Falling out of love - is there always a reason?

sporina

So, just a general question.. if you/someone falls out of love - is there always a reason? Or can one fall out of love for no reason... like the fizzle just disappears - for no reason? Or is there always a reason.. ?

A question of curiosity

LA2030

Yes it can, which might go to explain why there is much Divorce in many countries. I'd wager that two people who fall out of love never really loved one another in the unconditional sense. Many will say "oh I hated this/that about him/her" that's why be broke up or why I stopped loving him/her. Its not unconditional love and when one ego gets tired of another and cant get its "satisfaction" I dont mean this in sexual way, I'm taking about all the gratification an ego likes, the person becomes bored and then they realize the "spark" has gone, so they seek out a new "love"

If people loved another as they were, for all the things they are/do then there would not be as much divorce and so forth.

sporina

LA2030 wrote: »

Yes it can, which might go to explain why there is much Divorce in many countries. I'd wager that two people who fall out of love never really loved one another in the unconditional sense. Many will say "oh I hated this/that about him/her" that's why be broke up or why I stopped loving him/her. Its not unconditional love and when one ego gets tired of another and cant get its "satisfaction" I dont mean this in sexual way, I'm taking about all the gratification an ego likes, the person becomes bored and then they realize the "spark" has gone, so they seek out a new "love"

If people loved another as they were, for all the things they are/do then there would not be as much divorce and so forth.

so are you saying that one cannot fall out of love? that is they do, then they were never really in love? if so, I am not sure i agree = but i am young... i have been in love but fell out of it when i changed or the other did...
unconditional love i associate with my family..
but i have an open mind as i am still youngish and so too early to tell as to whether i love some one (non family member) unconditionally or not.

LA2030

Yes pretty much, I am saying that if two people or one of them decides to end it is usually for that reason, but rather than admit that they will cite reasons and proclaim their "reasons" as to what went wrong in the relationship or what the other did/didn't do for them to to justify it. Dont get me wrong now, lots of people break up for legit reasons, abuse of any kind is one. But there you go, how can a person profess their love for another and be abusive to them in any way shape or form?? Once again that is not real love.

Many people associate unconditional love with their family and rightly so. There is a saying "Blood is thicker than water" which means you are closer to your family than "others" However "Unconditional love" simply means, you love another for who they are, what they are an/or their "problems" etc. Like your friends or family, you love your best friend, your brother/sister even thou they might do or live their lives in a way that is seen as not "acceptable" in the eyes of society, or the opinions of others. Yet you still love them, still support them, and are there to help. You do not have to like or agree with what they do/say, but all it is really is saying, I accept you for who you are. If you can do this your already doing a lot better than lot of people.

So really "is there always a reason" yes there is, yet you do not have to experience the heartache or pain of this process if you choose your next partner carefully. As you mentioned you are young, a word of warning so; do not be foolish and enter or stay in any abusive relationship (be it psychical or mental/emotional) with the thoughts or under the assumption you made a commitment and must stay in it because you accept your partner for how they are. This is not what I am saying that would be a devastating error.

sporina

LA2030 wrote: »

Yes pretty much, I am saying that if two people or one of them decides to end it is usually for that reason, but rather than admit that they will cite reasons and proclaim their "reasons" as to what went wrong in the relationship or what the other did/didn't do for them to to justify it. Dont get me wrong now, lots of people break up for legit reasons, abuse of any kind is one. But there you go, how can a person profess their love for another and be abusive to them in any way shape or form?? Once again that is not real love.

Many people associate unconditional love with their family and rightly so. There is a saying "Blood is thicker than water" which means you are closer to your family than "others" However "Unconditional love" simply means, you love another for who they are, what they are an/or their "problems" etc. Like your friends or family, you love your best friend, your brother/sister even thou they might do or live their lives in a way that is seen as not "acceptable" in the eyes of society, or the opinions of others. Yet you still love them, still support them, and are there to help. You do not have to like or agree with what they do/say, but all it is really is saying, I accept you for who you are. If you can do this your already doing a lot better than lot of people.

So really "is there always a reason" yes there is, yet you do not have to experience the heartache or pain of this process if you choose your next partner carefully. As you mentioned you are young, a word of warning so; do not be foolish and enter or stay in any abusive relationship (be it psychical or mental/emotional) with the thoughts or under the assumption you made a commitment and must stay in it because you accept your partner for how they are. This is not what I am saying that would be a devastating error.

thanks for the reply - interesting topic - would be great to hear from others..

note - i am not talking about me here.. a couple i know are in trouble - thats what triggered my thread..

but on reading, i am not sure i agree with you..

I think that unconditional love is associated with family (bloodline or when it comes to children, it could be via adoption or fostering)..

But with a partner, I think the dynamics of love is different.. and I am thinking that one can fall out of love but for reasons..

I would love others opinions... its an interesting discussion..

LA2030

Sure is. Am curious to see what others think of it too.

I see where your coming from and there are reasons why as I agreed with you. Yes there are different forms of love and how we choose to express these with our respective partners. But the underlying concept that brings two people together and ultimately divides them will always be unconditional love, the cause of genuine friendships and relationships or the lack thereof in the first instance that will eventually cause them break up. People have a hard time seeing and defining/classifying what love is or ought to be because for so long its always been taught/told that its is this or that way or this type of love is only attributed for these people. Love is largely defined by our conditioning and as such our behaviors, actions/reactions, thoughts and understanding of it.

sporina

LA2030 wrote: »

Sure is. Am curious to see what others think of it too.

I see where your coming from and there are reasons why as I agreed with you. Yes there are different forms of love and how we choose to express these with our respective partners. But the underlying concept that brings two people together and ultimately divides them will always be unconditional love, the cause of genuine friendships and relationships or the lack thereof in the first instance that will eventually cause them break up. People have a hard time seeing and defining/classifying what love is or ought to be because for so long its always been taught/told that its is this or that way or this type of love is only attributed for these people. Love is largely defined by our conditioning and as such our behaviors, actions/reactions, thoughts and understanding of it.

i don't follow you to be honest..