Giving up my only pleasure in life today - drink!

LegacyUser

If my younger self ever saw what I've become, she'd be appalled! Here I am, early 40s, living alone with spiders in a messy rented apartment (cleaning cobwebs upsets the spiders), FAT, losing contact with friends (because I don't want them to see how fat and pathetic I've become), crappy, dead-end job I could do with my eyes closed, no plans, no idea on how to make anything better.

I drink a bottle of wine every evening and have done so for at least 3 years ... maybe more? (and lately it's been creeping over that quantity). I love it so much! It feels like getting a huge, snuggly bear hug when I take that first sip (and I can't actually remember the last time I got a real hug so that's quite nice for me.)

I get up every morning and go to work and fulfil my responsibilities and don't let anyone down, but I know this cannot go on much longer before my liver does a Thelma & Louise on me. I'm exhausted and foggy-brained all the time and I get no pleasure any more from the things I used to enjoy - and I know that the alcohol HAS to be to blame for at least some of my dour and hopeless outlook on life...

So, today I've decided (as I have decided every day for at least the last 6 months) that I'm not going to drink tonight. I'm wondering if I can manage to stop drinking if that will turn some switch in my brain so I can feel something other than this cliched hopelessness.

I keep making this resolution and then find myself buying wine on autopilot in the supermarket on the way home from work ... so today, in the spirit of public commitments being more likely to be fulfilled, I'm writing this out and facing up to the fact that I'm going to make myself sick if I keep going like this. And if I don't get sick, then the latest statistics indicate that I've got at least another 50 years of being alive left - and another 50 years in this loop of boredom/drink/guilt/boredom/drink/guilt... it just doesn't bear thinking about.

Sorry, for the length of this and I know I don't seem to be asking for advice here - I think its because I KNOW what I need to do, and I know why I need to do it, but people here are usually very kind and supportive and I just think I need to say this (type this!) to someone to make it real. Thank you.

HalloweenJack

Best of luck. At least you're aware of your problem and know what you need to do.

Don't be afraid to reach out and get some help, either.

Shybride2016

The first step is recognising and acknowledging that you have a problem. You've done that, so well done.

It sounds like it's a habit you've gotten yourself into and it's worsened progressively. Can you change your evening routine so that you're either not at home to drink or take up a hobby or activity that involves you using your hands so you don't feel the need to hold the glass?

A walk/run in the evening? With a friend? Cinema, coffee etc. You mention you've lost touch with friends. Is there even one you'd feel comfortable reaching out to and confiding in? Maybe you could ask them to join you for a walk in the evening?

When I'm at home in the evening I stuff my face with junk food. I don't even register it tbh, I watch tv and eat crap. A few weeks ago a friend bought me one of those mindfulness colouring books - they're a fantastic distraction as you have to hold the pencil and concentrate really hard on what you're doing. Helps you forget about the world for a while at least!

Don't be afraid to go to your GP either if you feel you need support. They'd be more than happy to help you I'm sure.

I find alcohol definitely makes my mood less happy so you'll probably notice a change in you once you've a few days/weeks drink-free. Better mood, better sleep pattern, healthier skin and more energy. It'll be tough but totally worth it. You've only one life, why not make it as happy and enjoyable as you can? Best of luck on your journey.

Big Bag of Chips

You can do it, but you'll probably need to substitute it with something. If you live alone and drink every night, then staying in doing nothing will quickly lead to you opening a bottle of wine. There's a 'Non-Drinkers' forum here where many of the posters are in the process of giving it up. It might be worth a look in to get some advice and a bit of support from others in the same position as yourself.

It can be done.

