Lost a Friend

xLisaBx

So this week I have pretty much lost 2 of my close friends, over circumstances I really couldn't control. So I decided to turn to AH to see what you guys did when this happened to you before? And did it resolve? Because really, there's no better place to cheer someone up than After Hours

CarrickMcJoe

You're very careless, where did you have them last ?

Sir Osis of Liver.

Retrace your steps.They'll turn up somewhere.Try not to be so fcukin careless.

Dtp1979

Depends on the circumstances of how you lost them. But if you want proper answers you're probably on the one forum you won't find them

FAILSAFE 00

xLisaBx wrote: »

So this week I have pretty much lost 2 of my close friends, over circumstances I really couldn't control. So I decided to turn to AH to see what you guys did when this happened to you before? And did it resolve? Because really, there's no better place to cheer someone up than After Hours

Stalker case, huh.

http://resources2.news.com.au/images/2008/11/05/va1237517907733/Matt-Dillon-Theres-Something-About-Mary-a-skinny-6335430.jpg

xLisaBx

Prayer to St. Anthony isn't it, for finding things that are lost?

CarrickMcJoe

xLisaBx wrote: »

So this week I have pretty much lost 2 of my close friends, over circumstances I really couldn't control. So I decided to turn to AH to see what you guys did when this happened to you before? And did it resolve? Because really, there's no better place to cheer someone up than After Hours

You weren't arguing with them in a car at a Chinese safari park by any chance?

endacl

Try down the back of the sofa.

failinis

Try posting this in Personal Issues if you actually want serious replies.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Are they dead? If not, move on and find new friends. If they're dead, I'm sorry for your loss.

The way I look at it, if circumstances mean that people I once considered friends can no longer be my friends then they probably weren't very good friends anyway.

Story Bud?

Where's the last place you'd normally look for them?

Summer wind

Step back and give it some time. Try again to talk to them next week. If they still won't listen maybe put everything you want to say in a letter. After that you'll have done all you can and the balls in their court. Best of luck.

xLisaBx

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

Are they dead? If not, move on and find new friends. If they're dead, I'm sorry for your loss.

The way I look at it, if circumstances mean that people I once considered friends can no longer be my friends then they probably weren't very good friends anyway.

Oh no they aren't dead. Both under different circumstances. The replies are making me laugh here But yeah, you probably have a point and real friends wouldn't just get up and leave without trying to fix things.

Specialun

R u ok hun??

What exactly did you do? Or what were the circumstances?

I've cut people out of my life in the past, and there was always a good reason for it. Did these friends have reasons?

xLisaBx

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

What exactly did you do? Or what were the circumstances?

I've cut people out of my life in the past, and there was always a good reason for it. Did these friends have reasons?

Well I cut one of them, he was a complete dramatic and has drinking issues. Miss him already though.

The other, I actually have no idea what I did wrong but he is completely ignoring me.

Specialun

xLisaBx wrote: »

Well I cut one of them, he was a complete dramatic and has drinking issues. Miss him already though.

The other, I actually have no idea what I did wrong but he is completely ignoring me.

You cut him with what, a knife?

Mary63

*HUGS HUN*,there, I feel better.

Maybe they don't want you to find them.

To borrow from Oscar Wilde, to lose one friend is unfortunate, to lose two is simply careless!

Could friend number two be siding with friend number one and sidelining you because you sidelined the first guy? Or are they unrelated losses?

xLisaBx

Candie wrote: »

To borrow from Oscar Wilde, to lose one friend is unfortunate, to lose two is simply careless!

Could friend number two be siding with friend number one and sidelining you because you sidelined the first guy? Or are they unrelated losses?

Unrelated. I think I just pushed one of them over the limit asking for advice and stuff (and I wasn't willing to help myself).
The other, he had to go, simple as.

corner of hells

xLisaBx wrote: »

Well I cut one of them, he was a complete dramatic and has drinking issues. Miss him already though.

The other, I actually have no idea what I did wrong but he is completely ignoring me.

So it's a "menage a trois" type thing where you were getting "shaken" and "stirred" by two different blokes ?

That_Guy

I cut out a core group of friends recently due to them being absolute cúnts of the highest order.

I feel a lot better about it tbh and don't plan on going back any time soon.

They left you Lisa because you are always stuck in 2nd gear!

But not to worry,........ill be there for you......

IamtheWalrus

In the past 5 years, I've lost many close 'friends' when I realised, when I was honest with myself, they weren't great friend in the first place. I have no regrets losing them and I'm now beginning to be the person I hoped to be. It's liberating.

The new friends I make are on my terms and much more valuable.

xLisaBx

Thanks guys. I think you are right- it'll take time but eventually I'll come to understand, and appreciate, what has happened!

