People in relationships chatting others up

Specialun

So i had this big debate with my mate last night

His of the opinion that men shouldnt chat women up when out if their in a relationship..even if they dont follow through and do nothing

I think if its the case that your not going to do anything then whats the big issue..in theory you're just chatting

Whats your opinion ah

PowerToWait

Men and women can chat without an agenda surely.

Grandeeod

PowerToWait wrote: »

Men and women can chat without an agenda surely.

That's not what the OP said. He used the phrase "chatting up". Different to just chatting.

recylingbin

People in glasshouses shouldn't throw their stones into another glasshouse.

smash

Specialun wrote: »

I think if its the case that your not going to do anything then whats the big issue..in theory you're just chatting

But if women do it they're called a prick tease...

recylingbin wrote: »

People in glasshouses shouldn't throw their stones into another glasshouse.

I'm unsure if you deliberately fcuked that up or not.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

You can chat to and be friends with whoever you want as long as they're not taking priority over your relationship

Alf Stewart.

Its fairly simple.

If you're chattin to a member of the opposite sex in a manner you wouldn't do should your spouse be sat right next to them......

Its prob a safe bet that you shouldn't be.

My Mrs doesn't get jealous much, but I'm sure me biggin up another ones who in the pub, while staring dreaming into their eyes (or cleavage) would prob be pushin it a bit.

However if someone is in a relationship where it's no biggie, chat/screw/whatever till your hearts content.

Widdershins

Unless in an open relationship of some kind, don't flirt or send any kind of mixed signals to others. It's bad form and why would you do it?

That's what your partner is for.

Duff

As long as your thinking with your correct head.

AllGunsBlazing

Duff wrote: »

As long as your thinking with your correct head.

Exactly!

Eh, which is the correct one again?:o

Your Face

Our reaction to this grave crisis will be judged, not just in our times but in the generations to come.

Tom_Barry

I think chatting someone up when in a relationship is the height of disrespect. I wouldn't entertain it if I was in a relationship and he tried chatting others up.

Chatting or flirting... there is a difference. Most of my friends are female... I'm not going to stop being friends with them just because I get a girlfriend. However, I'll only flirt with my girlfriend. (If I'm single, I flirt with most girls/women)

wakka12

Its a bit disrespectful to your partner if theyre not aware of it. I know partners who trust each other well and flirt with others and are aware of it and theyre still happy together so it depends on your set up

s4uv3

Bit lousy to chat someone up when you've no interest in getting with them.
They could be rightly into you.
It's also really disrespectful to your own partner.

mzungu

Chatting to - Fine
Chatting up - No

Unless of course there is some arrangement within the relationship. Otherwise it would be disrespectful on the partner.

PARlance

mzungu wrote: »

Chatting to - Fine
Chatting up - No

Unless of course there is some arrangement within the relationship. Otherwise it would be disrespectful on the partner.

The problem is that it's hard to tell the difference for some when there is drink on board.

Stigura

I have a simple self rule; I only chat to women I don't fancy

Those who I do fancy? I just fix them with a penetrating stare, from across the room, whilst openly kneading my groin.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

mzungu wrote: »

Chatting to - Fine
Chatting up - No

Unless of course there is some arrangement within the relationship. Otherwise it would be disrespectful on the partner.

Peoples opinions differ on that. For example, I could be chatting away to you, no interest in you whatsoever, and then be accused of flirting with you. Sometimes people read into something that wasn't there

Gen.Zhukov

I've seen it loads of times and certainly with blokes, it's a mixture of male competitiveness and insecurity with a dash of ego boosting.

2 blokes I know in particular do it any chance they get.

First guy is married with 2 kids. He lives literally 30 mtrs across the road from the local where he is known well and therefore if he were to go offside, he'd be hung within a few hours. Doesn't stop him butting into a conversation between two singles that may have the possibility of shifting and f'ing it up for everyone.
Dunno what he gets from that. Maybe he goes home and convinces himself that he could have ' if he'd really wanted to '.

Other guy is in a LTR and would/has gone offside at the bat of an eyelid. Same MO as first bloke but would follow through.

Both ****.

mzungu

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Peoples opinions differ on that. For example, I could be chatting away to you, no interest in you whatsoever, and then be accused of flirting with you. Sometimes people read into something that wasn't there

Ah no, my post was referring to somebody who is in a relationship chatting somebody up with full intent to lead them on, and also having a significant other who is unaware. I think that is bad form.

What you posted above is totally fine, If somebody misreads an harmless chat as something else, well that is their issue as they misread the situation completely.

Two very different scenarios.

B.A._Baracus

It is wrong to flirt with another if you are in a relationship. It is all about context and the individual knows what that context really is. Despite what we may spin it as (after all, if you're just giving your number out without anything behind it you know that to be the case, while if you fancy someone and that's the real reason... well you can't deny that to yourself either)

Personally I think that saying of "flirting without intention" is all bollocks too. Many a co-workers have had sex after the christmas party or drinks in the pub. Usually followed by ".. it... it just happened out of no where!" - No, it didn't just happen out of no-where. Two people were flirting back and fourth and it built-up.

But a lot of people like to say it's harmless as makes you feel good? But what's the end result? you accept their advances (which makes you a cheater as you are in a relationship) or you decline their advances (which makes you look like you were leading them on)

So what is flirting without intention?
In actual fact, if given the chance I would? or ego-stroking?

I don't know where all you theorists are getting the energy to even think about chatting up somebody. You need kids to sort this hypothetical silliness of yours out. Yours, lying on the floor next to a cot on and off since 4:30am.

minikin

You shouldn't lie on the cot, even intermittently, you could squish the baby.

Regarding the topic at hand - do what you want so long as you're prepared to face the consequences, if her mother tells her you were trying it on.

stateofflux

Tom_Barry wrote: »

I think chatting someone up when in a relationship is the height of disrespect. I wouldn't entertain it if I was in a relationship and he tried chatting others up.

What about casual flirting?. a womans attraction to a man increases if he is desired by other women and subtly displays his ability to stray (but doesn't)

Tom_Barry

stateofflux wrote: »

What about casual flirting?. a womans attraction to a man increases if he is desired by other women and subtly displays his ability to stray (but doesn't)

I disagree , What is casual flirting? flirting is flirting. Also I can hand on heart say that an attraction to a man for me DECREASES if he subtly displays his ability to stray, even if he doesnt.

Esel

stateofflux wrote: »

What about casual flirting?. a womans attraction to a man increases if he is desired by other women and subtly displays his ability to stray (but doesn't)

Dafug?

How *you* doing?