Sound Bite

Fair play op. You're drinking seems to really be worsened due to boredom - until you've gotten over the worst of it you need to put a plan in place. Substitute below for what interests you:

Monday - Cinema night
Tuesday - Volunteer (plenty of choice on volunteer.ie
Wednesday - Exercise/even a long walk if you don't fancy joining a class
Thursday - take a course, something interesting yet easy that won't add to stress levels - cookery, photography, a language, coding etc
Friday - meet up with someone, old friend, new friend, family, networking event

Most people struggle with too little time. You have a wonderful opportunity in that you have loads. You could upskill, new hobbies, etc - endless opportunity

JeffKenna

Best of luck OP

LegacyUser

Hi there, I'm a single woman of similar age( going unreg for this) and I coukd have written your post even down to disturbing spiders...Recently I counted that I had drank 31 bottles of wine in a month and that habit had gone on too long.

You are caught in a vicious cycle, the wine is making you bloated, so you won't go out cause you're fat, so you drink more and get more bored and fatter!

It's pure boredom. I read an article from a woman who was an alcoholic ( same type of situation irinically) and she said the danger point was coming home from work. If you don't drink within 2 hours of coming in, then you won't. So you need to give yourself something to do, even if it means going straight there after work! I joined a gym and class us at 7, so I go there in way home. By time I get home, it's about 9.30 so I'm not bothered drinking.

Tuns replacing direction and focus. Ok so your job might not be the most exciting? Woukd you consider ups killing or doing an evening course? Alternatively, focus on your weight. Give yourself a target. There is nothing like a task to get yourself focussed.

I totally get where you are coming from, I think it is a bigger problem for women in that situation then people realise!!! Good luck with it.

via4

I like sound bites advice on filling the week with activities , I'm not the greatest person to give advice on this topic but maybe this little tip might help you I noticed you said you go into autopilot and get a bottle in the supermarket I wonder if you ordered your shopping online for a few weeks would that curb that habit a little? I seen the program before about drugs it said it was the ritual of scoring that was hard for the addicts to break so maybe try and do your best to break that daily ritual and erase the temptation as much as you can, ppl tend to drink weekdays out of boredom I find, take up a hobby that will keep you busy I know I must have given that advice a million times on boards lol but I do find being productive outside of work hours gives like a bit of meaning. Best of luck and you seem like someone with a great sense of humour and you write well. Maybe get into writing

Ursus Horribilis

I wonder is it safe to go from drinking a bottle of wine a night to zero? It's something that would be worth checking with your GP. Women drinking too much wine is a more common phenomenon than you'd think so don't be ashamed. You're very brave to be facing up to it.

I don't know if you're an alcoholic or if it's something that has become a bad habit for you. Regardless, I agree wholeheartedly with the others that you need to start filling your evenings with other things. Loneliness and boredom are every bit as destructive as alcohol in their own way.

Seeing as you need to lose weight, how about joining the likes of Slimming World or Weight Watchers? As well as hopefully helping you to shed the pounds, it'll be something to get you out of the apartment one evening a week.

Please don't drop all your friends because you're unhappy about your weight. Unless your friends are bitches, they're not going to start disliking you because you've put on weight. They like you for the person you are, not what you look like. They might also be the people you need to help get you back onto the straight and narrow.

For now, don't worry about the job you have. Try to sort your drinking and get your weight going in the right direction first. Then start having a look around at what changes you might be able to make with the job.

I think Via4's suggestion about doing your shopping online is a good one. It's definitely worth trying anyway. If you're going into the supermarket on your way home every evening, it's all too easy to be tempted and to buy that bottle of wine.

LegacyUser

It is an emotional time, and you will feel worse without tge drink than you did with the drink, but that is short term.
To inprove your self esteem you need to do esteemable tgings. Keep busy, be of service and believe me when I say this, do the opposite to what your head tells you.

If your head says, dont clean the apartment, then scrub it, etc. From what yo say, you followed your thought process for long enough and the result was that you carried on drinking.

I am 8 years off the drink by the way. I wish you the best of luck. It can be done.

Rubberchikken

it's great that you recognise something needs to be done.
the spiders will survive a cleaning, just ignore them and tidy everything else:) if you want to change things, and it sounds like you do, then start somewhere and tidying up around you is good for the mind and the body:)
next i agree with others, change up the evening routine. wandering into the supermarket for food etc after work when you're tired will just trigger a need to purchase wine you could do without.

is there a gym near you you could go a few evenings a week? or some form of exercise that you would enjoy.
just remember, when the going gets tough, that you want to make changes and you sound likea person who is more than capable of doing that.
sorry for long reply:) good luck

BetsyEllen

Fair play to you OP!

