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Anyone else terrified of catching HIV / AIDS?

  • 28-07-2016 1:23pm
    #1
    Bebopclown
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 137 ✭✭


    I have this massive fear of catching STDs. The main one being HIV or AIDS. I am getting more and more afraid of doing anything sexual with anyone because of this. I've been to the Boilerhouse a few times but I always leave petrified that I've caught something and can't sleep for the next few weeks. its hitting the point where I just don't even want to touch anyone or kiss anyone for fear of contracting HIV. Anal sex is always a strict no no with me, even with a condom on, I'm scared it will rip so I've never done that. Oral is another big fear, I'm scared of getting even pre cum in my mouth and getting infected. I don't even like to jerk them off of get cum or pre cum anywhere near my body for fear I'll have a scratch or a wound and the spree will get on it and infect me. It's even worse that I'm into older men.
    Does anyone else have this fear? How do you prevent yourself from catching HIV? What's safe to do?


Comments

  • #2
    Rick_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,620 ✭✭✭Rick_


    I think you're being beyond overly cautious in the circumstances.

    Unless you work on this and properly research the likelihood of contracting any STD's by various forms of contact and weaning yourself off this extreme way of thinking/behaving then it is unlikely you will ever be comfortable.

    For your own sanity and peace of mind, read up on this and help settle your head about it. It's clearly stressing you out and it really needn't be.


  • #3
    L1011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 71,581 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    Bebopclown wrote: »
    I have this massive fear of catching STDs. The main one being HIV or AIDS. I am getting more and more afraid of doing anything sexual with anyone because of this. I've been to the Boilerhouse a few times but I always leave petrified that I've caught something and can't sleep for the next few weeks. its hitting the point where I just don't even want to touch anyone or kiss anyone for fear of contracting HIV. Anal sex is always a strict no no with me, even with a condom on, I'm scared it will rip so I've never done that. Oral is another big fear, I'm scared of getting even pre cum in my mouth and getting infected. I don't even like to jerk them off of get cum or pre cum anywhere near my body for fear I'll have a scratch or a wound and the spree will get on it and infect me. It's even worse that I'm into older men.
    Does anyone else have this fear? How do you prevent yourself from catching HIV? What's safe to do?

    Read up on it on proper resources - not scare sites. Pay particular attention to the transmission rates for various potential infection routes.

    Otherwise, proper condom use all but eliminates ripping/bursting. Also investigate PrEP if you want to and remember that PEP exists for potential exposures.


  • #4
    bonyn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 297 ✭✭bonyn


    Hiv is probably the only thing any sexually active person really needs to worry about as it can't be cured. It's cringeworthy to see people try to minimise how serious the infection is.

    Don't mean to be naive but try to choose your company a little better, and continue to take reasonable precautions.


  • #5
    J_E
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,734 ✭✭✭J_E


    bonyn wrote: »
    Hiv is probably the only thing any sexually active person really needs to worry about as it can't be cured. It's cringeworthy to see people try to minimise how serious the infection is.

    Don't mean to be naive but try to choose your company a little better, and continue to take reasonable precautions.

    It's serious but this is an inappropriate reaction. It is something that is easily prevented with care and consistency. The people who are entirely alienated by HIV-positive people and then sleep with others on a testimony that the person they are sleeping with is 'clean' is so misguided. If you want to be sexually active with strangers, you should assume people may have something before you don't, and use protection appropriately, be that condoms, avoidance of certain sexual practices, PrEP (although I still feel like PrEP is an irresponsible cop-out when people see it as a way to 'safely' bareback, it should not be used that way).

    OP needs to educate themselves and manage this fear better because it's not something worth ruining their life over, all these crazy thoughts. With knowledge, common sense, and responsible sexual practice, you will not be at risk.

    Not everyone knows their status - you can't go by 'I'm STD-free'.


  • #6
    L1011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 71,581 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    bonyn wrote: »
    Hiv is probably the only thing any sexually active person really needs to worry about as it can't be cured. It's cringeworthy to see people try to minimise how serious the infection is.

    Don't mean to be naive but try to choose your company a little better, and continue to take reasonable precautions.

    Who precisely here is minimising how serious it is?

    Based on liking your post, I'm not sure the OP actually wants anything other than reinforcement for his viewpoint, though.


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  • #7
    bonyn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 297 ✭✭bonyn


    L1011 wrote: »
    Who precisely here is minimising how serious it is?

    Based on liking your post, I'm not sure the OP actually wants anything other than reinforcement for his viewpoint, though.

    I didn't mean to imply the op's precautions and phobias are sensible.

