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Arranging funeral advice needed

  • 01-08-2016 09:38AM
    #1
    riclad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,184 ✭✭✭


    My sister died on friday ,age 57.
    She was taken to hospital mortuary .
    i have 2 other sisters age 40- 45 .
    sister one is on holidays in the us .she is coming home wednesday at 9pm this week.
    i want her to arrange the mass ,funeral and pick the funeral director where she lives.
    She lives in athlone.
    She goes on holiday in the usa.
    sister no 2 lives in usa ,boston.
    Is it ok to leave my sister in the mortuary ,till thursday?
    i have not visited or spoken to any funeral director as i know my sister wants to take
    care of all the arrangements ,the mass etc
    my brother died in 2008 and she took care of all the funeral arrangements.
    Am i missing something here ,?
    i do not want to go through all the various arrangements over the phone to her in the usa.
    i,d prefer to let her take care of the ceremony.
    She will be going to the local funeral director on thursday morning.
    her son age 21 lives in the us.
    i would be grateful for any advice on this matter.

    I could ask her to come back tommorow, her flight ticket, is booked ,paid in advance, for departure wednsday .
    i presume there is some limit on the time for a person to be held in the mortuary .


Comments

  • #2
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,305 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    I'm so sorry for your loss. I think rather than not contact anyone, and ignore all aspects of this you should contact at least the mortuary to ask them is it ok to wait until your sister returns. Very often bodies have to kept for a length of time to facilitate people coming home from all over the world, but you should at least speak with them.

    Unless your sister has already been on to them?

    Have you been in contact with your sister at all? She may already be organising things from the US, but you should contact her and ask her what, if anything she'd like you to do before she gets back.


  • #3
    intheclouds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,175 ✭✭✭intheclouds


    Sorry for your loss.

    The mortuary should be able to keep your sisters remains until your other sister comes home but you should contact them and let them know that the person taking care of the arrangements won't be back until later this week and that a funeral director will be contacting them on Thursday.

    You don't have to start making arrangements yourself. Although it is customary in Ireland to bury people very soon after they pass, in other countries it is not unusual to wait a week or 10 days so it's certainly possible to wait.


  • #4
    riclad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,184 ✭✭✭riclad


    she intends to go to the local funeral director on thursday morning,
    she has not contacted anyone,apart from me .
    she is not organising anything,by phone, she is on holiday in the usa ,went about a week ago.
    I have no idea how long it takes to organise a funeral or a funeral mass.
    maybe a week , i dont know.

    She organised the funeral of my mother 12 years ago.
    she is kind of the head of the family .
    She takes care of wills, funerals etc


  • #5
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,305 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Well then she will handle it, but I think you should at least make some sort of contact with someone, to tell them that your sister will be making the arrangements as soon as she gets home. Even if you contact the funeral director that she will be using, and tell them what is happening, and ask them to contact the mortuary on your behalf.

    Your situation will not be unusual, and they will have dealt with it many many times before.


  • #6
    intheclouds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,175 ✭✭✭intheclouds


    riclad wrote: »
    she intends to go to the local funeral director on thursday morning,
    she has not contacted anyone,apart from me .
    she is not organising anything,by phone, she is on holiday in the usa ,went about a week ago.
    I have no idea how long it takes to organise a funeral or a funeral mass.
    maybe a week , i dont know.

    She organised the funeral of my mother 12 years ago.
    she is kind of the head of the family .
    She takes care of wills, funerals etc

    It only takes an day or two to make arrangements. The funeral director will do most of it with input from your sister. There are choices to be made, type of coffin, flowers, graveyard, etc.. Usually an hour with the priest also. If your sister sees the funeral director on Thursday morning it's likely the funeral will be early the next week (although it could be over the weekend depending on the parish).

    All you need to is let the mortuary know that your sister won't be home to make arrangements til Thursday.


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