There are many people here, including myself who would be only delighted to offer you support, if you feel you need to log in and just type out how you're feeling. It can be very therapeutic!

You've probably got a few crappy evenings ahead of you, as your body adjusts to not having its daily fix - so maybe try and get out for a walk or something if you can.
I walk every night to help beat the boredom of loneliness (also single, very few people in my life, can't remember the last hug I had either, romantic or otherwise!)
I listen to audiobooks on my phone whilst I'm walking. I've started to look forward to this little ritual every evening now.

Doing a course as suggested by others is also an excellent idea - it could be something big like a degree to change your career or it could be a hobby course such as learning a new language or sewing - anything at all that would hold your interest. Especially coming into the autumn/winter when getting out for walks frequently may bot be as achievable because of the dark or bad weather.

The Bishop Basher

I just read your post and it struck such a chord with me as I was you a couple of years ago. I wanted to share my story with you in the hope that it might help give you the motivation and encouragement that you need. The good news is that you absolutely can change your life around and you can do it today. The first step is as simple as deciding to do it and it sounds like you’re pretty much there.

I haven’t had a drink since March last year and in that time my life has changed to the point where it’s almost unrecognizable.

I'm a 42 year old male. I was fat, lethargic, unhappy, unhealthy and felt stuck. I started going off the booze for a month here and there. A month was always much easier than “for good”. Every time I did a month I felt great. Everything improved. My energy levels increased, I started exercising, started eating better, the weight would start to fall off and I was a much happier and calmer person.

Then at the end of every month I’d go back drinking and everything would immediately revert back to the way it was before. The weight went back on, the mood went downhill, all motivation for anything disappeared and I just knew the drink had to go but I couldn’t get my head around never drinking again. After all, I wasn’t an alcoholic and I wasn’t addicted so why should I have to give it up ?

Then in March last year I gave it up for what I thought would be just another month. But something happened during that month. I don’t know what it was but I knew half way through that this time I was done. I just couldn’t keep repeating the madness over and over again. So I decided to extend it indefinitely and as of today, 16 months later, I’m still alcohol free with no desire, wish or want to drink whatsoever.

In that time, and I won’t bore you with the details, absolutely every aspect of my life has improved in ways I never thought possible. I was a 30 a day smoker but 2 months ago I woke up and decided the cigarettes had to go too. I haven’t had one since and I knew that day that I’d never smoke again. That’s just one small example of how my decision to give up alcohol is still paying off to this day. I never could have done that while drinking. I wouldn’t have even wanted to. Removing alcohol from my life is the single most important and most beneficial decision I have ever made.

Don’t get me wrong. It has been really really tough. The reaction of others has probably been the toughest. Lots of people will try to suck you back in. Usually people who still live in that world and don’t really want to see you escape it. But once you make the decision, just put your head down and go for it.

Surround yourself with people who support you. Get rid of those who don’t. ALL of them.

Boredom is your enemy so fill up your time. Start walking or running, maybe try the couch to 5k, climb a mountain, take up a new hobby, join a club, try new activities, make new friends, meditate, read, try new foods, eat healthy, plan trips. Whatever works for you.. Most importantly, make sure whatever you’re doing feels right for you and is going to help you evolve and grow.

Very soon you should start to realize that you’re really enjoying life a lot more and you’ll start achieving your goals. It may even start to feel easy because you’ll be enjoying it all so much. Some days will knock the crap out of you. No biggy. Just stand back up, dust yourself down and keep moving forward.

Your future is in your hands, no one else’s. You get one shot. Don’t waste it…

Good luck..

BetsyEllen

Great post Swanner and very motivational.
Well done to you for all you've achieved.

intheclouds

Well done but please go and speak to your GP because going hero to zero may well cause some problems - and its those problems (anxiety, headaches, stress, worry, feeling ill) that will weaken your resolve and get you back on the drink.