    However.
    1. HIV is terrible and no one wants to catch it.
    2. The risk can be lowered by being more cautious about who you jump in bed with. Clearly it's safer to be in a relationship with someone who has been tested and doesnt engage in risky behaviour. (In an ideal world)
    3. Drugs are probably not an option to prevent infection... if you told your gp you wanted powerful drugs so you can sleep around even though you already use condoms, i doubt he'd prescribe them (correct me if I'm wrong). But... ya know, you are at risk of getting hit by a bus when crossing a road and ya do it anyway. Op just needs a bit of perspective.

    I doubt many studies are done, so here's my view. Anal sex with condoms with a stranger still carries a risk, but it is a fraction of the risk of unprotected sex. Oral sex has a lower risk of infection (from hiv), and virtually eliminated with a condom. And it is impossible to get hiv from someone who is hiv negative.


  • #8
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,189 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Bonyn you clearly need to educate yourself more on these issues as you don't seem to be aware of PREP or that there is mountains of data/studies out there.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #9
    bonyn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 297 ✭✭bonyn


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    Bonyn you clearly need to educate yourself more on these issues as you don't seem to be aware of PREP or that there is mountains of data/studies out there.

    Theres no silver bullet joey.


  • #10
    L1011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 71,581 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    bonyn wrote: »
    Theres no silver bullet joey.

    There is, however, a reliable to the point of potentially , for specific uers, being worthwhile risk reduction option. If someone taking PrEP assumes its going to let them bareback to their hearts content, they're misunderstanding what it does.

    Primarily the OP needs to actually learn what the risk factors are, though, as they clearly haven't got a clue about them.


  • #11
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,189 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    bonyn wrote: »
    Theres no silver bullet joey.

    I never said there was. Just dont understand where you are coming from. On the one hand you say people dont take the issue seriously enough, on the other hand you dismiss facts.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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  • #12
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,189 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Bebopclown wrote: »
    I have this massive fear of catching STDs. The main one being HIV or AIDS. I am getting more and more afraid of doing anything sexual with anyone because of this. I've been to the Boilerhouse a few times but I always leave petrified that I've caught something and can't sleep for the next few weeks. its hitting the point where I just don't even want to touch anyone or kiss anyone for fear of contracting HIV. Anal sex is always a strict no no with me, even with a condom on, I'm scared it will rip so I've never done that. Oral is another big fear, I'm scared of getting even pre cum in my mouth and getting infected. I don't even like to jerk them off of get cum or pre cum anywhere near my body for fear I'll have a scratch or a wound and the spree will get on it and infect me. It's even worse that I'm into older men.
    Does anyone else have this fear? How do you prevent yourself from catching HIV? What's safe to do?

    I think of course its ok to be scared of stds and hiv but the amount of your scaredness and anxiety seems a bit too irrational.

    Have you read up on it?

    Try reading reputable sites. Heres a few that might be useful
    http://www.man2man.ie/
    http://goshh.ie/sexualhealth/
    http://www.gmfa.org.uk/

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #13
    SILVAMAN
    Closed Accounts Posts: 730 ✭✭✭SILVAMAN


    bonyn wrote: »

    try to choose your company a little better, and continue to take reasonable precautions.
    Got to be the most ignorant comment I've ever heard....several friends are poz, and for each of them it seems to be one of the loneliest places to be-who can you tell? should you tell? how will people react? Hopefully not like you.
    Do yourself a favor and watch these movies: An Early Frost, Love, Valour, Compassion, Jeffrey, Silverlake Life, and Angels in America.


  • #14
    Fleawuss
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,681 ✭✭✭Fleawuss


    bonyn wrote: »
    Hiv is probably the only thing any sexually active person really needs to worry about as it can't be cured. It's cringeworthy to see people try to minimise how serious the infection is.

    Don't mean to be naive but try to choose your company a little better, and continue to take reasonable precautions.

    And three Hail Marys. :pac:


  • #15
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 13,198 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    I understand the OP's anxieties. Back in the mid 90s when I was in college and discovering/exploring my gay sexuality, I went to gay saunas many times and was always pretty careful but at one point I was almost convinced that I had HIV. The slightest cough, sniffle or bruise/mark on my skin would send me into a panic.

    I eventually got tested and all was OK but I do remember being scared to death at the time. And that was just before the breakthrough in treating HIV, when contracting the disease was effectively a death sentence.


  • #16
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    It's healthy to have a certain level of fear about catching STDs. It's unhealthy to let such a fear severely impact your sex life.
    A healthy sex life means knowing what precautions to take and what is safe. You minimise the risk to yourself and to others.
    With the OPs paranoia, I don't see how you could ever develop a relationship with some one.
    As Joey mentioned, read up and educate yourself on good sexual health practices from reputable websites. Ring the gay switchboard for advice or talk to your GP. There are lots of resources out there to give you the information you need to have a healthy sex life.
    A few sensible precautions and you are highly unlikely to catch HIV or other STDs.


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