack into those Crosswords!

    " 7 Across: Hellish load for a postman."

    Guaranteed to break the ice ! :D

    That's a tough one. Is it real and what was the answer?


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