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Advice needed long term relationship

  • 14-08-2016 10:54am
    #1
    Nox88
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1 ✭


    Hi, bit of back story I have been with my oh for 8 years I'm 28 and they are 34 2 kids one from previous relationship. My issue is my oh has no drive to do anything they haven't worked since 2011 since we were pregnant with our baby - I have been working all this time and am still working paying all the bills while they are more interested in becoming a pro gamer or steamer they do have a security course done that they only did because the dole made them do it or they would be cut off they are not even looking for work. I can't talk to them because I'll been seen as attacking them and picking out all their faults or what happens most of the time is that I get ignored and then if I get upset I'm told I'm emotional and need to cop on and not let the kids see me like this, they often try to take anger out on the kids but I make sure and try to take the brunt of it for them but I'm gone from 8-6 Mon to Fri and some evenings I come home to the kids being upset from them being given out to for the smallest of things I don't think they understand that this will affect the kids in the future. I feel completely alone and burdend with all the financial stress of my wages every month after all the bills are paid I have maybe max of 300 to keep us all going for the month. Worst part is even if I wanted to leave of which I have wanted to do I have nowhere to go no family to support me. Has anyone else been in a similar position that could offer some advice?


Comments

  • #2
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    Hey op, I'm very sorry for what you're going through. It sounds absolutely horrible :(


    First things first, you have got to protect your kids. You cannot allow them to grow up with a parent who takes their anger out on innocent children. That's abuse and that's what your children will grow up thinking is normal, acceptable behaviour. That's not okay.


    You say you can't leave and you're struggling financially. Seems to me you'd probably be better off without your partner though? No massive electricity bill from their gaming, possibly you could downsize your home if it's rented, etc.


    Your first duty of care is to your children, and right now their parent is being abusive. You need to seek legal advice because if you've been living together for 2 years with kids, there are cohabitation rights afforded to your partner.

    Please seek legal advice, and if your partner takes his anger out on you like they do to your kids, perhaps ring Women's Aid or AMEN (domestic abuse/violence charities, one for men and one for women).


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