Also - get some support. No woman is an island and the spiders wont be cheering you on the way proper support will.

Its great youve recognised the problem, now just find good healthy substitutes to it.

Personally I study part time and on gym days Im so knackered by 8pm that Im ready for the bed anyway so my time always feels full.

Deco52

Spidey2 wrote: »

Hi there, I'm a single woman of similar age( going unreg for this) and I coukd have written your post even down to disturbing spiders...Recently I counted that I had drank 31 bottles of wine in a month and that habit had gone on too long.

You are caught in a vicious cycle, the wine is making you bloated, so you won't go out cause you're fat, so you drink more and get more bored and fatter!

It's pure boredom. I read an article from a woman who was an alcoholic ( same type of situation irinically) and she said the danger point was coming home from work. If you don't drink within 2 hours of coming in, then you won't. So you need to give yourself something to do, even if it means going straight there after work! I joined a gym and class us at 7, so I go there in way home. By time I get home, it's about 9.30 so I'm not bothered drinking.

Tuns replacing direction and focus. Ok so your job might not be the most exciting? Woukd you consider ups killing or doing an evening course? Alternatively, focus on your weight. Give yourself a target. There is nothing like a task to get yourself focussed.

I totally get where you are coming from, I think it is a bigger problem for women in that situation then people realise!!! Good luck with it.

A lot of men are on exactly the same boat. It is a downward spiral that creeps up on you very much unnoticed good luck

Meauldsegosha

OP fair play to you, it takes guts to admit you may have a problem and look to change your situation. You have got some great advice from posters here.

I would encourage to reach out to your friends. Real friends won't care what you look like and while you are making these changes in your life you will need your friends more then ever.

santana75

Op this is a really good thing. You've gotten to the point where you're at a cross roads and you either keep drinking and waste your life away or you make a comeback. Everyone has a purpose in life and I firmly believe most turn to alcohol, drugs, food, gambling etc, to numb the pain of not following your heart and giving up on your dreams. I think a lot of people get married and have kids thinking this will solve the problem, but it never does. You have to find what it is you were born to do, thats the only way to get your joy back and when you do that the need for those bottles of wine will just fall by the wayside.
Start experimenting. Try things. Be brave. You're going to have to go it alone because most people dont go on this journey, so dont sit at home waiting for someone to accompany you to stuff. Just get yourself out in the world. Trust me, when you start to find yourself like that the weight will naturally fall off you, so theres no need to go on diets or spend hours in the gym. Find a physical activity you enjoy, not to lose weight or to change the shape of your body, but simply because its fun. You'll have to try things out, like dance classes or adult gymnastics, maybe Aerial acrobatics. Dont settle. Be brave. Be willing to do anything at anytime. Life takes on a different energy and meaning when you're brave and put yourself out into the world and let go of control. Life will basically guide you if you let it. So do one thing that you think you might like and then go from there.

meme74

Fair play OP, it is such an easy habit to fall in to and for you to realise it is doing you no good is the first step to break the habit.

So how did last night go?

Hopefully an update here will be a good motivator for you if you feel some weakness in the evenings

The Bishop Basher

santana75 wrote: »

when you start to find yourself like that the weight will naturally fall off you, so theres no need to go on diets or spend hours in the gym. Find a physical activity you enjoy, not to lose weight or to change the shape of your body, but simply because its fun.

`

This is phenomenal advice...

Obviously eating well is equally important for weight loss but it shouldn't be a slog. It can be easy and fun. I've lost over 4 stone since stopping drinking and it wasn't difficult. It could have been but it wasn't. It's all in the approach. Keep it fun and the weight will fall off.

LegacyUser

Oh wow - thank you for all those lovely supportive messages! I wasn't really expecting that and I appreciate them a lot! Especially from those of you who were once in this creaky boat too.

Well I didn't drink last night - whoo hoo! One night down, only 18,250 (approx) to go! Jaysus...

