What to do?

TheFitz13

So back a few months ago, I went to a conference. When I was there I got talking to a nice guy. We chatted and the conversation flow was nice. After the conference we went and got food together, which was lovely. I got the vibe that he was in to me and I was definatly into him.

We parted ways that day and kept in contact in little bits (the odd text here and there). I helped him with an issue he had, and I got a vibe that he wanted to meet up again. This was about February.

Recently, I started thinking about him and thought 'why not give him a text'. We talked and this time it was a lot more flirty, in fact it was a bit sexual (tmi i know ). The other day we met up and went for a drink, which was just as lovely as the first time. We ended up kissing and a little bit more. He even gave me a cringy note saying 'I'm attracted to you' . It was lovely.

Now however, I don't know what to do. He works a lot and lives in the county next to mine. We have planned to meet up again but he's not free for two weeks. This year I'm going back to college and I'm going to be super busy. We haven't talked much since the date, and when we have its been a bit annoying cause he can take up to an hour to reply.

I actually really do like him, and I'm sure he likes me, but I just don't know what to do now cause I feel like I'm coming off as clingy. If I'm being honest I'm not looking for a relationship and I'm sure he isn't either. It's confusing me to be honest.

So to sum up, I like him, I'm sure he likes me. He lives a bit away and works a lot. I crave to talk to him and keep meeting up but he's really busy. Do I keep texting him or do I keep it cool by waiting for him to text me? Thanks for any advice!
(Sorry for the essay)

daisybelle2008

TheFitz13 wrote: »

We have planned to meet up again but he's not free for two weeks. This year I'm going back to college and I'm going to be super busy.

If I'm being honest I'm not looking for a relationship and I'm sure he isn't either. It's confusing me to be honest.

I crave to talk to him and keep meeting up but he's really busy.

I'd leave it and forget about him, it has head wreck written to all over it and you are getting over invested. If you are not looking for a relationship and just casual is frustrating you already, put your energy and focus on your college and other things, he just doesn't seem that into you and I wouldn't be sure he is even single.

Big Bag of Chips

Yep, I wouldn't be convinced he's single! Maybe he is, but you really don't know enough about him to be sure. If you don't want a relationship, what do you want? Not texting back for an hour wouldn't be all that unusual. People can be busy! Not everyone is sitting around with their phone glued to their hand!!

I think you DO want a relationship, but I think you're trying to protect yourself by saying you're not too bothered. But clearly you ARE bothered. If you weren't you wouldn't be here! You have a few options. 1: Tell him! 2: Wait for him to contact you and see what happens. 3: Decide yourself that it's not going anywhere and end it/stop contacting him and just let it fade away.

Augme

TheFitz13 wrote: »

So back a few months ago, I went to a conference. When I was there I got talking to a nice guy. We chatted and the conversation flow was nice. After the conference we went and got food together, which was lovely. I got the vibe that he was in to me and I was definatly into him.

We parted ways that day and kept in contact in little bits (the odd text here and there). I helped him with an issue he had, and I got a vibe that he wanted to meet up again. This was about February.

Recently, I started thinking about him and thought 'why not give him a text'. We talked and this time it was a lot more flirty, in fact it was a bit sexual (tmi i know ). The other day we met up and went for a drink, which was just as lovely as the first time. We ended up kissing and a little bit more. He even gave me a cringy note saying 'I'm attracted to you' . It was lovely.

Now however, I don't know what to do. He works a lot and lives in the county next to mine. We have planned to meet up again but he's not free for two weeks. This year I'm going back to college and I'm going to be super busy. We haven't talked much since the date, and when we have its been a bit annoying cause he can take up to an hour to reply.

I actually really do like him, and I'm sure he likes me, but I just don't know what to do now cause I feel like I'm coming off as clingy. If I'm being honest I'm not looking for a relationship and I'm sure he isn't either. It's confusing me to be honest.

So to sum up, I like him, I'm sure he likes me. He lives a bit away and works a lot. I crave to talk to him and keep meeting up but he's really busy. Do I keep texting him or do I keep it cool by waiting for him to text me? Thanks for any advice!
(Sorry for the essay)

Your behaviour contradicts this to be honest. If you don't want a relationship then the current set-up sounds perfect.

LegacyUser

Sounds to me like he is in a relationship of sorts already. Or not, but he's not that interested. He knows you're interested, and while he's not instigating much or anything, the odd bit of sex texting and the knowledge that you're there when he feels like a bit of excitement is enough for him. That is all this is. Agree with above poster you're only saying you don't want a relationship to protect yourself but if he was clear he wanted you and was all about you, then you would most certainly be in a relationship with him, or leading to that. But it's too early and you don't know enough about him to say I want a relationship with him because that would sound too much.
Like a lot of guys and the type of guy who is already with someone but likes to flirt, he will not be upfront with you because it's all a game and he knows by not being direct you will hang around wondering where you stand and what this is and all the mystery which you mistake for strong attraction etc etc, and all the while absolutely wasting your time.

njs030

TBH he doesn't sound that into you at all, unless there's more you didn't write I think you're reading too much into this.

As is said over and over on these forums if someone likes you they usually let you know. Another poster already pointed out that it's normal enough to not have the phone to hand all the time and I'd agree that sometimes people are busy and it can take an hour or more to reply.....however if it's always the case and he's never available for proper chat (that isn't sexual) then hes not interested.

You sound like you do want more, phrases like "I crave to see him" don't sound indifferent!!
I'd leave it and let him contact you, but chances are he's interested in something very casual....if even that.

Meauldsegosha

TheFitz13 wrote: »

He even gave me a cringy note saying 'I'm attracted to you' . It was lovely.

.... and when we have its been a bit annoying cause he can take up to an hour to reply.

... but I just don't know what to do now cause I feel like I'm coming off as clingy.

If I'm being honest I'm not looking for a relationship ...

I crave to talk to him and keep meeting up ...

Your post is full of contradictions. You need to be honest with yourself about what you want.

Someone taking an hour to reply to a text message is perfectly reasonable.

batmanrobin

donothingandmoveon wrote: »

He knows you're interested, and while he's not instigating much or anything, the odd bit of sex texting and the knowledge that you're there when he feels like a bit of excitement is enough for him.

I reckon this is the nail on the head!

If you're noticing how long it takes a fella to text you back, then you're interested - big time! Unfortunately, I don't think he's as interested. Leave him to it and if he is interested then he'll let you know.

If you do insist on keeping in touch with him, might I suggest you stop sexting him. Just stick to normal conversation and don't steer it or allow him to steer it to anything sexual. You'll gauge his interest i.e. is he interested in actually talking to you as opposed to just sexting you, fairly sharpish.

TheFitz13

Thanks for all the responses!

If I'm being honest, I would like a relationship. Really would actually. I'm just so afraid of them cause I went through a bad break up.

I think I'll just leave it and let him text me (if he does). It's grand either way. I've never been this attracted to someone before so I guess that's what's pulling me towards him. Time will tell I guess!

Thanks again!