To Sing or Not to Sing

LegacyUser

Hi,

I hope it's okay me posting this here as I know it's not as serious as a lot of issues here. Basically i've recently turned 30 and having a few “what am I doing with my life” moments. For years the idea of singing, playing guitar or doing something creative like photography has entered my mind. For some reason I’ve never pursued this though. I don’t know if I’ve brushed this off as pie in the sky ideas or what’s keeping me stuck in this cycle of thinking and not doing anything. I have a degree in Marketing and have worked since 15 in various positions so I’m not sitting at home with my head in the clouds. The idea of singing(even as a hobby) or playing guitar has often entered my mind and a lot of the time usually after a few drinks while watching a good band I’ll say right I’m going to buy a guitar or get lessons and then I never follow through. I don’t know if I’m being childish and naïve and maybe just need to get my act together and just stick with a sensible career path. My bf always tells me I should sing more often, but I don’t know if he’s been bias. While on the other hand my mam has made jokes about how badly I sing and I sound squeaky and high pitched. When I was a kid I was over in a neighbours who was a bit out there but loved going to mass and singing and I sang with her one day and she recorded it. I don’t remember exactly what happened but I know I played the tape to my mam and her friends (who were stoned at the time) and they basically laughed. I know this because she’s recalled this to friends on a couple of occasions throughout the years because she sees it still as being funny. I was asked to sing on my own in school and had a teacher who used to say “she was counting on me” when the class would be singing. I told my mam and sang a song and it was a half hazard response of “yeah that was good”. Never any encouragement I feel though to pursue it or do better. I don’t know if this is in any way related but I feel like I’ll be embarrassed or ridiculed or not taking seriously if I was start anything creative like this. Can anyone offer any advice?

Merkin

I love to sing too. I think your first port of call should maybe be to invest in a few singing lessons/voice coaching so you can oil the old vocal chords a little and then ask for an honest appraisal from your tutor if you can hold a note or not.

If you don't have the time or inclination for this maybe join your local singing group or choral group?

Big Bag of Chips

You can sing and play music along side a 'proper job' too! Most bands would be part-time and work at weekends. Keep an eye in your local paper, or if there's a musical instrument shop near you, they usually have notices up for people looking for singers or musicians.

I would advise you to get a few lessons. Especially if you want to pick up an instrument. People who are good at playing an instrument can make it look very easy, but it can be tricky at the start. If you sign yourself up for at least 1 term and pay it in full, if you can afford to, that will be your incentive to go every week. There are loads of people out there who will be fighting for spots in bands, so if you want to go for it, give yourself the best chance.

Being able to play an instrument as well as sing would be a big advantage to most bands.

GingerLily

I think you should definitely pursue singing as a hobbie, you don't even have to be amazing, if you enjoy it then why not do it! Join a choir or musical society, they're always looking for new members.

I have a friend pursuing music as a career and it's a serious amount of work, if you want to sing for enjoyment I think you should see if adding it to your hobbies is enough. Careerwise it's extremely competitive and not for the faint hearted.

Also definitely take up guitar, there are a load of online tutorials to get you started, you don't be too invest too much, just start doing it!

Good luck!!!

LegacyUser

Every week, all across the world, people sing, play football, run races or whatever the hell takes their fancy, all without any prospect of getting a record contract, winning a match, or standing on the podium. Some weekends I do all three and more and it would never dawn on me not to do them, why would it?

"Let go, let fly, forget.
You've listened long enough. Now strike your note."
-Seamus Heaney.

Sure i only took it up a few years ago myself. Join a music school and get some singing lessons and go from there
There's people there who never did it in their lives til retirement taking lessons joining choirs etc

Skibunny77

I agree with the suggestion of a voice coach. You need confidence more than anything. A voice coach will give you a honest opinion on your voice and range.

Ursus Horribilis

So what do you think of your own singing? You seem to be placing an awful lot of weight on what your mum's saying and not other people. Have you listened to recordings of yourself singing - what do you think?

You could start small and go join a choir locally. See how you get on with that.

As for buying a guitar, could you borrow one off someone to see if you'll take to it? Judging by the pawn shop I walk past on the way to work and sites like Done Deal, there are an awful lot of second hand guitars floating around out there from people who bought them with the best of intentions but never quite made it. So be careful you're not about to buy something that'll be gathering dust in your house.

Look into taking guitar lessons. Or failing that, this guy has a lot of good guitar lessons on YouTube http://www.justinguitar.com/en/BC-000-BeginnersCourse.php

metaoblivia

I agree with the others! Give singing a try - take some classes, get a vocal coach. I'm a trained classical singer (you don't have to go that route, obviously) and it brings me so much joy. I don't do it professionally, but I've sung with choirs and in shows throughout the community - it's wonderful.

I think if you have an interest in something and the means to try it, you should. Don't let fear of embarrassment or ridicule hold you back. Right now, I'm taking an adult ballet class. I'm awful at dancing - always have been. And honestly, I make an absolute tit of myself in class every time we start doing that. I'm sure at least some classmates are catching glimpses of me and thinking, "God, she's awful." And they'd be right (I'm not being self-deprecating, btw - I'm truly that bad at learning steps).

But I think one of the most important things you can do in life is put yourself in situations where you might fail or be embarrassed. Because you usually learn that it isn't all that bad. And what do we get - especially when it's the arts we're pursuing - if we never take a risk?