There was a point when I really really almost went to the shop for wine but having posted here made me stop because it would just have been too pathetic to report I couldn't even do one night! And actually, once I had it settled into my brain I wasn't going to go, the urge faded away, and I was content enough to go for a walk and watch a movie. Bit hard to get to sleep but that's probably my body waiting to be knocked out instead of doing its own thing.

I really appreciate all the tips about staying busy - unfortunately I do quite a lot of this already and am quite a busy person. I volunteer with two charities, I am on a (very slowly moving) sports team, I do stuff with a disabled relative, I do night classes every year, I went on some of the Meet Up things and hill walking trips.

The thing is - when I said drink is my only pleasure in life - it really is (was! was now! right?!). So I do those things, and the whole time I'm thinking how I can't wait to get home and have a drink.

Strangely - if I am out on a social occasion, I don't drink that much with other people ... but I make sure I have a bottle waiting for me at home to drink before I go to bed. And OK I just realised how odd that is!

I'm naturally introverted so, although I can come across as friendly and outgoing, I just find it difficult to connect with people and find making conversation stressful and tiring - even with people who are nice. Nothing beats alcohol for massaging that feeling away.

HOWEVER - I think I have to recognise that I can't trust my feelings about that stuff because I'm sure all my endorphins and whatsits are messed up so I am giving myself a goal of 3 weeks alcohol free (to start with) and see if that improves my mood.

If I'm still feeling ****ty after 3 weeks I will see if I can force myself to go to a doctor to see if I should be doing something else.

Thank you again for all the messages! It's a very kind thing to do for someone. I didn't realise how posting here would result in all these life buoys being flung in my direction and it's lovely!

Yellow pack crisps

On average 30 bottles per month probably a bit more? No wonder you feel as you do that's not living that's suffering and sticking a band aid on it when you need an operation!!

You are young!!! So don't use your age as an excuse or a deterrent. If my friend told me they drank that much and with that regularity I'd tell them to go to AA or if your not religious the equivalent. You need help OP and I'm saying that with kindness and you need to admit that to yourself in a very honest way before you and your health spiral out of control. It's a scary first step and it will take all the dedication and guts you have but if you take that first step and keep taking steps then the rewards will be ten fold!

Drinking that much and living that life is not living at all and you are missing out on so many things that can make life worth living. It's like you have given up on your life and accepted that this is the future and there is nothing you can do? But there is you can be happy, content and fulfilled but you have to really want it and you have to put in the work and discipline to see yourself changing your view of yourself and your surroundings.

One thing sticks out Is that by giving up the Booze and saving that money you could afford a better place to live. You could discover a whole new side to yourself that you forgot existed and you could experience Life again free from the fog that surrounds your sight now.

Never before has there been so much ways to fulfill not only your life but your potential and it's all within your own grasp.

Keep in contact with your friends and don't worry about your weight for now or your perception about how other people see you they probably actually miss and are worried about you. And everyone has their own issues with themselves whether that's physical or mental it's something we as human beings share regardless of gender or looks or anything else.


Take up a journal and detail your existence and write down how you feel and what you want and why you want it! Get out and about and stop being ashamed of yourself as you have no reason to be and it is quite literally making you regress into a person you do not understand or recognise.


Physical excersise is really important not to make you thinner or better looking but because it at least then you will know why you are tired snd you will also know why you feel great waking up in the morning and it will clear a lot of your negative thoughts and also give you physical aims that will keep you busy.

Please take the first step.

Plus boards has excellent forums for you to join and seek advice and inspiration for all the things you are feeling and going through. Just use the search option.

And buy a bike!

Big Bag of Chips

Also, look at the title of your thread. You talk about your "only pleasure". It's your only pleasure because it has taken a hold and substituted itself for all the other pleasures you used to enjoy. Once you take back bits of your life that you've lost/neglected you will find so many other pleasures than just this one.

