Confidence in meetings

Lux23

I know that I am good at my job, have good instincts and most of the time I can express my opinions very well. But I seem to have this mental block when it comes to group meetings. If it is me and just one person, I am fine and I can articulate my concerns/opinions very well. But when one or two people are added to the mix, I begin to feel like I am on stage or something.

Would anyone have any tips for overcoming this? Is it simply a matter of preparation? Or is there something else to it.

Speedwell

It sounds a bit like impostor's syndrome, like you don't trust yourself to be right in public. They hired you because of what you know and what you can do, so they trust you to be right when you talk about it. Your managers and co-workers are free to disagree with you if they don't like what you say; that's part of their jobs, too. You and they will toss the ideas back and forth until you come to a consensus you can all live with. Just trust yourself to know your own job.

Diziet

Preparation helps a lot. Have your homework done, and practice your delivery. keep at it and it gets a lot easier.

faceman

This is a common thing in the workplace and can often relate to self confidence.

Maybe consider taking classes in improv, public speaking or even a drama course. Good ones do wonders for our ability to interact in work sessions like this.

Aside from myself there are plenty of options out there.

ibarelycare

Bring your concerns up with your boss and enquire as to whether your workplace will send you on a CPD course in communication/confidence/public speaking.

JTL

Don't mention this to your boss is my advice. Work on it yourself.
Preparation and practice will help.

Outside work, something like Toastmasters will help you a lot.

finglashoop

try and speak to one person from the group. then switch to someone else so you feel like your speaking with one person where you are comfortable

wavydave

Toastmasters will be able to help you with this. You will learn to speak in public in various ways and gain confidence in a very supportive environment. You can go as a guest to meetings to see what happens and as a guest you will not be asked to speak. There are Toastmasters meetings all over the country. Just do a Google search for Toastmasters in Ireland. Be advised that the only way to get confidence is to practice. You aren't going to get better by reading a book or watching a video but if you get involved you will be amazed at how quickly you improve. Good luck.

Irish_Elect_Eng

Interesting TED Talk: Your body language shapes who you are

A few tips:

Check the room & AV equipment before you start.

Review Your material carefully before the meeting. Confidence in your ability to answer questions will build confidence in your presentation.

Set meeting rules to avoid interruptions allowing you to set the pace and tone. " I will provide a summary of the information and then we will pause for a Q&A.

Focus on the key stakeholder / audience member. Your boss technical lead or decision maker. Present directly to them, at least in your own head.

Keep the meeting / presentation short and to the point, your audience will thank you for it and avoiding trying to fill up the full meeting time with waffle will be less stressful.

The simplest rule for presenting to a group is:

• Tell them what you are going to tell them and any decision you need to make.
• Tell them what you need to tell them..
• Tell them what you told them & sumarise any decisions.

Good Luck.

faceman

Irish_Elect_Eng wrote: »

Interesting TED Talk: Your body language shapes who you are

A few tips:

Check the room & AV equipment before you start.

Review Your material carefully before the meeting. Confidence in your ability to answer questions will build confidence in your presentation.

Set meeting rules to avoid interruptions allowing you to set the pace and tone. " I will provide a summary of the information and then we will pause for a Q&A.

Focus on the key stakeholder / audience member. Your boss technical lead or decision maker. Present directly to them, at least in your own head.

Keep the meeting / presentation short and to the point, your audience will thank you for it and avoiding trying to fill up the full meeting time with waffle will be less stressful.

The simplest rule for presenting to a group is:

• Tell them what you are going to tell them and any decision you need to make.
• Tell them what you need to tell them..
• Tell them what you told them & sumarise any decisions.

Good Luck.

With all due respect to this poster, I would strongly disagree with some of the advice here.

Never focus on just the key stakeholder. There are always influencers in meetings and sometimes it's not always clear who the key stakeholder is. Plus you're interacting with a group, not an individual.

OP you're already the expert in what you do so putting an over emphasis on preparation or content can be counter productive, depending on what you're presenting. Minimise the reliance on PowerPoint. (I can't emphasise this point enough) Not every meeting or presentation will go to plan. Setting expectations on question time is fine, e.g. At the end or at the end of each section etc. Laying a map is fine but it's important to accept and be ok with the fact that there may be unexpected questions or curveballs.

No one in the audience goes to a meeting or presentation saying "I really hope this is boring or terrible". Unless you are a politician or delivering bad news the audience is already on your side. It doesn't matter if there is 2 people or 200 people in the room. How you prepare and present is pretty much the same.