I'll go a step further and take a bit of the surprise out for you. No matter how good you are, you will have an embarrassing moment if you pursue singing/guitar. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. It's something all performers go through. God, I've had so many myself, on stage and in front of so many people! But it's part of the process and it makes you better. Don't be afraid of it.

Detached Retina

Sure why not? You can pick up an acoustic guitar for feck all on done deal, even in music shops the basic ones aren't that expensive if you have a couple of quid spare. You could do tutorials on youtube. Any place I've worked in half them have been in bands in their spare time for fun. Even try out some karaoke with mates to gauge a different reaction to your singing abilities. I know a few people took up acting as a hobby in their 40's and have great fun doing plays locally, got some add /extras work and like the guys in bands make a bit of pocket money out of them eventually too. 30 is so young to, so you never know . But it would be satisfying either way.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys for all the replies. I would love to pursue it even as just a bit of fun. But the idea of getting up in front of people and singing terrifies me. I'd love to have the confidence just to do Karaoke. I know I place a lot of weight on my mams opinion, but only just yesterday she made a comment about me having a crap voice( I was trying to talk to her about a song, so sang a line of it) to my little sister and how "I know this". It's not very nice when you hear this a lot and doesn't inspire you to take it up as a hobby or otherwise.

Glitter

Do it! It will bring so much joy to your life.

I've been involved in the performing arts for over 16 years alongside my day job and cannot recommend it highly enough as a hobby.

Trying to make a career of it can be soul destroying, no matter how talented you are though. So try to just focus on the pleasure of art for art's sake. :cool:

TweetTweet

TweetTweet wrote: »

Thanks guys for all the replies. I would love to pursue it even as just a bit of fun. But the idea of getting up in front of people and singing terrifies me. I'd love to have the confidence just to do Karaoke. I know I place a lot of weight on my mams opinion, but only just yesterday she made a comment about me having a crap voice( I was trying to talk to her about a song, so sang a line of it) to my little sister and how "I know this". It's not very nice when you hear this a lot and doesn't inspire you to take it up as a hobby or otherwise.

Even if there were something wrong with your voice it could be a simple tweak that a teacher would help you fix. Never mind dwelling on stage performances and get a coach first.

Big Bag of Chips

If you're nervous about singing solo, why not join a choral society? There are hundreds of them around the country. My cousin recently joined a gospel choir and loves it! Or join a musical society. That way you could get singing experience, in a group, and some acting experience. As your confidence grows with participation then you might find yourself doing a bit more.

Your mother sounds unpleasant, and I'd say if Katherine Jenkins sang for her she'd find something to criticise! Your voice doesn't need to be faultless. Very very few amateur singers have pitch perfect voices. If you can hold a tune then with practice you can learn the skills needed to improve. Proper breathing, exercises to open your throat and widen the range of your vocals.

There's loads of simple things you can do. But you seem to be jumping straight into performing solo in front of hundreds. Start small. And start in a group where you will be taught the correct techniques. Then think about branching out on your own.

LegacyUser

TweetTweet wrote: »

I know I place a lot of weight on my mams opinion, but only just yesterday she made a comment about me having a crap voice

That has nothing to do with singing, that's just some mothers. Among my friends there are a few total over-achievers in sports, the arts and business, I happen to know, because my own mother is so over-critical and I talk with friends about it, that those highly successful people can't get a word of support or acknowledgement from the people closest to them, especially their mothers. It's so common it's a cliché and if you have a google you'll find a huge body of work on the phenomenon. For jaysis sake don't let her put you off something you want to do.

GingerLily

TweetTweet wrote: »

Thanks guys for all the replies. I would love to pursue it even as just a bit of fun. But the idea of getting up in front of people and singing terrifies me. I'd love to have the confidence just to do Karaoke. I know I place a lot of weight on my mams opinion, but only just yesterday she made a comment about me having a crap voice( I was trying to talk to her about a song, so sang a line of it) to my little sister and how "I know this". It's not very nice when you hear this a lot and doesn't inspire you to take it up as a hobby or otherwise.

I think maybe you need to address your relationship with your mother, this seems to be a much bigger issue then stage fright.

There's been lots of good suggestions for how to embrace your musical side, I hope you can have a go with a few, good luck!!

Your Face

Sing, always sing.

LegacyUser

GingerLily wrote: »

I think maybe you need to address your relationship with your mother, this seems to be a much bigger issue then stage fright.

There's been lots of good suggestions for how to embrace your musical side, I hope you can have a go with a few, good luck!!

Thanks GingerLily, you're probably right. My mother is a very complicated woman. I have vested a lot of time and energy trying to have a better relationship with her and help her with her problems. This is my time now though, this is why I want to look into singing.

LegacyUser

So, i've taken the leap and i'm going to see a voice coach this evening. Extremely excited and extremely nervous. Wish me luck

December2012

Best of luck. Enjoy it.

LegacyUser

Thanks everybody, Oh my god most terrifying and thrilling think i've ever done. So proud of myself. I actually sang in front of a complete stranger Thanks for all the encouragement x

GingerLily

Keep going and make sure to keep enjoying it.

Best of luck OP!!!

silverbolt

Alto sax player/sometime singer here.

Learning is not easy, its frustrating as hell in fact. Its easy to get discouraged and think why do i bother, im never going to get this etc etc.

If your commuted you will stick with it, if its not for you then stop. BUT you wont know either way until you try.

Oh and my mother has NEVER shown an interest in anything i do. So dont place too much stock on her opinion.