I wish you well. Just look at this thread. So many posters telling you that they've been there and managed to get out of the rut... They're not exceptional people (no offense everyone ). If they can do it, there's no reason you can't. It mightn't be easy, but it's definitely possible. Take it one day at a time. Tell yourself "I'm not drinking today" and go from there.

xzanti

OP, you'll find lots of like minded people over here:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1015

Best of luck

loup

Also listen in to this recent podcast for Morning Ireland - https://soundcloud.com/morning-ireland/increase-in-number-of-women-dying-from-alcohol-related-diseases
The professor on had some frightening stats about liver disease in women...and the fact that they cannot test for it..its too late by the time it's diagnosed. Really well worth listening to. I am also giving up wine..I'm trying to visualise it as a glass of liquid sugar as it contains so many calories. Working for me so far!

quickbeam

OP, well done on your first night.

I would say that it is highly unlikely you will succeed in this decision if you have drink in the house. The temptation would be just too great. The best way to avoid this temptation is to be firm when you go shopping. It's a lot easier to exercise willpower once a week when shopping, than constantly when in the house. I don't have a drink problem, but I do have a junk-food problem, so I've used this advice myself in simply not having any in the house, and I therefore can't eat what I don't have available to me. It really works.

If you think your willpower won't hold when shopping, then bring only enough money with you for the rest of your groceries. You can't buy it if you don't have the money for it. Leave the cards behind too.

I would also warn you that you may feel worse before you feel better, but know that in the long term, this is an absolutely fantastic choice you've made.

Some other things to keep in mind:
A bottle of wine contains 635 calories. Over the course of a week you'll be saving yourself about 4500 calories, which equates to about 1.25 pounds per week - that is, without doing a single other thing about the weight. In a year you could lose over 4 stone. A great motivator! (Depending on how overweight you've got).

A bottle of wine will cost, say, €10 each. You may have gone for cheaper or more expensive bottles in the past, but let's say that amount for argument sake. Over the course of the year you'll have saved nearly €4000! That could be a VERY nice holiday somewhere, or enough to take up any hobby of your choosing.

Best of luck to you OP. You've made the hardest step in starting this. You can continue once you set your mind to it.

anewme

If you haven't already, watch the Louis Theroux Documentary Drinking into Oblivion. Not sure if it's on Netflix, but you will find it online.

As someone who loves nothing more than coming home from work and having a glass of wine or two or three or so on, it really made me question my drinking habits and how easy it could get out of hand and into a downward rut.

In my case, the empty calories from wine were giving me a "wine waist" ie middle aged spread and also my sleep quality, skin condition and youthfulness were suffering. . In the end vanity prevailed, I had to decide who did I love more, myself or the wine and thankfully I decided I loved myself more(vain and all as that sounds)

Spid3yS3ns3s

Spid3yS3ns3s wrote: »

I love it so much! It feels like getting a huge, snuggly bear hug when I take that first sip (and I can't actually remember the last time I got a real hug so that's quite nice for me.)

I get up every morning and go to work and fulfil my responsibilities and don't let anyone down, but I know this cannot go on much longer before my liver does a Thelma & Louise on me. I'm exhausted and foggy-brained all the time and I get no pleasure any more from the things I used to enjoy - and I know that the alcohol HAS to be to blame for at least some of my dour and hopeless outlook on life...

So, today I've decided (as I have decided every day for at least the last 6 months) that I'm not going to drink tonight. I'm wondering if I can manage to stop drinking if that will turn some switch in my brain so I can feel something other than this cliched hopelessness.

I keep making this resolution and then find myself buying wine on autopilot in the supermarket on the way home from work ... so today, in the spirit of public commitments being more likely to be fulfilled, I'm writing this out and facing up to the fact that I'm going to make myself sick if I keep going like this. And if I don't get sick, then the latest statistics indicate that I've got at least another 50 years of being alive left - and another 50 years in this loop of boredom/drink/guilt/boredom/drink/guilt... it just doesn't bear thinking about.

Sorry, for the length of this and I know I don't seem to be asking for advice here - I think its because I KNOW what I need to do, and I know why I need to do it, but people here are usually very kind and supportive and I just think I need to say this (type this!) to someone to make it real. Thank you.