One last tip. If presenting there are things you can to do to give the audience a sense of your confidence. When standing up, look at your distance from the rear wall (or presentation wall) and your distance to the audience. Put less distance between you and the audience and more distance between you and the wall.

Irish_Elect_Eng

faceman wrote: »

With all due respect to this poster, I would strongly disagree with some of the advice here.

Never focus on just the key stakeholder. There are always influencers in meetings and sometimes it's not always clear who the key stakeholder is. Plus you're interacting with a group, not an individual.

OP you're already the expert in what you do so putting an over emphasis on preparation or content can be counter productive, depending on what you're presenting. Minimise the reliance on PowerPoint. (I can't emphasise this point enough) Not every meeting or presentation will go to plan. Setting expectations on question time is fine, e.g. At the end or at the end of each section etc. Laying a map is fine but it's important to accept and be ok with the fact that there may be unexpected questions or curveballs.

No one in the audience goes to a meeting or presentation saying "I really hope this is boring or terrible". Unless you are a politician or delivering bad news the audience is already on your side. It doesn't matter if there is 2 people or 200 people in the room. How you prepare and present is pretty much the same.

One last tip. If presenting there are things you can to do to give the audience a sense of your confidence. When standing up, look at your distance from the rear wall (or presentation wall) and your distance to the audience. Put less distance between you and the audience and more distance between you and the wall.

Yes, of course if you are a confident presenter, you should be actively reading the room, adjusting your focus to the engaged audience, making eye contact with each person to engage, etc.

But the OP said that they has no issue with communicating 1:1 and they can rely on that skill until they build their confidence in speaking to a wider audience and skills. Walk before they can run, etc. Or like in the link that I shared, effectively fake it until they make it :-)

Lux23

Thanks for the tips guys. I think preparation and thinking about my delivery more beforehand is key.

I might look into Toastmasters, it is something I am interested in anyway.

TheDoc

Lux23 wrote: »

Thanks for the tips guys. I think preparation and thinking about my delivery more beforehand is key.

I might look into Toastmasters, it is something I am interested in anyway.

It's a pretty common thing. So don't beat yourself up about it. My first few months in an office environment I was very reserved about what I said and very much just observed. Problem was when I'd spot or hear a clear issue, but then held back "assuming" the others in place knew what they were talking about.

I remember this happening a few times and I then did pipe up. There was a "oh" and after speaking a little bit more and giving a recommendation it was then agreed. So for me it was just building up the courage, in something I knew I was right about, to pipe up.

Havn't had any issues since. I still sit mostly reserved and observant in meetings or groups discussions and then just chime in when its something in my area, or I'm not comfortable with decisions or recommendations being made.

I was helping a colleague earlier in the year who had the same sort of issue. Where I work there is strong characters, but unfortunately they are the type in meetings who always "want" to be perceived as a heros, but frequently make poor decisions or just derail meetings. Did something similar that a boss did for me in just assuring this colleague she knows her stuff, not to be afraid to question or comment, and if it's something where she believes strongly in it, its perfectly fine to leave an objection out there.

Preparation is a good shout. I guess I'm just ok with most meetings now, but still plenty where I'll do some quick research and prep if its a topic not directly related to me, but where my opinion might be asked.

Hopefully for you something pops up in a meeting where it's really your bread and butter that you can speak confidently in, get some wonderful nods from peers around the table, and it will bump the confidence a bit.

As a separate point, its totally cool to go to meetings a say nothing. I do it a lot. There is nothing more infuriating or frustrating then people in your workplace who ALWAYS have to get their oar in and make themselves out to be the expert etc. We all have them in our offices, we all know who they are.

Lux23

To be honest, I should be well used to them at this stage and it is odd because if it just me representing my team's interests I am fine, but there is something about feeling that somebody is listening that seems to throw me off my guard.

I have found preparation has improved this situation lately.

Keyzer

JTL wrote: »

Outside work, something like Toastmasters will help you a lot.

+1

beauf

I always found I was less confident when I fell out of practise. The more meetings I did the more confident I got. Which sounds obvious, but isn't when you are struggling. Its probably why toastmaster helps.

Doing a course on it can help. I think its called presenting skills, or presentation skills. There are people who will come into a company and do a couple of sessions. You practise taking in a group, you critic each other, and the instructor guides you. I did one years ago and found it very good.

grangegorman

Hi All,

Check out Meetup as there is a very good free public speaking group in the Grangegorman Dublin 7 area. It is to help people with speaking difficulties at meetings/presentations/social events. It is run by people who have a genuine nervousness regarding public speaking and are not comfortable with Toastmasters as the groups are too large.