Finding it harder and harder to meet someone

Glasscandy

Hey everyone

I know most of you have probably heard this hundreds of times but just want to hear what it's like for other people out there on the dating scene. This is my first post here so don't want to blabber on haha. Anyway a little background on me. I'm in my early 30's, single, gay, female. I've had long term relationships with women but have been single with over a year.

After my last relationship, which wasn't long really I said I would take some time out. I went on a few dates but nothing major. These dates for me were more on a friendship basis. I wasn't into the girls but if I click with someone and they are sound I'm happy to make another friend.

As time has passed though I'm coming to the realisation that it's becoming harder and harder to meet people that you have that click with. I see all my friends settling down with their partners of years and I'm starting to think will I ever meet anyone. I have a great family and friends but feel that their are other parts that are missing. I'm not feeling down over this or anything. Just want to know what other people's experiences and feelings are on this? I haven't tried tinder because I know it's not my thing, nor do I venture out onto the scene anymore😊

Dicethrow

Thanks for that I could have written your message myself I know exactly what you mean. I am a forty year old gay woman and I too find it very difficult to meet people I did the online dating for a while but I found it a pretty disappointing experience and well in short I just don't think it's for me as for the scene I tried it over the years but never really connected to it so i find it leaves me in a kind of limbo regarding meeting people like yourself I also have good people in my life but feel I would like to meet someone I connect with and feel a spark for but struggling with where to meet such people. Glad to hear I am not alone though and thanks for your honesty

Almond87

Hey both! For sure it's not easy at all. I'm a gay male in my late 20s, have been living in Dublin for almost two years and (only based on my experience and the experiences of others who shared the same thing) I can confirm it's not easy at all. It's unfair to generalize, but Ireland is not an easy place to date people. I'm mostly referring to the online dating (OkCupid, Grindr etc.). Long story short, the following are the things I'm completely disappointed by when it comes to organizing a date with someone: users often barely reply (they usually need time to write basic stuff), they are almost never on time and they are not very straightforward either. Also, having endless chats is not really my cup of tea either. This is not necessarily typically to Ireland, but to the rest of Europe as well (many parts of Germany, Eastern Europe, The Netherlands, France etc.). Probably something more typical to Ireland is the lack of punctuality, but then the Irish politeness (which by the way, I really love) pays off and you don't really get the same level of politeness elsewhere (again, with significant exceptions).

Bottom line, dating in Europe sucks from all these reasons. And no, I know it's not me, as I know I'm a sound and very easygoing guy and had way more success in the USA, as the Americans have always been much more meeting oriented than the Europeans, regardless of whether you set everything online or through other channels.

Just my $0.02.

liquoriceall

Mid 30s gay woman here too and find it next to impossible! Thought it was easier in Dublin but doesn't look like from what ye are saying...
Sorry no solution for you 😕

Fleawuss

There are a wealth of meeting resources and great support available. You should Start with Google: you will find them much quicker than posting here which could take hours or days for s response.
www.google.ie

Glasscandy

Hey all,
Thanks for taking time out to write. Obviously have checked all the different resources available and there isn't much at all. Looking to meet someone, not support as I have that from friends and family. I thought there would be more options available to people in Dublin? But from what I've read here it pretty much sounds the same, I'm based in Cork!

Annasopra

OP there are resources - I wouldn't personally dismiss "support" like you do either. Linc in particular could really have resources you could do with but dismissing out of hand isnt a good idea.

I think Running Amach do Cork events. Find them on meetup.com. I found two other lgbt womens cork groups well on meetip.com

Linc has a drop in centre and they do loads of things from there. See www.linc.ie

Glasscandy

Thanks a million for that Joey. I know about Linc alright but didn't know about the running Amach group in Cork. Appreciate you taking time out to tell me... Cheers🙂

Annasopra

Glasscandy wrote: »

Thanks a million for that Joey. I know about Linc alright but didn't know about the running Amach group in Cork. Appreciate you taking time out to tell me... Cheers🙂

I hope I'm not being rude but Linc do things like badminton and other social events. I really wouldnt be so quick to rule it out.

LegacyUser

Hey glass candy and others
Just reading your messages and strange as it might it gives me hope that I am not the only one who struggles with meeting people and fitting into the scene I also have tried the resources over the years and not to dismiss them but they don't do it for me I can be a bit quiet till I feel comfortable with people and I struggle sometimes with this stuff. I like that this can be an honest conversation where it's ok to say that meeting people can be hard and maybe the resources that are out there might not be for everyone and that's ok - thanks ... I don't feel like I am the only one

Dicethrow

Hi glasscandy and all
Just reading the messages posted and strange to say it gives me a little hope that I am not the only one who struggles with the resources out there and meeting people. I have tried the resources over the years and while I don't dismiss them they don't do much for me it's great they are there but for me they don't help much - that's not a criticism it's just how I feel I wish there was some kind of alternative and it's great to know I am not the only one who feels this way
Thanks all

Glasscandy

Hey Dicethrow

I agree with you on that one. Do you mind me asking what part of the country you're living in?

Annasopra

We have an informal drinks on August 27th if any of you are interested

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057629208

Dicethrow

No don't mind at all I am based in cork

Glasscandy

Thanks Joey but won't be able to make it to Dublin. Another time maybe😊
Dicethrow i'm in Cork too. It would be cool if we could get another few from here around Cork etc to meet up for a coffee/drink. Pm me if you are on for that🙂

Dicethrow

Glasscandy- yeah that sounds like a good idea I would be up for that I think. We should try arrange something

Annasopra

Glasscandy, Dicethrow - here's some more resources for you

https://www.meetup.com/Cork-Lipstick-Lesbians-Meetup/
https://www.meetup.com/Vixens-Rainbow/
http://us7.campaign-archive2.com/?u=f6ae820d90890be21c96c8ec4&id=e8ca09c23c (FYI Linc has lots of things on other than "support" drinks, badminton, mystery tours etc)

Almond87

Hey Joeytheparrot,

Any similar resources for Dublin? Probably they were posted on different threads and I missed them, just let me know if there's any post on this.


Thanks a mill!