I could have written that post almost three years ago. There is so much more to life to explore once you break free from this slavery. Giving up drink was absolutely massive in my life before I gave it up. All that time is now filled with so much else I don't have time to think about it. I genuinely had never convinced myself so much of something that was so wrongheaded, namely that I couldn't do without the drink. It helped hugely that I stopped frequenting places where alcohol was served, and it helped even more that I filled in those evenings with positive activities - learning a language, doing a Masters, minding my first child. Running, learning an instrument... - there is so much to explore. Yes, I can never allow myself to forget that if I go back on the drink, it's the beginning of the end but the idea of drinking again is just not on my radar. There is so much more!


There are a number of us over on the Non-Drinkers' Group giving support to each other. You might find it very helpful; I know I certainly have found it to be a very supportive place. Go n-éirí an t-ádh leat/Best of luck!

Claw Hammer

Only go shopping during the hours the off licence is closed. Put water in a wine bottle and drink from it in a wine glass when the urge hits.

meme74

How has it been going OP? You said hopefully checking in here will help keep you on track but no updates in afew days. Keep going and let us know how you are doing

Taltos

Mod Note
Hi meme - we know you're new to PI, so please take 5 minutes to read our charter. Asking for updates is not permitted here, even if an OP has said they will give an update they are under no obligation to do so.

dartsplayer

i'm 34 and in a similar situation except i drink every few days instead of every day. I do it to supress my natural energy, and it makes me feel bloated not wanting to contact anyone, letargic. i just want to watch tv. now i gave up 2 month's and to honest is it was the best decision i ever did everything wise. then about a month ago i had some free beer at a party i felt obliged too, and i'm back on the drink and hating it. But i found if i kept myself really busy when the urge came i would overcome it and after a week you feel great and dont need to go back on it. I'm possibly not the best person to ask. but if you have the motivation there. just think one week without drinking compared to all the time you have spent drinking it's miniscule. and then let the good times roll

LegacyUser

Op I was in the very same situation up until 12 months ago. I used to drink several beers 7 nights a week and stay up late watching crap on tv. I just fell into it over time. I would go into work semi hungover, wrecked tired, lethargic and generally indifferent to my job (I managed to hold down a good, well paid job Thank god). At the weekend I would have a few extra drinks to reward myself for getting through another week and then lie in until mid morning. My family suffered for it as I was never 'in the mood' to do anything or go anywhere. It was a miserable, selfish existence. I felt like s**t most of the time, bloated, hated the way I looked and generally avoided people and events that might show up my drinking. I was dependent on alcohol without a shadow of a doubt. I laughed when I read your op and you describe that feeling of the first sip being like a big snugly bear hug. I can totally identify with that. Opening that first can / bottle was so satisfying, especially knowing there was several more where that came from. I would obsess over having 'enough' beer in the fridge. I hid it well though, and outside of my wife I don't think anybody would have suspected how much I was drinking over the course of the week.

For some reason last year I just realised I couldn't continue on this path. I cut out drinking during the week altogether and joined the local gym. I go there 3-4 nights a week now lifting weights. I also bought lots of cookbooks over the past while and cleaned up my diet which was also terrible. It has become a bit of an obsession if I'm honest, but a much healthier one than the oneI had before. I have more money, look amazing (even if I do say so myself ) and feel on top of the world. When I bump into people I haven't seen in a while they can't get over it. It has had a positive impact on every aspect of my life and I could never go back.

I still have a few beers a couple of times a month at the weekend but am just as happy without. The thought of going back to the way I was before frightens me so I am very strict with myself.

My message is to press on and do it. For me the gym has been a godsend, as it occupies my time meaning I'm not sitting around bored and opening myself up to temptation. You need to find something else to concentrate on. If you are sitting around during the evenings it will be very hard not to think about drinking, I highly recommend fitness as a hobby but it's not for everybody of course, it doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something. I'd also agree that you need to remove drink from the house, it's too easy to say you'll have 'just the one' if there is a bottle in the fridge. Best of luck!!