Discodog

xLisaBx wrote: »

Unrelated. I think I just pushed one of them over the limit asking for advice and stuff (and I wasn't willing to help myself).
The other, he had to go, simple as.

Ok so one was an alcoholic & the other didn't want to give advice or help you when you needed it. You are well rid of both. Find people that you know will be there for you & cherish them.

CarrickMcJoe

xLisaBx wrote: »

Well I cut one of them, he was a complete dramatic and has drinking issues. Miss him already though.

The other, I actually have no idea what I did wrong but he is completely ignoring me.

Had that problem once, actually went to doctor and said my friends were ignoring me.

Doctor said, "Next please"....

Fr_Dougal

Sendin u ova a 4 leaf clover. 🍀

yermanoffthetv

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

In the past 5 years, I've lost many close 'friends' when I realised, when I was honest with myself, they weren't great friend in the first place. I have no regrets losing them and I'm now beginning to be the person I hoped to be. It's liberating.

The new friends I make are on my terms and much more valuable.

Ive done the exact same, some who Ive known over 15 years. There comes a point where you have to look at a friendship and call it for what it is. Some selfish sods will always try to bring you down a few pegs and keep you there without you realizing it. Cast them off and surround yourself with people you respect and who respect you.

Your Face

Listen to some Beyonce, guuurl.

cantdecide

AH response:

1 reply= 1 prayer


Actual response:

Time and space. Sometimes things work themselves out. Sometimes you gain to the perspective to see that things run their course. Other times you see that some friendships only work in a particular way and when your life moves on, that space becomes occupied with other things. Sometimes you're simply better off without them. Sometimes they're better off without you and maybe there's some learning to be had from your perspective.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

It's never been an issue for me. I don't get "attached" to most people usually. If they get on my tits enough that I'm going to end a friendship, I'll just cut them out. Not a second thought to it.

jigglypuffstuff

LexieOnRale wrote: »

It's never been an issue for me. I don't get "attached" to most people usually. If they get on my tits enough that I'm going to end a friendship, I'll just cut them out. Not a second thought to it.

Yeah, See here's the problem..

It really needs to be on the face for an attachment to form

jigglypuffstuff

xLisaBx wrote: »

Well I cut one of them, he was a complete dramatic and has drinking issues. Miss him already though.

The other, I actually have no idea what I did wrong but he is completely ignoring me.

It sounds like you have complete control over the first one?

xLisaBx

pone2012 wrote: »

It sounds like you have complete control over the first one?

There's a backstory, he's good friends with a girl I don't get along with and he has "chosen her side" kind of thing. Fair enough that he didn't want to choose sides, but he isn't treating me the same anymore.

fryup

are you being cold-shouldered??

xLisaBx

fryup wrote: »

are you being cold-shouldered??

Yeah, that's a good way of putting it.

TSMGUY

Pfttttttttt friends are so last decade. It's 2016 - you need a squad! #SQUADGOALS

But in all seriousness, **** 'em. I had this "friend" for like 5 years and all he ever did was cockblock me and ask me to pay for his drinks. Lousy bastards are a dime a dozen. One sounds like a drunkard and the other one sounds like a passive aggressive ****. You're at Uni, I'm sure you have tons of other friends.

uck51js9zml2yt

Getting back to useless comments.
Have you filed a police report. Your insurance company will need one in order for you to claim on your policy.

La.de.da

Go and find some new pokemon pals.


That's what ye younguns are at these days I hear.

Shint0

pone2012 wrote: »

Yeah, See here's the problem..

It really needs to be on the face for an attachment to form

:eek::D

Canis Lupus

xLisaBx wrote: »

There's a backstory, he's good friends with a girl I don't get along with and he has "chosen her side" kind of thing. Fair enough that he didn't want to choose sides, but he isn't treating me the same anymore.

Is she better looking than you?

fryup

don't worry OP, there's plenty of friends to be made on Facebook

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Charizard

I saw a cocker wandering around just presumed the neighbour got a new dog, Id have called otherwise

Wompa1

Being a man, I haven't lost friends...or at least that I know of.

Mark Tapley

Have you tried Mindlessness ?

Esel

TSMGUY wrote: »

Pfttttttttt friends are so last decade. It's 2016 - you need a squad! #SQUADGOALS

But in all seriousness, **** 'em. I had this "friend" for like 5 years and all he ever did was cockblock me and ask me to pay for his drinks. Lousy bastards are a dime a dozen. One sounds like a drunkard and the other one sounds like a passive aggressive ****. You're at Uni, I'm sure you have tons of other friends.

K?. Thread leakage, hopefully...

Friend =/ acquaintance.

PARlance

xLisaBx wrote: »

So...

LisaB, stuck in the middle of two X's.